The Welcome Matt

This Week I Am Proud To Be a BYU Cougar

2011-03-05T01:21:00.000-05:00

The BYU Honor Code has been in the news a lot this week. The starting center of the basketball team, Brandon Davies, was suspended from the team for violating the Honor Code. Because BYU is ranked #3 in the nation and was in the discussion for possibly receiving a 1-seed in the NCAA Tournament, it was big news. It ran on just about every national news outlet. A couple of co-workers have asked me about it. Although most of the press and commentary I’ve seen have been positive, praising BYU for sticking to its principles even when it might mean sacrificing a deeper run in the tournament, there has been some controversy and criticism, even from among the BYU faithful.

I believe BYU handled this situation absolutely perfectly. It’s unfortunate that Davies got himself into this situation, though he should be applauded for coming forward himself. But given that it happened (whatever it was), BYU did the right thing by suspending him from the team quickly and decisively.

When I was a senior in high school, I decided to apply to only two colleges: BYU and Stanford. BYU was more of the safe bet, the sure thing, the comfort zone for a kid who had grown up in Salt Lake City. Stanford was the stretch, the prestigious national university for the smart kid I hoped I was. I was accepted by both. I seriously considered Stanford, and from the moment I got their acceptance package, I was kind of assuming I would go to Stanford. But then I went to Palo Alto for a campus visit. I was wowed by the beautiful architecture, the pervasive aura of intelligence and learning, and the sense of fun that the students all had. The thing that stuck with me most, though, were the advertisements around campus and the conversations among the students I talked to and observed, about a certain party that weekend – apparently sponsored, or at least condoned, by the school – called the Exotic Erotic. This party, as I came to understand it, was deliberately and overtly sexual in nature: you were supposed to “dress up” in some way for it, and the greater the proportion of your body was exposed by your costume, the better. I didn’t attend, obviously, and I don’t pretend to assert that everyone at Stanford attended either, but the scuttlebutt about it left an impression on me that was one of the biggest factors in my decision to attend BYU over Stanford.

When it came down to it, I chose BYU because I felt like I would be more comfortable there. I chose BYU because I wouldn’t have to worry about things like the Exotic Erotic happening. I chose BYU because I wanted to be with and associate with people who wouldn’t go to that kind of party. In short, I chose BYU because BYU has an Honor Code and it expects its students to live by it.

A lot of people – even a lot of BYU students and alumni – misunderstand the Honor Code. They think that it is a mechanism for enforcing righteousness. They see it as a Big Brother who is always watching out to make sure everyone keeps the commandments. They think it’s a means to take away personal freedom and your ability to make choices for yourselves. But as I understand it, the Honor Code has very different purpose that it almost entirely unrelated to keeping the commandments. The Honor Code exists to maintain a certain image and environment at BYU. It makes BYU a special, unique place, unlike any other. The Honor Code keeps things like the Exotic Erotic from happening at BYU.

Yes, a lot of the things the Honor Code requires are also required by God. The universe of sins and the universe of Honor Code violations substantially overlap. But there are sins that are not Honor Code violations (failing to read your scriptures, unkindness). And there are violations of the Honor Code that are not sins (staying in the apartment of a member of the opposite sex after midnight, growing a beard). The difference is that the requirements of the Honor Code serve to make BYU what it is. The requirements of God serve to lead you to eternal life.

So when Brandon Davies commits a sin (as has been widely reported, but never confirmed by any official source) that is also an Honor Code violation, BYU absolutely should punish him by kicking him off the basketball team. But the reason he should be kicked off the basketball team is not because he sinned. It’s because he can’t be an official representative of the university to the world when he’s not living the kind of life that is expected of everyone who goes to the university. The fact that he sinned is not the concern of the Honor Code office – that’s the concern of Brandon Davies and his bishop. When people react to the Honor Code Office as though it were the caretaker of Davies’s repentance process, they miss the point. Yes, we should show Christlike love toward sinners. Yes, Jesus almost defended the woman taken in adultery and told her he didn’t condemn her (but he also told her to sin no more). But those are the reactions that should be directed toward sin. The Honor Code Office is not concerned with sin or the repentance process or Davies’s eternal salvation. That’s not its function. Its function is to make sure BYU remains a very different institution from Stanford and every other university in the land – somewhere where the Exotic Erotic would never happen. Somewhere where people like me and the hundreds of thousands of other students who have passed through BYU since 1875 can be comfortable in living the kind of life we want to live.

I don’t understand when people say there’s something messed up with the Honor Code Office because it suspended Brandon Davies from the basketball team. Yes, it was very harsh in this particular situation because he’s a high-profile player on a high-profile sports team, and it’s heartbreaking that he’s been through the media wringer that he’s been through. But that’s not the Honor Code office’s fault. If he feels like he has a scarlet A pinned on him, he knows that he pinned it on himself. He knew the rules of BYU and he knew the consequences of breaking them and he agreed to abide by them. Then he broke them. No one forced him to come to BYU, but in choosing to do so, he was obliged to abide by the rules that make BYU what it is. In this situation, it’s more about keeping your commitment than anything else (something BYU is institutionally very big on – remember Karl Maeser’s chalk circle?).

In such a situation where a student violates the rules he has voluntarily committed to keep, the Honor Code Office could do one of the following things:

1) Don’t enforce the Honor Code.
2) Enforce the Honor Code for all students except athletes.
3) Enforce the Honor Code for all students except star athletes.
4) Enforce the Honor Code for all students except star athletes on nationally-ranked teams that are receiving coverage from national media outlets.
5) Enforce the Honor Code for all students equally.

Is there really a choice here? Choices 2, 3, and 4 are a double-standard (BYU has been criticized in the past for having a double-standard for athletes *cough*McMahon*cough, and to the extent there has been a double-standard, that is unjustifiable). And Choice 1 means that BYU is no different than any other university in the country – bring on the Exotic Erotic.

The only choice is to enforce the Honor Code for all students equally, and that is exactly what BYU did. Brandon Davies broke the rules, and he, like everyone else, has to live with the consequences. I suppose some might claim that the enforcement was too harsh – maybe he should have only been suspended for one game, or maybe he should have just had to write sentences on the chalkboard. But if the violation is what it is rumored to be, I agree with the decision that he should not be a representative of the university for the foreseeable future. At least until he gets his life turned around and starts living like everyone is expected to live at BYU.

I am proud to be a BYU Cougar this week because the Honor Code is getting so much press. I’m proud to be affiliated with an institution that sticks to the old-fashioned standard that says that it’s a desirable thing to be in a place where people don’t drink, smoke, or have extra-marital sex. I’m proud that BYU decided that maintaining its standards is more important than making a deep run in the NCAA Tournament (and remember, BYU just declared independence in football for one main reason: EXPOSURE. How much exposure do you think The Jimmer & Co. going to the Final Four would have garnered for BYU? But the university made a decision that makes that far less likely). I’m proud that national sports pundits are applauding BYU’s decision to stick to its standards, even when they don’t relate to or agree with them. I’m proud that BYU takes its role as an educational institution more seriously than its role as a provider of athletic entertainment – after all, do you think perhaps Davies and the rest of the team (and who knows who else from among those watching the proceedings) have learned something about making and keeping commitments and letting people down? I’m proud to be a Cougar.

Our Time-share Presentation

2010-11-07T22:10:00.002-05:00

Shelly and I took the family down to Williamsburg last weekend in response to an offer to listen to a time-share presentation in exchange for three nights' accommodations now and two nights' later on (we did have to pay $198 for the accommodations, $100 of which was refunded after the presentation). We went into the ordeal expecting the worst, as we'd heard several horror stories from others, but it turned out to be not that bad.

After getting the kids squared away downstairs in their child care center, we sat down at a table in a noisy room full of little tables with our sales agent, Clarissa, a nice old Swedish lady. I thought that perhaps the room was so crowded and noisy in an attempt to make sure we leaned forward to be able to hear what Clarissa was saying, thus engaging us and making us more likely to buy.

She explained some of the basic parameters of Diamond Resorts' time-share opportunity. You buy an ownership interest in a group of resorts throughout the US, but you get a partnership with other resorts worldwide, and there's a couple of other partner programs you can participate in, for example, to claim other people's fixed timeshares that they can't use for a particular week. The presentation, to tell the truth, was unnervingly disjointed. Clarissa kept pulling out all sorts of different brochures and not letting us take a close look at any of them, explaining all the different programs that we would get to participate in, but in the end, I don't think I could have correctly listed the programs we would be a part of. Instead, the presentation focused on just getting us excited to vacation more. We saw a video of beautiful childless couples golfing and sitting under a Hawaiian waterfall and so forth (I did note that most of the people in the movie who were giving testimonials were at least in their 50s), and we took a quick tour of an updated unit at the resort there in Williamsburg - it was nice, and I'd love to stay there.

I found myself falling for the pitch just a little bit. It would be fun to have access to all of these vacation options, I thought. But it would depend on how much we'd have to pay. Is it a good deal?

When her presentation was finally to the point where it was time for her to tell us how much it would cost, Clarissa got up and then came back to the table with a little flyer with some dollar figures on it. About thirty seconds later, Terelle, our "closer" who had been coming in and out and telling us how much he loves giving stuff away to people, swooped in and gently reprimanded Clarissa because he didn't want her to show us those prices. We are entitled to a better deal, we were told. It was totally and obviously staged. I rolled my eyes. Terelle came back with the actual offer: $10,800 up front, plus $770 per year for the rest of our lives and the rest of our children's lives and the rest of their children's lives, on and on for eternity.

I was actually surprised at the near-reasonableness of this price. The way the system works is that you get a certain number of "points" each year, which you then redeem for vacations. You can buy more points, of course, but we were looking at the lowest level, which was 3,000 points. The points, we were told, could even be used for airfare, rental cars, or even merchandise at Best Buy. Clarissa told us several times how convenient it was for her to fly her granddaughter from LA to Stockholm using her points. I asked her the logical question: What is the exchange rate between points and dollars when you use it for airfare? She said, "You know, I don't have any idea." Red siren lights started whirling over her head. You don't know whether it would have been a better deal for you to pay cash? I asked Terelle that question as he gave us our offer, and he indicated that for most things, one point converted to about 15 cents, but it also converted to 2.5 air miles. I don't know what an air mile is worth, but I do know that he was asking me to pay $10,000 plus $770 a year to get points that are worth $450 a year.

When he said, "How do you want to take care of the down payment today?" I laughed and said we need a moment to talk about it. I told Shelly I was surprised at how tempting the offer was. I said I wouldn't mind if they eliminated the up-front cost and only charged us the annual cost; Shelly said she wouldn't mind the annual cost if they only charged us the up-front cost. But when you put the two together, given how much we usually spend on vacation lodgings in a year, we figured it would take us at least 15 years to break even. And yes, we would have this for more than 15 years. But it just didn't feel like it was worth it. Particularly when the benefits weren't explained to us logically, and we had not yet seen a piece of paper listing out the contract we would be making. So we said no.

Terelle came back with a second offer that he claimed to "need to get an exception for." (Yeah, right.) 3,000 points per year for $8,500 or so up front and $660 per year. That's a better offer. And Terelle had thrown in (from the beginning) two free week-long vacations and a three-night cruise and $1000 in "travel vouchers" (whatever that is). But we still said no.

To their credit, the only slightly mean thing the Diamond Resorts people ever said was as Terelle was walking away after our second rejection, he said, "That [meaning the $8000] is the same amount you're going to pay for one trip to Disney [World]. One trip!" He may be right, but I'm not locked into paying Disney several hundred dollars a year for the rest of my mortal life.

We spent a total of four hours at our allegedly "90-minute presentation."

When we got our voucher for the additional two nights' stay, it was so full of restrictions that we thanked our lucky stars we hadn't made another deal with these guys without seeing all the fine print. The farther away we get from the presentation, the more sure we are that we made the correct decision. They touted the main selling point of this timeshare program as its flexibility - you can go just about anywhere and do just about anything. But you know what is even more flexible than Diamond Resorts Points? Cash. And I think in the end, we'll go on all the vacations we want, and we'll spend less cash than we would have had we signed up. It was a good experience to have, and I don't regret the deal we made to listen to them in exchange for lodging, but I'm not so sure I'll ever do this again. Maybe when I'm old and rich like the people in the movie they showed us.

Interbirthday Day

2010-11-05T14:26:00.003-04:00

Today is the day that I can wish both of my big girls a happy birthday. Ellie's birthday was yesterday and Annie's is tomorrow. As we suspected from the moment when Annie's C-section was scheduled for two days after Ellie's birthday, both of them would end up celebrating their birthdays together on November 5 for years to come (at least till they're teenagers who can't stand each other).

So happy birthday to my sweet Ellie and my precious Annie! You two light up my life.

The First College Football Post of 2010

2010-08-22T21:33:00.002-04:00

It's been an interesting summer for college football fans like myself, but it never got more interesting than this past week when rumors started circulating on Wednesday that BYU was about to go independent in football and join the WAC in its other sports. I was trying to work from home at the time, and glanced at the headline, and my productivity dropped off steeply at that point. But the plan unraveled when the MWC, afraid of losing its cash cow, invited Fresno State and Nevada, who promptly accepted. It appears they first invited Utah State, but they turned the offer down because just last week the eight WAC schools had gotten together and pledged loyalty to one another, even going so far as to sign a contract with a $5 million penalty for leaving. I guess that didn't stop Fresno and Nevada. This leaves the WAC with six teams, and on the verge of death. I, like everyone else, have been thinking a lot about what might happen.

The first question is what BYU is going to do. It sounds like they're pretty serious about their intent to go independent, to leverage their national audience and their high-tech broadcast facilities and their already-on-60-million-people's-TVs cable network (something Texas can only dream of at this point). But they need somewhere for their other sports. The only serious options I've heard are a revived WAC, the MWC itself, or the West Coast Conference, which doesn't play football anyway, along with the likes of Gonzaga, Pepperdine, and St. Mary's.

A lot of the negative commentary I've seen, particularly from national writers, is that BYU is delusional if it thinks this is the way to a national championship. And they're right. This is not the way to a national championship, or even to better access to the BCS. The thing that people don't understand is that this is mostly about exposure. BYU is currently languishing on the Mtn., a stupid little cable channel that was the sole reason I got DirecTV a couple of years ago, but which I really don't enjoy. Not only is it not available to very many Americans, its production values are horrible. They might as well not be playing for all the exposure they get on the Mtn. When you're not on TV, you practically don't exist. I truly believe one of the reasons Boise State is doing so well in national perceptions lately is that they've benefitted from the WAC's contract with ESPN. They were on TV several times last season. They're in for a rude awakening when they join the MWC next year.

BYU is an arm of the LDS Church, and because of that, everything it does needs to be somehow related to the mission of the Church. The football program brings a lot of exposure to the university and the church, and highlights the clean lifestyles these young men live. It's a great public relations tool, if not a missionary tool. BYU just wants to get the football team out in front of more people to make this mission more successful.

And of course, there is the element of money. I would guess that exposure is the number one reason for going independent, but money is number two. BYU makes a paltry $1.5 million a year from the Mtn. TV deal. It has apparently talked to ESPN about brokering three or four games a year for an independent BYU, paying out about $1 million per game. That way, BYU doesn't even have to run advertising on BYUTV to show the other games - they're still way ahead of where they are in the MWC. ESPN likes BYU - we bring in ratings. And big-time teams will come play BYU if they're on ESPN. The Oklahoma and Tulane games last year were both brokered by ESPN just as much as they were by the schools' athletic departments.

The main problems I see with the idea of independence are 1) scheduling, and 2) bowl games. The proposed deal with the WAC took a lot of the pressure off of scheduling, as BYU would have agreed to play four to six WAC teams each year (including Utah State, who they were playing every year anyway). Add in an annual game with Utah, perhaps a new series with Notre Dame (they've said it would definitely be a possibility, especially late in the season when independents have a tough time finding opponents because everyone's thick into their conference schedules), and consider the fact that we've already got a four-game series lined up with Boise State and a brand new three-game series with Texas*, and you've only got two to four more games to find. Certainly there will be two to four Pac-12, Big 12, or other teams willing to play BYU - especially if it's on ESPN. I would hope that they would talk to Navy, one of the other independents, for a regular series, because I want to be able to see the Cougs in Annapolis.

As for bowl games, that would be more problematic. They'd probably have to scrape around for leftovers or perhaps even be shut out of a bowl for the first year or two, before they could line something up with a bowl game like Notre Dame, Army, and Navy have done. I would support getting in with pretty much any bowl game in California, Arizona, or Texas, especially the Holiday Bowl. Wouldn't that be a great venue to return to?

As things sit now, here are a couple of scenarios that I could see happening:

1. BYU stays put in all sports. With BYU, Fresno State, and Nevada, the MWC will have 11 teams. There's a decent chance they might make a grab for one more to be able to have a championship game (perhaps Houston, or, if they're lucky, Utah State). BYU would be fine, but they'd be stuck in that awful TV deal, and the MWC with that lineup isn't going to become a BCS conference. So basically things would continue in the decent-but-not-nearly-as-good-as-they-could-be way they are now.

2. The WAC folds. This might happen regardless of what BYU does. I still have a soft spot in my heart for the WAC, so I'll be sad to see it go. But it only has six teams now, and some of them are looking elsewhere. It appears that Utah State is trying to get a mulligan on its turn-down of the MWC (apparently the $5 million penalty doesn't apply now that FSU and UNR left). If I'm Louisiana Tech, I'm calling up C-USA and the Sun Belt so I don't have to be linked to all these western schools anymore. Hawaii is rumored to be pondering its own independence, banking on a lot of teams wanting to come to the islands in order to get that revenue-generating 13th regular-season game. They could have an 8- or 9-game home schedule. One scenario I saw had BYU playing AT Hawaii every year. Works for them because they don't have to travel; works for us because we recruit in Polynesia and we'd get that 13th game every year (of course, then we'd have to find someone to fill it). New Mexico State, Idaho, and San Jose State appear to be left out in the lurch. I don't know what will befall them if the WAC folds. The MWC probably won't take them.

3. BYU goes independent and joins the WCC in all other sports. Rumor has it the WCC wants BYU. We fit in culturally, as a religious school - they probably wouldn't have a problem with BYU's no-Sunday-play rule like the Pac-12 or Big 12. But athletically, I could see the Gonzaga or St. Mary's men's basketball teams beating BYU every now and then, but other than that, would any other BYU team lose a single conference game ever? I think BYU would get tired of pounding the likes of San Diego and Portland, and those guys would get tired of getting pounded. Plus, it knocks BYU's prestige down a little. I once thought this was a good idea, but I'm turning against it.

4. BYU goes independent in football and stays in the MWC for everything else. I don't know if this is a viable option, as the MWC has tight control over TV rights, and one of the reasons for independence was to get that control back in BYU's hands. The WAC reportedly was offering BYU free reign with that. Plus, now that BYU has told everyone it's interested in leaving, there may be a bit of bad blood (especially from TCU, who seems to hate BYU beyond reason for no reason). Would they want to keep us? It would be good for the other sports, and if we could arrange to play four to six MWC teams a year in football (I'd vote for CSU, UNM, and Wyoming, just to keep those really old relationships alive), that would be great. But I don't see this one happening.

5. The WAC expands and BYU goes there in non-football sports. This one might have legs, but I don't know where the WAC can pick up additional teams. It appears the best candidates right now are all 1-AA schools like Texas State, UT-San Antonio, and Montana. That's not the most prestigious thing you could do, and it's not like the world needs more "have-nots" in the world of big-time football, but if it keeps the conference alive, then I guess it's OK.

My personal hope is that the WAC nabs New Mexico and San Diego State. BYU wins because the WAC could take their other teams, and that would increase the WAC's basketball cred, which is great for BYU because we'd be there mostly for the basketball. The WAC wins because it gets to stay alive, and it would give SJSU and NMSU in-state in-conference rivals in the WAC. The MWC wins because the thing that is most likely to keep it from becoming a BCS conference when the evaluation period is up in two years isn't the fact that the top teams aren't good enough; it's the fact that the bottom teams are really really lousy. SDSU and UNM are the two worst teams in the MWC in football, so jettisoning them is actually in the MWC's BCS interests. (And it doesn't really hurt the WAC in that regard, because, let's face it, they were never in the running to become a BCS conference, even when Boise State was on board.) The only problem is that I can't see why SDSU and UNM would do it, except maybe to get those in-state rivals (but I'm not sure how much they want them) or to stay with BYU. But let's try to make this happen. It's way better than Texas State.

6. BYU convinces the Big 12 to let it join for non-football sports. This is a total pipe dream, but wouldn't it be cool? They wouldn't need to intrude on the delicate revenue-sharing balance the Big 12 struck this summer to preserve its own existence, because they wouldn't be involved in football. (But if they could get a commitment for a certain number of games a year, that would be just awesome.) Plus, when the time comes that Texas decides to do something different (like maybe follow BYU's example and strike out on its own as an independent) and the Big 12 implodes, or when they realize that it's weird to have a conference called the "Big 12" when there are only 10 teams in it and they look to expand, BYU is already sitting right there. I suspect part of BYU's motivation for independence in the first place was to audition for a place in the Big 12. If they can show them how valuable a media property BYU is just by itself, then a big-time conference can't pass that up. Here's betting it works. I bet if BYU goes independent in 2011, they'll be part of a BCS conference (probably the Big 12, but it might be some new one rising from the dust of the demise of the Big 12, and it might even be the Pac-16 when that happens) by 2016.

7. Some major non-BCS realignment happens. With the WAC in disarray, and with the MWC allegedly talking to C-USA about an inter-league championship game for an automatic BCS spot (not going to happen), the ripples are not going to stay in the far west. I could see major conference realignment, with all sorts of teams joining up and moving around until everyone has the home they think they want. I was going to try to post an imagined scenario, but it's just too hard to predict. I suspect not even the MAC will remain completely unscathed by the ramifications of BYU's independence. C-USA and the Sun Belt definitely will, I think.

**

Well, those are about all the thoughts I have for now. I'm excited to watch this play out. I hope it all works out for the best for BYU, and that we can get the exposure and results we want. I wish the best for Utah State too, after their lobbying for BYU within the WAC and their integrity to stick to their commitments. I will never cheer for Fresno State or Nevada to win another game, except maybe when they play teams from BCS conferences (my hatred of the BCS is still stronger than my newfound disgust with Fresno's and Nevada's backstabbing). And as long as I'm saying stuff like that, although it's not relevant to anything else in this post, I hope Utah beats all its nonconference opponents and finishes in the middle-to-bottom of the MWC this year (maybe 7-5 overall and 3-5 in-conference would be about right), then goes to the Rose Bowl next year as the Pac-12 champion, and then never ever wins another game against anyone ever from then on.

* I thought it was great that in the midst of all this uncertainty about BYU's future and its viability as an independent, there suddenly came this announcement that Texas and BYU have agreed to a home-and-home series in 2013 and 2014 to go along with their already-scheduled game in 2011. SDSU's coach said, "Who's going to play BYU now?" A couple of hours later, one of the country's premier football programs said, "We will." Classic. This proves that BYU will be able to schedule the big boys when it wants to.

I am an iPhone Owner

2010-07-18T14:59:00.003-04:00

After several years of thinking and preparing and cajoling, I have finally convinced Shelly to let me have a grown-up toy. I got an iPhone 4.

I've had my eye on some sort of smartphone - and the iPhone in particular - for a very long time now. I've sort of been waiting until the technology had progressed to the point where I could have one gadget that could serve as a phone, email machine, camera, GPS unit, iPod, etc. all in one. I decided that the iPhone 4 is at least good enough, and it turns out that it is.

I was actually able to nab on on opening day, June 24, with no real problem. I was calling around to various stores in the area that were rumored to have them, when the Radio Shack in the local mall told me that they'd be happy to take my name and phone number a couple of days in advance, and if they got enough iPhones, they could set one aside for me. Well, the day before the big release, Radio Shack called and asked me to be there at 9 am when they opened the next morning. Fortunately, I didn't have much to do at work that day, so showing up late was fine.

At Radio Shack, everything went smoothly, except that the lady tried to force me (and each of the other four people there - they didn't get too many iPhones) to purchase not one, but two cases for the phone. I told her I didn't want a case, and I argued with her enough that she gave me one of them for free. I went back to a different Radio Shack a couple of days later and returned the other one for a full refund.

I got the phone and headed directly to work. I called Shelly to tell her I was successful, and after a couple of minutes, the call dropped. Welcome to AT&T, I thought. But as it turns out, I now believe my early call-dropping problems (that wasn't the only time) were more Apple's fault than AT&T's. Apple has recognized that there is a glitch with the antenna design, where it will have bad reception if you touch it in the most natural way to hold a phone during a call. So I guess it's a good thing I was forced to get a case - Apple has now announced they're giving them away for free to correct the reception problem.

So now I have a great toy, and life will really never be quite the same again. I can check my email whenever I want (it's actually even made my work life less stressful, not more, because I can check and be confident that I'm up to date with what people want from me, as opposed to just sitting there in ignorance, hoping no one is waiting for me to respond to something). I can play silly games while I'm waiting or sitting. I can know when the next metro train is coming to my station and therefore know whether I need to run to make it or not (I hate arriving in the station to see my train just pulling away, and the next one won't come for 6 minutes). I can Google anything with my voice. I can (and did) prepare a Sunday School lesson while we're at a water park. When Shelly was shopping for a new jacket and there was no mirror nearby, I just turned on the front-facing camera, and she looked at herself in the screen of the phone.

And boy, oh boy, do the girls love it too. In fact, I am not sure who loves the iPhone more: me or Ellie. As I type right now, Ellie is playing a little game on it. The new question I get all the time (from both big girls) is "Daddy, can I do something on your phone?" The favorite app is a paper doll princess thing where the girls can dress up a princess. There are even some slightly educational ones I'm trying to get them to use more often.

Even Shelly is beginning to love it more and more. Last night, we were watching a movie, and I asked her to pause it so I could run in to the bathroom for a quick break. As soon as I got there, Shelly called to me, "Why did you take your phone with you?" She wanted to play with it while I was indisposed. (She apparently doesn't realize that indisposed time is prime iPhoning time.) She also recently asked me if there was an app for recipes. Sheesh. In the next ten minutes I downloaded nine free recipe apps. Maybe this device will soon help us eat better too!

So I'm open to suggestions for apps I should get, and if there's anyone else out there with an iPhone 4 who wants to try out the FaceTime video-calling feature, please let me know!

Boise State and the Mountain West

2010-06-12T10:44:00.002-04:00

I have been known to write all sorts of things about one of my favorite sports, college football, here on this blog. But I generally only do so during the September-to-January timeframe. But this is no ordinary June in the world of college football. The paradigm has been blasted this week, with all sorts of conference realignment going on. Colorado signed up with the Pac-10, which is reported to have an invitation out to Texas, Texas Tech, Texas A&M, Oklahoma, and Oklahoma State, which would make it a superconference, probably known as the Pac-16. Nebraska has left the Big 12 for the Big Ten (as of this moment, due to Colorado and Nebraska's defections, the Big 12 has ten members, and the Big Ten has 12 members!). The SEC may be courting A&M. The Big 12 may stay intact and invite a Mountain West school or two (or not) to stay in business. If (as looks more likely) the Big 12 falls apart, Kansas, Kansas State, Iowa State, Missouri (who thought they were going to be invited to the Big Ten, but apparently aren't), and Baylor will be left hanging, and may be snatched up by the MWC, the Big East, or C-USA. The Big Ten also has its eyes on Notre Dame (as always), Syracuse, Pitt, and Rutgers, among possible others. The SEC may raid the ACC and/or the Big East to get to 16 teams to compete with the new Pac-16 and a 16-team version of the Big Ten. It's all a little crazy right now, and frankly, it's exciting for a fan of the sport like me.

But I want to talk specifically about one conference realignment move that was made yesterday afternoon: Boise State accepted an invitation to join the Mountain West Conference.

I see why both sides did it: The MWC is trying to position itself to become a BCS conference - to join the cartel, in other words. By adding BSU, they get credit for their great accomplishments the last couple of years in the formula that will be used in 2012 to reevaluate which conferences get to be part of the cartel. Boise is doing it because they want to be part of the cartel too, and the MWC is a better ticket to do that than the WAC. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. That's the philosophy of both the MWC and Boise State, and they are more likely to join 'em if they join forces with each other than they were alone. So that's why they did it.

But I don't like the move for five reasons.

1) First and foremost it decimates the WAC. There aren't any other good teams in the WAC (Fresno State and Hawaii are the next-best), so the gap between the haves and the have-nots - especially if BSU and the MWC succeed in joining the haves - just got a lot wider. Never again will there be two simultaneous BCS-busters like there were this past year, because all the legitimate candidates will be in the same conference (until that conference joins the cartel, anyway, then there won't be any legitimate candidates). These mega-conferences that appear to be forming are ominously leading up to some sort of playoff scenario (good) where the champions of the mega-conferences get in, and the little guys left behind, like the WAC, will be completely shut out (very bad). The discrimination inherent in the BCS system will only get worse. Maybe if the Big 12 leftovers get snatched up by C-USA, that conference can remain viable. Otherwise, goodbye WAC, C-USA, MAC, and Sun Belt. See you in the FCS (the former Division I-AA).

2) As a BYU fan, I don't want to have to play Boise every year. They're too good. I like to cheer for Boise, and I like to cheer for BYU. I don't like it when two teams I like have to play each other.

3) The MWC was the perfect size: 9 teams. That way, you play 8 conference games and 4 non-conference games. You play every team in your conference every year. Now we're either going to have to scrap one non-conference game (which I'm not interested in doing - it's fun to have games against Florida State and Oklahoma, as BYU did last year, and we've got this silly little thing where we have to play stupid ol' Utah State every year so that takes up one non-conference game each year) or else you miss playing one team from your conference. I don't know if I could handle a BYU season where we don't play our longtime conference rivals like Colorado State, Air Force, or New Mexico. And if this affects the BYU-Utah game, all heck will break loose in the state of Utah (it won't - they'll make sure that game gets played every year, but is that fair to, say, TCU, whose main rival, SMU, is not in the conference, or to San Diego State, about whom no one gives two hoots, rival-wise?).

4) I don't think it really will help Boise State as much as they think it will. They've been doing just fine in the WAC. In fact, you could argue that no team in the country has benefitted more from the evil BCS system than Boise State. They just keep tromping through the weak WAC and winning the occasional BCS game. They've gone from obscure nobodies to a national power in just a few years thanks to the weakness of the WAC and the evils of the BCS. Not a bad life. Now they're going to lose a game or two a year to BYU, TCU, and/or Utah, and we'll see how they like it then.

5) If the MWC joins the cartel, as the Boise State move is intended to help it do, how can I rail against the cartel when my favorite team is IN the cartel? Is it a morally correct move for a religious school like BYU to be part of such an evil system? Lotsa conscience searching if that happens.

Ariel v. Belle

2010-06-01T21:13:00.004-04:00

As mentioned earlier, Ellie fell in love with Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" a few months ago. She and her sister Annie are still completely obsessed with it.* A couple of weeks ago we borrowed a copy of "The Little Mermaid," to try to expand their Disney horizons. They like it, but it's not as big a favorite as "Beauty and the Beast."

And with good reason. Re-watching both these films after having been borderline obsessed with them myself as a teenager when they were new, I am reminded why Belle is a much better person than Ariel, and therefore why "Beauty and the Beast" is a much better movie than "The Little Mermaid." Yep, I'm breaking my month-plus blogging silence by debating the relative merits of 20-year-old cartoons.

Here it is in a nutshell: Belle thinks about, is concerned about, and makes sacrifices for other people; Ariel is one of the most self-centered characters in the Disney pantheon.

Think about it. The whole conceit of the plot for "Beauty and the Beast" is based on the fact that Belle is so full of love for her father that she chooses to live the rest of her life in a dungeon, held captive by a monstrous, roaring, violent beast (or so she thought at the time she made the decision), so her father doesn't have to. In contrast, the whole plot of "The Little Mermaid" is based on Ariel forsaking everyone and everything she supposedly cares about so she can try out the notion in her head that it would be cool to be a human. Belle quite literally gives her life for her father; Ariel purposely and defiantly disobeys her father's most stern and ardent warnings and commands, which directly leads to him having to literally give his life for her.**

Other examples of Belle's charity abound throughout the movie:

- She is in the process of escaping from the castle when she's beset by wolves. The Beast, following her, fights them off, but is seriously hurt in the battle. Instead of continuing her flight, Belle actually turns back and nurses the Beast back to health***, for a second time literally choosing to give up her freedom to help someone else (this time someone she is afraid of and wants to escape from - it's one thing to give up your life for your father; it's another to do it for your enemy).

- Upon learning that her father is sick, she asks for permission and leaves the Beast - whom by this time she has grown to love - to help him, thus giving up a chance at happiness to go back to the poor provincial town where she is clearly not happy and will never find love.

- When Gaston leads a lynch mob to kill the Beast, Belle risks her life to go back to him and warn him.

And so on. In contrast, here is the complete compendium of instances where Ariel does something - anything - that might benefit someone else instead of herself:

- When she sees Sebastian on Grimsby's dinner plate, she beckons for him to hide on her plate.

That's it.

As far as selfish actions go, Ariel is constantly disobeying her father by going up to the surface, and collecting human whosits and whatsits galore. She makes fun of her best friend Flounder. She pretty much tells Sebastian to take a hike every time he tries to keep her out of trouble. The quintessential image of her is when she swims off with Flotsam and Jetsam (the eels, who she knows are trouble) to meet Ursula, her nose high, her eyes shut, and an insult on her lips for Sebastian, who is trying to help her. Heck, when we first meet her, she's forgotten that she's the star of a royal concert, because she thinks it would be more fun to go explore a sunken ship instead.

Belle does take some self-centered actions. She goes into the West Wing because her curiosity gets the better of her. Oh, and she decides that marrying Gaston is not a sacrifice of her own happiness for the sake of someone else's happiness that she is willing to make.

Beyond the specific selfless or selfish actions taken by each heroine, the themes and messages of the movies are starkly different.

"The Little Mermaid" seems to be teaching us to dream the most wild and crazy dream you can, and do whatever it takes to follow that dream, even if it means alienating, defying, hurting, and abandoning the people who love you. It'll all work out in the end, and you'll live happily ever after even if they don't, and that's all that matters.

In contrast, the theme of "Beauty and the Beast" is that we can all change from bad to good, and we can learn to love someone who at first doesn't seem worthy of love because everyone has something about them that is worthy of love, if we can just take the time to see it and draw it out of them. If you devote yourself to someone else and love them despite their faults, you can be happy together.****

Which character do you think I'd rather have my daughters emulate? Which lesson would I rather have them learn?

* Annie will constantly ask us completely out of the blue, "Why did Gaston lock Belle in the dungeon?" Cute, but after the 500th time of responding by paraphrasing Gaston's own words, "Because he can't have her running off to warn the creature!," a little exasperating.

** If you're foggy on the plot, as I was after 20 years, after Ariel fails to get Prince Eric to kiss her by Ursula's deadline, she becomes the property of Ursula, turning into one of those creepy little worm-like creatures featured in the song "Poor Unfortunate Souls." When King Triton finds out, he plays right into Ursula's hand, offering himself and his kingdom in exchange for Ariel - just like Belle did for her father - and becomes a poor unfortunate soul himself.

*** The big puzzler from "Beauty and the Beast": How does little old Belle get that ginormous Beast onto the back of her horse Philippe to take him back to the castle?

**** I also find it interesting that the villian in "Beauty and the Beast," Gaston, is bad mostly because he is uncharitable. He's not power-hungry or even necessarily evil for the sake of evil like most cartoon villains are (such as Ursula). He just wants to impose his will on Belle, and later, the Beast, regardless of what they think. While it's true that his brand of selfishness is a little different from Ariel's - he is vain and narcissistic whereas Ariel is simply unconcerned with others' feelings - I think Gaston and Ariel would have gotten along pretty well. Can't you just see her sitting beside those blonde airheads, singing, "He's such a tall, dark, strong, and handsome brute!"?

Diversity on the Court Revisited

2010-04-16T15:22:00.003-04:00

I first posted the following in September 2005, when Sandra Day O'Connor was being replaced on the Supreme Court. Now that John Paul Stevens has announced his retirement, I think it's time once again to think carefully about the issues I raised nearly five years ago. I won't bother re-writing the essay to fit the current situation. Just read it and consider your position on the issues.

****

I was pleased to read the other day that President Bush said, in reference to his choosing a replacement for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, that "diversity is one of the great strengths of this country." He couldn't be more right, and I hope he will have the courage to act on his words.

The Supreme Court Justices, as we all know, were intended by the Founding Parents-of-Unspecified-Gender to be representatives of the people who would, in the words of Senator Dianne Feinstein, understand "the problems real people have out there." Their personal characteristics and attributes come into play again and again as they decide weighty issues of civil procedure, ripeness, vicarious liability, and Commerce Clause power. It's obvious that the Justices first look to themselves and then to the people when judging cases, and not to some defined standard, as though it were written down on some yellowed piece of parchment.

That's why I'm a fervent supporter of true diversity on the Court. I'm pleased that in recent decades, Presidents have had the courage to nominate Justices who broke the mold of highly educated white men. We've expanded the panoply of Justices to include two highly educated black men and two highly educated white women.

But President Bush shouldn't stop there. Because it's so essential that the Supreme Court reflect the diversity of the nation, we now need a Justice who represents a larger cross-section of society than even the Justices we already have.

That's right. We need a stupid person on the Court.

Ever since John Jay was named the first Chief Justice, the Supreme Court has been the exclusive realm of very smart people. But most of the population in America isn't nearly that intelligent. The vast majority of Americans don't even know how to pronounce certiorari, let alone know what it means. How can these Smarty Pantses in black robes empathize with and stand up for the American people when the magnitude of ther intellects is so disparate from those of the people they are supposed to represent?

By restricting his choices to Ivy League-educated sharp thinkers, Bush will be neglecting those people who don't know much about the law. These people need representation on the Court. You might argue that intelligence is necessary to do a Justice's job. But I say, along with Feinstein and all the diversity-lovers, that a Justice's job isn't thinking--it's relating.

The most important quality of the Supreme Court is the way in which it reflects the demographics of our great nation. I call on President Bush to nominate someone who, like millions of Americans, never went to college. Someone who doesn't know the difference between who and whom. Someone who has never read the Constitution in his or her life.

This someone will be the greatest asset the Court could have. Because when the average American brings his case to the highest court in the land (never mind that he's doing it through his intelligent lawyer), he can look up at the nine faces on the bench, and know that, amid all the brainpower in the room, at least one of them knows exactly how he's feeling right now: absolutely and profoundly clueless.

Crying Foul

2010-04-08T12:15:00.002-04:00

On Tuesday, the Utah Jazz beat the Oklahoma City Thunder (the Zombie Sonics) by one point in overtime. As time was expiring in overtime, Kevin Durant of the Thunder launched a three-point shot and C.J. Miles of the Jazz put his hand up to block the shot. It looked like Miles got a piece of Durant's arm, but no foul was called. The ball fell harmlessly to the floor. Game over.

Wednesday, the NBA issued a statement saying that the referee messed up and should have called a foul on Miles. That would have meant that Durant, an excellent free-throw shooter, would have received three free throws and OKC probably would have won the game.

I don't understand why the NBA issued the statement. What possible good could come from the league saying, "Sorry, this call was wrong."? There are a lot of botched calls in every game every night. There were certainly other botched calls in this particular game that could have swung it either way (it was, after all, an overtime game, so even one additional free throw made in regulation by either team would have won it for them, or one fewer would have lost it). Do the league bigwigs think the statement will make Durant and the Thunder okay with the fact that they had a loss when they could have/should have had a win? "Oh, well, since the NBA recognizes it really was a foul, the fact that this loss drops us a spot or two in the playoff seedings really doesn't matter," they say. Was it intended to send a message to referees - sort of like a training exercise? If that's the case, why was it made public, and not just conveyed to the refs? Did they want to make the Jazz and Miles feel bad?

The only possible results from releasing the statement that I can see are: 1) it makes the Thunder angrier, 2) it de-legitimizes the playoff seeding of both the Jazz and the Thunder, and 3) it reduces everyone's - the players', the coaches', the fans', and the refs' - confidence in the refs' ability to get calls right. All three of those results are bad.

So even though it really was a foul, the NBA should have kept its mouth shut. Crying foul in this instance does nobody any good, and it does a lot of people a lot of harm.

Correction

2010-04-07T10:52:00.003-04:00

It's time for some revisionist history. Or, rather, for incorrect notions to be corrected. After thinking about my last post, bemoaning the fact that Shelly beat me at March Madness yet again, I decided to check the record.

In fact, Shelly has NOT beaten me at March Madness every single year since 2003. I beat her in 2008. Here is the evidence.

And frankly, I'm not so sure we filled out brackets in 2003 - we weren't living in the same city, and we were pretty caught up with realizing that we both liked each other. So Shelly's record, for the record, is 6-1, maybe 7-1. But she is not undefeated. Her current streak stands at two years. And next year, I'll get my second win.

The Streak Lives On

2010-04-06T10:57:00.004-04:00

Shelly and I started dating in early 2003. Every March since then we have each filled out an NCAA Tournament bracket. Every March since then Shelly has done better than me. Eight years and counting, and I can't beat my wife in March Madness.

This was the second year in a row it came down to a single game. If West Virginia had beaten Duke in the Final Four, I would have won. As it turned out, Shelly beat me by a mere 20 points - that's just two first-round games. I shouldn't have gotten caught up in BYU's best year in forever and picked them to win more than one game. I know better than that.

Shelly's strategy every year is to pick the winners according to seeding, and this year she was even more strict than usual. If I recall correctly, she picked only 3 upsets (defined as a worse seed beating a better seed) in the entire tournament, and they were all close ones - she picked a 3 over a 2 or something like that. She didn't pick a single upset in the entire first round. Her Final Four was the four 1-seeds.

Me, I just went with my gut. I wonder if next year I should do it her way, but just put one 2-seed into the Final Four and hope for the best...

A Great Weekend

2010-03-28T21:11:00.002-04:00

This past weekend was one of the best weekends I've had in a long time. There was a lot to do, and most of it was the kind of stuff that I don't get to do too often.

Friday night, I took Shelly to her first opera. We saw "Porgy and Bess," performed by the Washington National Opera at the Kennedy Center. I'm not sure how to describe it. Parts of it were so operatic that it would have fit in well with any old 19th-century European opera (other than the fact that it's in English (well, pidgin English) rather than Italian or German). But there were very jazzy and Gershwinny elements that stood out in stark contrast to the traditional operatic elements. It was very easy to see why it's such an important work of art, but when all was said (sung) and done, I think I'd rather see a good quality musical like "Les Miserables" again rather than "Porgy" again. It was just simply maybe a little too weird at times. But we had a great time.

Saturday morning we all went out to the National Kite Festival on the Mall. We've done this for several years in a row now, and we're finally to the point where we can give Ellie her kite (after getting it off the ground for her) and let her go with it. Annie was self-sufficient most of the time, but when her kite fell (the wind wasn't great), she would try to start wrapping up the string and get herself all wrapped up in it. "I tangled! I tangled!" she kept telling me.

From there we went up to the Building Museum for the Family Day activities of the National Cherry Blossom Festival (there are a lot of national festivals this week!). There were lots of free crafts and activities for the girls, and it was just fun to be with so many people having a great time in that gigantic, beautiful hall. The only thing I didn't like was that the activity that was sure to be the most popular - face painting - only had one lady painting faces carefully, beautifully (she mostly did cherry blossoms coming off of peoples' eyes), and most of all, SLOWLY. The line was just too long to brave.

After naptime, the big girls went off to the babysitting swap, and Shelly and I went back downtown to join up with the Utah State Society of Washington, DC, which was having a dinner at a nice restaurant across the street from the Verizon Center just before the Jazz game. Joining the society provided me and my family with a free dinner and access to tickets to the game that were about as much as I would have paid anyway, so it was worth it. We had some great food, met some new Utahns, and had fun.

Then I traded Shelly for my friend Aaron and his little boy, and we went to the game. Our seats were not great, but it was fun to be in the live atmosphere. As they were announcing the Wizards' starting lineup, I realized that I don't know anyone who still plays for the Wizards anymore - it seems everyone noteworthy on the team has been either traded or arrested in the last couple of months. Eventually I did recognize a couple of names, but they weren't much better than that other Washington basketball team, the Generals. The Jazz won handily. My favorite parts were 1) when Kyle Korver and Sundiata Gaines were featured on the "Kiss Cam," and Kyle goodnaturedly made a lunge at his teammate, and 2) when Carlos Boozer mistakenly thought the referee was on his team, and flung a pass to him (the ref had to dodge the ball to let it go out of bounds, but you have to admit, he had a wide-open three from where he was standing).

Beauty, the Beast, and Ellie

2010-02-21T20:01:00.004-05:00

From the fall of 1991 to the summer of 1992, I watched Disney's "Beauty and the Beast" nine times in the movie theaters.* Granted, most of those times were in the local dollar theater. But still. "Beauty and the Beast" has always been one of my very favorite movies of all time,** but I hadn't seen it for many long years until the other day during paternity leave when we pulled out our VHS copy and popped it in for Ellie and Annie.

The result: Ellie has launched herself into a full-fledged "Beauty and the Beast" obsession. She is constantly asking to watch it, but even more often, she is asking us to play the songs on the iPod over the stereo and dance to them, or else she's asking the whole family to participate in her role-playing reenactment of the movie.

"Daddy, I'll be Belle, you be the Beast, Annie will be Cogsworth, Mama will be Gaston, and Leah will be Chip," she'll say. Shelly was relieved when the grandparents came to visit the new baby in the last couple of weeks because she doesn't always get the role of Gaston when there are others to assign it to (of course, I think once she had to be LeFou). But when it comes down to it, the only person who has to really do anything in these role-plays is the Beast. That is, me. Usually, when Ellie tells me I need to be the Beast, I'll yell back in the Beast's voice, "I thought I told you to come down for dinner!" Or, if I don't feel like yelling (which always produces a laugh from both Ellie and Annie), "You... you came back!"

I'm finally able to put my detailed familiarity with that film to good use. In fact, yesterday Ellie and Annie and I were driving in the car, and Ellie asked me to actually sing the instrumental score during the part where Maurice (Belle's father) is being chased by wolves toward the Beast's castle. And wouldn't you know it - I can do that.

Most of all, Ellie's little obsession makes me proud of her for latching on to the most quality entertainment there is for a little person like her. I would much rather have her going around singing, "There goes the baker with his tray like always!"*** than singing some silly Dora song or something. Perhaps one day she'll be old enough to understand the themes of love, forgiveness, and personal change that the story explores, and she'll find new meaning in it. It's probably too much to hope that she recognize how dazzling the state-of-the-art animation techniques were for the time it was made (the swooping "camera" in the ballroom scene still gives me the shivers).

But my little girl is a Belle-o-phile and I am proud of it. In this day and age when Disney is agressively marketing its Princesses**** as a brand in and of themselves - a campaign to which Ellie has fallen victim - it's reassuring to know that Ellie's favorite is also the Disney heroine who has been my favorite right from the moment when I met her, saw her.

* I also saw it one more time the the theater in the IMAX re-release version in 2002.

** I remarked to my family the other day that perhaps one reason I fell in love with Shelly was because her long dark brown hair and big brown eyes reminded me of Belle. I was only half joking.

*** My senior year of high school, I was selected as my school's Sterling Scholar in music. This is a big program run by the state of Utah where high school seniors compete on their academic prowess in particular areas. During the interview with the judges, I was asked who was my favorite composer. Did I say Beethoven or Berlioz or Bach? No, I actually said, without much hesitation, "Alan Menken." I wonder if that had anything to do with the fact that I didn't win...

**** Of course, the Disney Princesses brand conveniently forgets that Belle is not a princess. She is born the poor daughter of an inventor in a provincial French village, and while she does learn to love (is that the same as "fall in love with"?) a Beast who turns out to be a prince, there is no evidence in the movie that they ever get married. Who knows - Belle and Beast (does he still go by the name "Beast" after transforming back into a human?) might have broken up a few weeks later. After all, I took a poll of my female friends in high school once, and they overwhelmingly said that they thought the Beast was better looking as a Beast than as a man. Even phyiscal attractiveness aside (the moral of the whole story, of course, being that we should put it aside), it's not a sure thing that their relationship can withstand returning to humdrum everyday life in a boring castle without anthropomorphic knicknacks. Belle does, in the end, "want adventure in the great wide somewhere," and when the enchantment on the Beast and his household is broken, I am not sure he is any less provincial and unadventurous than Belle's hometown.

A Late Christmas Present

2010-01-30T10:02:00.004-05:00

Part 1: Why I Love Bed Bath & Beyond

For Christmas, Shelly gave us all a new vacuum. That is, she wrapped up a piece of paper that said we should get a new vacuum. We do this kind of gift-giving a lot, especially on items (like a vacuum) that need a bit of research to determine the best brand and model to buy. So this month we've been doing a little bit of research, though most of the websites that allegedly review vacuum cleaners are pretty much useless. After some searching around, we were kind of feeling that the Dyson DC25 might be the best vacuum for us, but it was insanely expensive - usually over $500. But then I found that Dyson is currently making a limited edition model called the DC25 Blueprint, which is exactly the same except it's white-and-purple instead of charcoal-and-orange (that is, it's prettier), and it comes with an additional attachment designed to fit in the small spaces underneath couches and such. And I found that Bed Bath & Beyond was selling it online for $400.

Of course, the beauty of BBB (as we call it) is that they have these ubiquitous 20% off coupons, but the catch with them is that they can only be used in the store. If we ordered online, the total cost (including shipping) would be $430, but if we got it in the store, it would be $320 (still a steep price for a vacuum, but a very good one for one so nice).

So off I went to the local store, not really expecting them to have a limited edition vacuum in stock, but hoping that their legendary (at least in our family) customer service would somehow allow us to get the best available deal. Sure enough, they didn't have one in stock. So I asked a representative about it, and was told that they could order it for me, but they couldn't waive the shipping fee for the online order. But wait, another guy will come help you.

The other guy took me to a computer, and the first thing he did was go to dyson.com. He noted that although they sell the DC25 Blueprint for $530, they offer free shipping. Therefore, BBB would give me free shipping - they match their competitors. Then I asked if I could use my 20% off coupon. Sure, the guy said. I didn't explicitly mention the fact that the coupon states that it is not valid toward Dyson items, because BBB is so consistently lax in enforcing the restrictions on these coupons (i.e. expiration dates, one per customer per visit, etc.). So I was able to walk out of there with my $530 vacuum for $320 plus tax.

BBB has consistently been awesome to me and my family in situations like these. It started when we registered there for our wedding (they allowed us several discounts simply because we were registered, and gave us actual dollar bills when we returned stuff - even stuff that wasn't purchased there), and our admiration for their customer service continues to grow. We are loyal customers and always will be.

Part 2: The Vacuum

So the vacuum arrived the other day. While everyone was napping, I set it up and got it ready to go. It's quite a futuristic, cool-looking machine. And when you turn it on, it continues to amaze. There's a reason Dyson vacuums have such a good reputation, I guess. This thing picked up a disturbingly large amount of crud from our floors. It's the kind of thing that makes you think "And I've been letting my children crawl around on that?!" It's easy to maneuver. And best of all, the extend-o-reach wand makes it easy to clean things other than the floor. I've never really thought of a big vacuum cleaner as something that can be used on anything other than the floor, but I was cleaning cobwebs out of corners, lint off of bathroom air vents (I've never taken a vacuum into a bathroom before), and even dusting the tops of picture frames on the wall. We have no regrets about purchasing this incredible cleaning machine. It makes vacuuming so much fun, we (that is, me, Shelly, and Ellie) were fighting for taking turns with it. That bodes well - I think if vacuuming is fun, we're more likely to do it more often. In that way, even the pretty purple trim (Ellie's favorite feature) will contribute to keeping our house cleaner.

The Name: Leah Kyrie Astle

2010-01-24T20:24:00.003-05:00

I guess now that we have a new baby with a finalized name, I should complete my long and detailed documentation of how we decided on her name. Her name is Leah Kyrie Astle.

The middle name was decided first. I was pretty much decided on Kyrie months ago, from about the time I blogged about it here. I just couldn't think of another name that was as pretty and cool at the same time. Shelly made a halfhearted effort to keep the door open for some other middle name candidates - most notably Georgia - but in the end, she agreed that Kyrie was just the coolest name we could go with. There really wasn't much discussion about the middle name. A couple of days before the delivery, I think I said, "So are we going with Kyrie?" and Shelly said, "Sure."

Last I wrote, I noted that Mary had been eliminated, and we were down to a face-off between Leah and Kate. At that point, I was wracking my brain constantly trying to decide which of those two names I preferred. Each day - sometimes each hour - I would feel differently. I felt that they were both great names, actually quite different from each other, and I was really torn between them.

The night before the delivery, December 30, we dropped Ellie and Annie off at a friend's house to spend the night so we could get up early in the morning to go to the hospital. We left their house and went directly to the Uno Chicago Grill (I guess it's no longer known as Pizzeria Uno, since they serve other stuff too) in Kingstowne for dessert with the express purpose of not coming out of there until we had a name finalized. The Humanitarian Bowl was on the TVs over by the bar (you could tell by the blue turf), but our attention was focused on the task at hand.

First, we confirmed that it would be either Leah Kyrie Astle or Katherine Kyrie Astle. All other first-name choices were off the list, and Kyrie was the winner for the middle name.

We then each expressed our feelings for the names Leah and Kate. I basically said that I have been putting a lot of thought into this, and I can't decide between the two. Shelly basically said that she loves them both, but has a slight preference for Leah, because of its soft, smooth sounds.

I then said, "Well, OK, then it's Leah. I honestly don't have a preference, so let's go with your preference." And it was Leah. We finished our cookie sundae and went home, knowing our daughter's name.

The reaction to the name, as we have told people, has been pretty predictable - after all, we've been feeling people out about our name possibilities for a long time now. Everyone likes Leah and says it's a "beautiful name." (You have to say that once the baby is born, though, of course.)

The one surprise is that a couple of people have actually responded with: "How do you spell it?" We politely respond "L-E-A-H," but inside I want to say, "How many ways are there to spell Leah?" Leia is pronounced "Lay-a," as in Princess Leia. So is Lea, to the extent that's a real name at all. We're not going to be spelling it something odd like Lia or Leigha or Leeah. I had a friend in my law school days who spelled it Lija, but that's because of her Ukranian heritage. Leah is a major character in the Old Testament. There's only one real way to spell it. Sheesh.

And so far, only three people (my sister-in-law Liz (who actually said she was considering it for her daughters), an old friend from high school and college, and a lady in our ward) have grasped the significance of Kyrie without being told. We expected no different result. It's also no surprise that those three people have a common characteristic: they are all serious musicians. So that has turned out just as we planned.

Other Entertainment Consumption of 2009

2010-01-15T20:20:00.004-05:00

So I figured that, since I'm writing down all of the books I read and the movies I watch, I might as well keep track of other forms of entertainment consumption. I actually have been doing this for a year or two, though this is the first time I've reported it on my blog. I have kept track of stuff in a couple of different categories: TV, etc. (this doesn't include every TV show I watch, but rather only complete seasons or miniseries or groups of TV shows); live concerts; live plays; and live sporting events. I have ranked the entrants in each category, though the lists weren't very long. I note that all four of the plays I saw and four of the nine concerts I saw were free. I must either be a cheapskate or really good at finding bargains.

TV, etc.

1. The Office, Seasons One (2/25/09), Two (5/16/09), Three (7/2/09), Four (10/10/09), and Five (11/23/09). This was the year of The Office, which we turned to when access to Northern Exposure proved difficult. It has been a very enjoyable year getting to know the Dunder Mifflin crew (my favorite character is Creed - nearly every one of his infrequent lines make me bust a gut). I kind of liked the second and third seasons the best - when Pam and Jim were still just flirting without hope. We've also watched every episode of the sixth season that has been released to date, and this need to wait for new shows to come out has made me think back fondly to our West Wing run, where we were able to just watch it all the way through because it was over.

2. Planet Earth, Complete Series (2/6/09). A fascinating and beautifully filmed documentary series about nature and natural life. There are shots of things you've never seen before in a nature documentary, like a great white shark snatching a sea lion off the top of the water, and a whole family of snow leopards. Absolutely wonderful and enthralling.

3. John Adams, Complete HBO Miniseries (2/13/09). This miniseries, based on David McCullough's biography, was graphically real and completely compelling. It was amazing how accurate the sets were (I've visited Adams's house in Quincy, Mass.) and how well the roles were played (the guy who played Washington could have come straight off a one-dollar-bill). Once again it reminded me of the important role Adams played in the founding of our country.

4. Northern Exposure, Season One (1/1/09). I remember watching this show often back when it was on the air in the early 1990s. So I convinced Shelly to watch the first season with me once we finished The West Wing. we had to borrow it from a friend because even Blockbuster's online mail-order service doesn't have enough copies of it. It was fun to relive all the quirkiness and Alaskaness of the show. And there were a couple of times, when the themes became very mature, when I wondered why the high-school me liked it. I would like to continue watching later seasons of this show.

Plays

1. The Taming of the Shrew, Washington Shakespeare Theatre (9/7/09). I was a bit skeptical when I heard that they were moving the annual Shakespeare Free-For-All indoors, but wow, the new Shakespeare Theatre is awesome, and we didn't have to worry about mosquitoes. Plus, the production was excellent (Sondra Huxtable played Kate), and made my experience of reading the text really come alive. As I mentioned in my books post, I need to see more Shakespeare plays, and the Washington Shakespeare Theatre might be a good way to do it.

2. Ace of Hearts Magic, National Theatre (9/19/09). This was a free kids' performance at the National Theatre on a Saturday morning. I took Ellie and Annie via the Metro, and we had a really fun daddy-daughter-daughter date. The magician was more of a stand-up comedian for kids than he was a magician, but he did perform some pretty impressive illusions, and the sound of an entire audience full of kids just rollicking with laughter for an hour by itself made the experience worthwhile.

3. The Three Little Pigs, Burke Lake Park (7/25/09). This was a silly little puppet show at a state park. It was mildly funny, but the kids liked it and it was free, so no harm done.

Concerts

1. National Symphony Orchestra, Symphonie Fantastique et al, Kennedy Center (1/23/09). Fantastic. I have been a fan of Berlioz's masterwork for many years, but this was the first time I heard it live. The program contained other wonderful French music. I hope this will prove to be the first of many symphonic performances Shelly and I attend in coming years.

2. Baltimore Symphony Orchestra, Saint-Säens Organ Symphony et al, Strathmore Hall (2/19/09). The second symphonic performance didn't take too long in coming. The music was wonderful, but the real star was the concert hall. This was my first time in the BSO's Strathmore Hall in Bethesda, and I must admit that in choosing future symphonic performances, I might give Strathmore performances an unfair advantage. It's just a beautiful, beautiful space - the perfect setting for beautiful music.

3. BYU Ballroom Dance Ensemble, GWU Lisner Auditorium (5/20/09). Who knew that to see a BYU group perform, I'd have to go to GWU? The audience must have been at least two-thirds Mormon (I recognized a surprisingly large number of people), and they started with a prayer, so it felt like just being back in the DeJong Concert Hall. The dancers were, as expected, awesome. My favorite piece was danced to an instrumental version of "If You Could Hie to Kolob," where the dancers were dressed as stars twirling through space. I really felt the Spirit. I need to see more dance performances - it's a beautiful and moving art form when done well.

4. NSO Pops Holiday Concert, Kennedy Center (12/10/09). A Christmas tradition with me and Shelly. This year, more so than in past years, there were a lot of guest performances by everyone from a Howard University jazz choir to a pair of pre-teen ballroom dancers. It's getting to the point where it won't feel like Christmas until Marvin Hamlisch leads us in a singalong.

5. U.S. Air Force Band, DAR Constitution Hall (12/5/09). We took my mom to this free concert, which featured Christmas music from movies and musicals (a choice that I found a little disappointing, as it ruled out a lot of the familiar and wonderful Christmas music out there). I spent a lot of the time in the hall or the upper rows with a fitful Annie (it was way past her bedtime), but the music was fabulous.

6. Martinsburg Jazz Orchestra, Bluemont Concert Series, Winchester (7/17/09). A big band concert in the park during our romantic getaway to Winchester. It was fun to see the senior citizens who showed up, to recognize certain popular tunes, and most of all to decide that we wanted to get back to our hotel before the concert ended and to just barely make it inside before the skies opened up and it poured rain on everyone who stayed for the whole concert.

7. Merry TubaChristmas!, Kennedy Center Milennium Stage (12/14/09). Another rock-solid Christmas tradition. I'm getting to the point where I feel very familiar with the all-tuba arrangements of Christmas songs they do. The initial weirdness of hearing 300 tubas play has worn off on me, but it's one of the best evenings of the year.

8. National Concert Band of America, Mt. Vernon (7/4/09). We decided to spent the Fourth of July at Mount Vernon this year, and there was a free concert by a concert band on the lawn just before the daytime fireworks (which were, frankly, a bit underwhelming). The best part was Ellie getting up and dancing to the music in front of just about everyone (we were on the front row).

9. Fairfax Symphony Dixieland Band, Lake Accotink Park (6/26/09). There's a summer concert series put on by Fairfax County, and this was the only one we managed to make it to. We were expecting a military band (as that is what was announced), but this group of old codgers wasn't half bad. The girls got restless, so we got up and caught fireflies as the band swung on. That memory is precious.

Sporting Events

None. Yes, I went an entire year without seeing a live sporting event. I watched plenty on TV, but I guess either all my favorite teams play in Utah (the Jazz came to Washington in November 2008 and aren't due to return until March 2010), or I just like being able to fast-foward between football plays and during basketball foul shots.

The Movies of 2009

2010-01-10T20:39:00.004-05:00

And here is the list of all of the movies that I watched from start to finish during 2009, ranked in the order in which I liked them. My goal every year is to have more books than movies on my list, and I have usually met that goal. But never have I had such a large difference in the number of movies and books as I did in 2009. I read 33 books, but saw only 22 movies. The weird part about that is that the last movie I saw in 2009 was Cocoon, which I watched in September. (The reason for that is that Shelly and I used our Blockbuster mail-order rental subscription to get all the way up to date on "The Office" in the latter months of the year; I'll probably write another post about TV and live performances and other stuff I took in this year.)

I only saw two movies in the theater in 2009 (which is actually a very high number for me). I'm not sure if it's a coincidence or not that they are #1 and #2 on my list. I don't think I liked them more because I saw them in the theater; rather, I saw them in the theater because I knew I would like them. Most of the others were rented from Blockbuster, but a few (Cocoon, L.A. Story, and Butch Cassidy) were recorded from TV and one (The Very Unlucky Leprechaun) was at the annual Campbell Family St. Patrick's Day Party. Only one (L.A. Story) had I ever seen before.

The only other general comment is that when I was ranking these movies, I was surprised at how far down the list I still thought they were really good movies. I guess I did a good job of picking a limited number of movies that I knew I would like. Only the bottom four or so would I actually consider "bad" movies.

1. Up (6/13/09). Not only did I see it in the theater, I saw it in 3-D (the first feature film I've ever seen that way). The 3-D was nice, but it was Pixar's consistently high-quality storytelling, characters, and plot that made this the best movie of the year for me. I didn't love Up as much as The Incredibles or Wall-E, but it's clear to me that if it's a Pixar movie, it's probably the best one of the year.

2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (7/17/09). Shelly and I saw this one on a whim while on our romantic getaway in Winchester, Virginia. Definitely the best yet of the Potter series. As we discussed it afterwards, I couldn't think of a single thing I would do to make it better. It captured the spirit and action of the book precisely, without being bogged down with too much booky detail.

3. Cocoon (9/21/09). I guess I don't consider this to be a "great" film like I consider all Pixar films to be. I realize that it probably won't show up in the top five for other people who watched it this year. But for me, I had a very personal and even somewhat spiritual reaction to the themes of this movie about aging and dying that made it precious to me. This is my list, so it ranks very high.

4. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (2/23/09). Amy Adams is fast becoming one of my favorite actresses. Not only is she stunning, she is stunningly fun to watch. And the story here was also fun and quirky. So, yeah. This was a very fun movie.

5. Gone With the Wind (8/22/09). The book is Number One on my all-time list; the movie was great, but doesn't quite rank so high. I was actually surprised at how much of the action in the voluminous text was able to make it into the film (and I approved of the decisions to leave various things out). The movie characters weren't quite as extreme as the book characters, but the stunning visuals had me constantly reminding myself: "This was made in nineteen-freaking-thirty-nine!"

6. Duplicity (8/28/09). An unexpected delight. When Shelly picked it up, I thought it wouldn't be that great. But I found it to be smart and interesting, and I was thinking about it for days. The title sequence featuring the slo-mo fistfight between rival CEOs alone is worth checking it out for.

7. The Dark Knight (3/9/09). It was hard to rank this movie on my list, because it's so different from all of the other movies on the list. Dark, brooding, and scary, yes. But I don't know if any other film I saw this year succeeded so well at producing the intended emotions in me.

8. L.A. Story (3/7/09). I love vintage Steve Martin. This isn't his best work (My Blue Heaven is, in my humble opinion), but it's close. It's rare that a film can contain such social satire and then throw in such outright wackiness and get away with it.

9. Coraline (9/15/09). Another movie that was hard to rank because of its uniqueness. The stop-motion animation was superb and I think really added to the feel of the movie - it wouldn't have been as good had it been live-action or a regular cartoon. I particularly enjoyed Teri Hatcher as the Other Mother, and I must brag that I recognized John Linnell's voice (from They Might Be Giants) in the Other Father's musical number immediately. I must be a freak.

10. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (6/6/09). Now I understand what all the fuss is about. I think this is supposed to have been one of the first movies where you're supposed to root for the bad guys (the Ku Klux Klan scene in Birth of a Nation notwithstanding), and boy howdy was I rooting for them. I loved the finale.

11. Man on Wire (4/17/09). Once upon a time, there was this crazy (and I mean CRAZY) French dude. When he heard, back in the 1970s, that they were building the twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City, the only thing he could think of was stretching a tightrope between them and walking across it. He'd done it to the towers of the Cathedral of Notre Dame, the Sydney Harbor Bridge, and other crazy places, but this was his Everest. This movie is a documentary, featuring original footage from the 70s (he and his friends, fortunately, loved to film themselves) and modern-day interviews with the crazy French dude (he didn't fall!) and his associates. Because they had to break in to the towers, it feels more like a bank heist movie than anything else. So weird it has to be true.

12. Knowing (8/17/09). Okay, I actually kind of like Nicholas Cage in this kind of movie. He's just off his rocker enough to be enjoyable in a laugh-at-him sort of way, but not so much as to make it a bad movie. In this case, the movie got much better after I sat and thought about it for a couple of days.

13. He’s Just Not That Into You (6/29/09). I liked the idea of the big ensemble cast experiencing all sorts of dating and relationship trauma, even though they didn't always relate to each other. I liked the idea of the guy giving advice to the girl about what guys are thinking. But in the end, I kind of ended up a little unsatisfied, though I don't really know why. Maybe it was the adultery subplot, though I guess that's just one more way in which he may just not be that into you.

14. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) (5/28/09). When the Keanu Reeves remake came out, I decided to see the original, which was touted as a landmark science fiction film. I bet it was more groundbreaking fifty years ago than it seems now. One of my favorite bits was seeing shots of 1950s Washington DC.

15. Meet the Robinsons (1/31/09). An utterly harmless and forgettable feature, epitomizing the recent decline of the Disney animation studio, except for one thing: that recurring "I have tiny little arms" joke made me bust a gut every time.

16. Dan in Real Life (7/25/09). This movie was probably better in theory than it was in execution. Michael Scott goes to a family reunion and meets a girl in the neighborhood whom he really likes, only to discover that she's his brother's new girlfriend. It started out all right, but it developed in unrealistic ways, which just spoiled it for me (and it could have used a more compelling female lead).

17. Twilight (4/1/09). There was a time when I was considering reading the Twilight books. But after Shelly read them and described the writing style to me, I decided I would pass. Therefore, I consider it my American duty to see the movies (on DVD, long after they are released, of course), so that I can understand my own culture. It was all right, but I didn't really like the way Stephenie Meyer seems to be messing with the nature of vampires. Bram Stoker is rolling in his grave.

18. Marley and Me (5/4/09). It was a decent little book, and it was a decent little movie. The dog was cute, the situtations were amusing, and the ending was maudlin enough to tug a little at my heartstrings. But it didn't seem to really have a point. Kind of like the book.

19. Bride Wars (8/11/09). Now we get to the bad movies. Even Anne Hathaway's radiant presence couldn't save this wreck. Who enjoys this kind of stuff? Both of the protagonists were heartless, mean jerks and I wanted them both to get punched in the face and dumped by their respective fiances.

20. Swing Vote (7/8/09). Speaking of lead characters who are icky, icky people, I thought this would be a funny commentary on the political process. But as I watched it, I wanted Kevin Costner's character to not only get punched in the face and dumped by his too-cute, too-smart daughter, but to get deported somewhere very far away for being such an idiot.

21. Mamma Mia! (1/9/09). The badness in this one wasn't in the stupid characters so much as it was in the writers' inability to make a coherent movie altogether. Sure, it's fun to hear your favorite ABBA songs, but sometimes it was like they just spun a wheel to decide what song would be sung next. Immediately after saying that she's not looking for a rich guy, Meryl Streep sings "Money, Money, Money." After her friend has been established as not needing a man ever in her life, she nudges a guy and starts singing "Take a Chance on Me." I could hear my IQ points fizzling away to the beat of the music.

22. A Very Unlucky Leprechaun (3/14/09). Poor Campbells. Every year they invite us to their St. Patrick's Day party, and they try very hard to find a new St. Patrick's Day movie to show us all. I applaud their efforts. Darby O'Gill a couple of years ago wasn't bad. But there are only so many leprechaun movies, and this one was just laughably bad.

The Books of 2009

2010-01-08T12:04:00.009-05:00

It's now been five years that I've been keeping track of every book I read and every movie I watch, with the goal of more books than movies over the course of the year. Reading, particularly, has developed into my most serious hobby (perhaps unless following college football counts as a hobby). The books I read are a big part of who I am, so I see this annual list as not only a record of what I've been doing with my time over the year, but also a record of what I'm interested in and what I value - especially when you rank the books.

Here is the list of the books that I read from start to finish this year, ranked in the order in which I liked them (the order - especially in the middle - is somewhat mooshy, but the first three are firm, and there is a huge gap between #1 and #2, and between #3 and #4).

1. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell (8/6/09). I stand by my assessment that not only is Gone With the Wind the best book I read in 2009, it's the best book I've ever read. Thoroughly engrossing, meticulously written, expertly paced, and filled with vibrant - if not particularly virutous - characters, this is without a doubt a true masterpiece in literature. I'm not going to go around like some Southerners apparently do putting Gone With the Wind next to the Bible on the coffee table, but reading this book is an experience I will carry with me for years and years to come. I will certainly re-read it many times, and for a guy like me, who is loath to re-read anything, that's the highest compliment I can pay.

2. The Two-Income Trap by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi (3/12/09). The second-best book I read this year is completely different. Elizabeth Warren is a professor at Harvard Law School whom I never had or even met, but I wish I had known her. This book, co-written with her daughter, is a very thoughtful exploration of the dynamics of modern family economics, focusing particularly on the benefits and drawbacks of having two wage-earners in the family. Though published in 2003, when I read it in early 2009, it related and almost predicted chillingly well the financial crisis of late 2008. I recommend it to any family.

3. Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin (10/11/09). If Gone With the Wind brought the Civil War alive to me through fictitious characters set in real situations, Team of Rivals brought it to life through pure scholarly research and history. Cast as a "group biography" of Lincoln and several of his cabinet members, its themes dealt with how Lincoln rose to power and how he maintained himself and the country during the war by listening to everyone's different views and then striking - and sticking to - his own course. I gained a lot of important insights about the people and events of that era.

4. Scalia Dissents ed. Kevin A. Ring (9/2/09). Most lawyers (and many others) know that Antonin Scalia is widely regarded as the best writer on the Supreme Court, and that he often disagrees with his colleagues on hot-button cases. This book is a collection of some of his most famous and most passionate dissenting opinions - which, as it turns out, are some of his most well-known opinions of any stripe. Scalia had me laughing at points and nearly always agreeing with him (he's that persuasive), but the downer was that when you read only his dissents, you come away with a sense that the majority opinons he's opposing are leading the country down the toilet.

5. The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins (1/31/09). This 1868 novel is widely regarded as the very first English-language detective novel. It's the story of an aristocratic girl who receives and loses a precious diamond amid mysterious circumstances. It ranks highly on this list because of its intriguing characters, plot twists, and (I must admit) the fabulous voice readings by several different actors in the audiobook version I listened to -the only audiobook I've ever heard with more than one voice.

6. Doubt by John Patrick Shanley (10/12/09). One of two plays I read this year, and one of two books I started and finished on the same day. It's a short and poignant story about a Catholic prep school dealing with why we believe things and why we doubt things. The central question, of course, is never resolved - allowing us to decide if we believe it or doubt it. I look forward to seeing the movie version.

7. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell (3/3/09). I'm surprised I ranked this book as highly as I did. Upon finishing it, I declared that I wasn't convinced by Gladwell's arguments and that this book falls far short of the high bar he set with his other books, which I loved. But, as I also admitted at the time, he's such a good writer, I really enjoyed reading the book, and I'd recommend it.

8. Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (8/24/09). So I wanted to read a graphic novel before I died. I had heard that this was widely regarded as one of the best of the genre, so I checked it out. Shelly and I engaged in the age-old argument: "You're reading a comic book?" "No, it's a graphic novel!" But when it comes down to it, I really enjoyed the experience. The pictures - call them what you want - added to the story in a way that text alone could never do. I can see how this was one of the most influential superhero stories in modern times - even "The Incredibles" owes a lot to it.

9. The Nine by Jeffrey Toobin (11/23/09). A detailed and fascinating look at the Supreme Court from about the appointment of Rehnquist as Chief to the first term with Alito on board. I enjoyed the insider details about many cases I've learned about - and even cited - but I could have done without the blatant editorializing about how Bush v. Gore was an embarassment to all that is just and holy.

10. Free by Chris Anderson (~8/15/09). I was excited to read this book ever since I heard Anderson on an EconTalk podcast. He explores the various ways "free" is used in the modern economy, and how to make free profitable for businesses of all different types. I thought it was more insightful than his previous book, The Long Tail, which was little more than an extended magazine article. And, of course, I got the book in both PDF and audiobook format soon after it was released - for free.

11. Kiln People by David Brin (12/14/09). This was a surprisingly good science fiction novel about a future world where people can make disposable 24-hour clay copies of themselves and then inload the "dittos'" memories. Good sci-fi has an interesting premise like that one, and then deals with it realistically. My only gripe is that it got a little too existential toward the end.

12. The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway (2/9/09). Short, simple, and interesting. It's clear why this is considered one of the masterpieces of literature. It's just not as gripping as other books may be.

13. Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie (2/25/09). I probably would have gotten more out of this classic had I read it in text form rather than listened to it on audiobook. But what surprised me - and what came across loud and clear - was how violent the book is. Peter Pan has no compunctions about killing pirates just for fun. I don't think I'll read it to my kids anytime soon.

14. Reading the OED by Ammon Shea (8/19/09). So this guy decided to actually read the Oxford English Dictionary (21,730 pages in 20 volumes) cover to cover in a year. This book documents 1) his experience, and 2) some crazy words he discovered along the way. The latter is more interesting than the former. As Shea puts it, although you can't really add most of these odd words to your vocabulary and start using them every day, there's something reassuring - or in some cases disturbing - about knowing that there actually is a specific word out there for certain things.

15. 1491 by Charles C. Mann (6/29/09). A historical/scientific study of pre-Columbian American Indian populations, arguing that their civilizations were larger, more advanced, more complex, and more ancient than has traditionally been thought. I enjoyed the historical stories, such as the conquest of the Aztecs, more than the anthropological narrative, like the long section discussing the players involved in the research of when the first permanent native civilizations were founded.

16. Snow Falling on Cedars by David Guterson (5/21/09). I couldn't say whether to categorize this quiet and thoughtful novel as a murder mystery or a romance. It's a bit of both, concerning the Japanese-American community in a Washington fishing village around the time of World War II. I don't know how the title relates much to the happenings in the story (except that it's snowing much of the time), but it is a good poetic description of the soft, wistful feeling you get when reading it.

17. Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams (6/2/09). This book has been on my "to-read" list for nearly twenty years, if not more, and I finally read it for the first time this summer. Given my teenage love for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, it's only natural that I'd want to read up on Adams's other principal creation, a private investigator who is pretty much, as they say in Britain, mad. It was an enjoyable read, but I prefer Hitchhiker's.

18. The Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare (9/5/09). I think I'll make it a goal to read at least one Shakespeare play a year for the rest of my life. You can't go wrong with Shakespeare, even if his works aren't the most compelling things on this list. Having read the play just before Shelly and I went to see it, of course, made the performance more meaningful. Really what I should do is try to see more Shakespeare plays. After all, he didn't mean for them to be just read.

19. Rebuilt: How Becoming Part Computer Made Me More Human by Michael Chorost (5/27/09). This is a fascinating personal memoir of a guy who loses his hearing and then gains it back through a device in his ear called a cochlear implant. He insists throughout (to the point of annoyingness) that he is a cyborg - part human, part robot - because his senses are moderated by a computer. I found it interesting just for the insights it gives into the biological function of hearing as well as the cultural trappings of deafness. For example, he claims that as Yiddish is the best language for rendering insults, American Sign Language is the best language for telling stories.

20. Big Cotton by Stephen Yafa (~5/5/09). This is one of those books I like so much that focuses on an important but often overlooked or taken-for-granted element of society and history. Yes, we all know the cotton industry was part of the reasons for the Civil War, but this book goes much further than that, to the point of explaining the different weaves of fabric that can be used in denim.

21. East of Eden by John Steinbeck (1/21/09). I don't think even Voldemort or Sauron compare with Cathy Trask in terms of the most sheerly evil character I've ever come across in fiction. I caught the Genesis parallels, but besides the fact that they were too few and far between, I can't stomach the Eve figure being the embodiment of evil.

22. The Believing Heart by Bruce C. Hafen (8/16/09). A small but very good treatise about the way faith can work in your life. I should read the subsequent books in the series. I should read more LDS titles. I should re-read this one, because the reason I ranked it so low is primarily because I don't remember (and therefore can't implement) its teachings very well.

23. I Am America (And So Can You!) by Stephen Colbert (11/11/09). Have you ever watched the Colbert Report? This book is the print form of that TV show. I feel the same way about it as I do about the show: every now and then, there were some very hilarious laughs, but overall, it felt like it was merely trying (very hard) to be funny without success.

24. Pure Drivel by Steve Martin (8/29/09). This is the other book I read in one day. Steve Martin is a good author. This collection of short stories is haphazard - some were great, some were meh.

25. Grimm’s Fairy Tales by Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm (8/24/09). I had to go through my own copy of these classic fairy tales with a pen, checking off each story that I felt would be actually appropriate to read to children. I think I selected a minority of them. But what really suprised me about the fairy tales wasn't their violence (I expected that); it was their sheer randomness. For example, the hero of a story may be told by a dwarf on the side of the road that if he picks an apple from a certain tree he will be able to pull a sword out of his ear that can produce a full table of food if waved over your left shoulder. Also, there are just too many tales.

26. Red Prophet by Orson Scott Card (2/23/09). William Henry Harrison as an evil villain? Awesome. But I'm less enthused about finishing this Alvin Maker series than I was when I started last year. I used to be a big Card fan, but the last few books of his I've read have been somewhat disappointing. Maybe I should just re-read Ender's Game.

27. The Great American Bathroom Reader by Mark B. Charlton (8/12/09). It took many, many months and dozens upon dozens of (ahem) sittings to finish this book, a random collection of factoids and trivia to while away the time while you're, um, indisposed. I read each word of it just as it was meant to be read. And I even used a piece of (clean) toiletpaper as a bookmark.

28. Einstein’s Dreams by Alan Lightman (~4/21/09). This was an attempt to infuse Einstein's ideas of physics with poetry and drama, imagining them as dreams had by the bushy-haired genius. It was a nice concept, but I bet it sounded better in theory than it came out.

29. Into Africa by Martin Dugard (7/2/09). Now I know what all the fuss around "Doctor Livingstone, I presume?" is about. But I wasn't totally enthralled by either Livingstone's or Stanley's stories.

30. The Good Father by Mark O’Connell (10/21/09). I was looking for a good parenting book as I prepared for my third daughter. The central message here seemed to be that you should exercise your authority over your children as a father, because they need to learn from that. Good advice, I guess, but not exactly what was looking for.

31. The Non-Designer’s Design Book by Robin Williams (1/10/09). No, not that Robin Williams. There wasn't anything particularly wrong with this book that made me rank it so low. I just read it quickly to get some ideas for designing the layout of my Mission Book. It helped with that. But it's more of a textbook - or at least an instructional book - than a book you actually read.

32. The Undercover Economist by Tim Harford (??). This book was so forgettable that I forgot that I even read it. Even when Shelly independently checked it out from the library months later (I guess it has an intriguing cover), I had to flip through it and recognize some of the passages before I realized - hey, didn't I read this already?

33. The Progress Paradox by Gregg Easterbrook (7/16/09). An unconvincing and somewhat patronizing look at why people are less happy now than they used to be, despite our increased prosperity. Frankly, I'm not sure I buy the premise. I'm pretty happy. I'm pretty sure I'm happier than my pioneer ancestors were. Heck, I have a blog and they didn't.

Happy New Decade!

2010-01-01T20:10:00.003-05:00

Leah and I wish everyone a very happy 2010. From what she saw of 2009, she thinks that 2010 is way better.

Announcing Leah

2009-12-31T20:27:00.004-05:00

I am proud to announce that our third daughter, Leah Kyrie Astle, came into the world this morning at 8:02 am, just in time to take a good look at the year 2009 before taking a nap until 2010. She weighed in at 8 pounds 10 ounces (a little bigger than Ellie, and still more than half a pound smaller than Annie) and measured 20 inches. She and Shelly are both doing very well and are resting at the hospital, while the girls (I guess I should call them the "big girls" now) and I are home.

It's actually a very boring birth story. We showed up at the hospital around 5:45 am, they got us ready, we waited around a little bit, and then they took us in to the operating room. It took about seven minutes from the time they started cutting to the time we could hear Leah crying. It took a bit longer than that to get Shelly sewn back up.

Leah is a quiet, tired girl. She has spent most of the day sleeping. Shelly has too, for that matter. We think she looks a little more like Ellie than like Annie - she has Ellie's somewhat broader nose. But she hasn't really opened her eyes up very much to let us see what's in there. We'll find out soon enough.

I am grateful tonight not just for a wonderful year which is passing away, but most of all for a wonderful family which continues to grow. I love my girls. All four of them now.

'Twas the Night Before

2009-12-30T21:47:00.002-05:00

Everything is ready. Ellie and Annie are at our friends the Rosenbergs' house, excited for a sleepover. The hospital bag is packed. A rotating lineup of babysitters has been arranged. The new room is decorated and stocked with clothes and burp cloths and diapers. And yes, Shelly and I sat down this evening over dessert at a restaurant and picked a name. Everything is ready.

Tomorrow morning we will get up at some unearthly hour and head for the Alexandria Hospital. We are supposed to check in by about 5:30am for the 7:30 surgery. Hopefully everything will go just as smoothly as Annie's birth did. It's really a fairly painless process, these scheduled C-sections. I'll spend the morning with Shelly and the baby, get the girls for their nap time/quiet time, and then drop them off with someone else so I can get back to the hospital. That's pretty much going to be the schedule for the next four days or so.

Just like the night before Annie was born, this evening as we were preparing the girls for their sleepover, I was washed over with a very strong sense of emotion and love for my family. My girls - all four of them now - are my reason for just about everything I do. I stopped Ellie and Annie individually to give them a special hug and tell them how much I love them. I am excited to feel that same way about another child.

Ellie is really excited for the baby. She keeps talking about when "the little cutie" is going to come home. Annie, on the other hand, isn't quite as clued in to what is going on, but perhaps she understands more than she lets on. She certainly knows there's a baby in Mama's tummy, and we've been talking a lot this week about how that baby is about to come out of the tummy. Actually, I think the hardest part of this whole thing for both girls is going to be going four days without seeing their Mama. The hospital has restricted visitors to adults only because of swine flu fears. So although I'll be with them a couple of times a day while Shelly's in the hospital, they won't see her - nor will they get to meet their new sister - till she's discharged Sunday night or Monday morning. They have never been away from Shelly for this long. I hope they'll be okay.

Shelly has been sick this past week with a cold virus, but she's just about over it. Enough, I think, that they won't have to follow through with their threat of postponing the delivery at all. In fact, I'm the one who is sniffling and losing my voice now. I just want to be able to talk tomorrow, so I can make all the necessary phone calls.

I'll post a birth announcement here tomorrow night or New Year's morning. Wish us luck - and in the meantime, have a happy new year!

The Name: We're Getting Close

2009-12-26T22:44:00.003-05:00

With the baby set to arrive on Thursday December 31, we still haven't decided on a name. You'd think that with all the thought we allegedly put into this process, we'd have come up with a winner by now. But we haven't.

However, there is news to report. Mary is officially off the list. We're down to a face-off between Leah and Kate. Surprisingly, it was me who voted Mary down. I had been pushing it from day one as a lovely name that has a lot of classic appeal, but I think in the end Mary was a victim of this very open naming process. We've been telling people what we're thinking, and asking for feedback, and frankly, Mary hasn't done too well in the public opinion we've heard. It's not that anyone says they hate the name, but it just has seemed a bit lackluster. Maybe people are still sick of it from the time a hundred years ago when like three percent of all girl babies were named Mary. I stand by my opinion that Mary is one of the greatest names out there. But I'm not going to give it to my daughter.

Our daughter will be either Leah or Kate. I still think Leah is the frontrunner, but I admitted to Shelly the other day that when I visualize the future and talking to my third daughter, her name is generally Kate. Mabe that's Ellie's influence. Surely Ellie has had some influence in my ever-growing esteem of the name Kate.

At this point, I think I could go either way and be happy. I think Shelly feels the same way - her stated preference for Leah, she has told me, is a mere slight preference, not a deal-breaker attachment. Stay tuned - the next name post might just have to end up taking the form of a birth announcement!

The Postseason Post

2009-12-17T21:52:00.002-05:00

It's time for a college football blog post. The regular season is over, and the bowls have yet to start. It's time to evaluate how the season went, and how badly the postseason messed things up.

BYU's 2009 Season
First off, as a BYU fan, I have to be honest with myself and say that I'm pleased with the Cougars' 10-2 record for the fourth year in a row. There are those out there who won't be satisfied with anything less than 12-0 and a BCS bowl game, but I guess I'm more of a realist than that. I'm satisfied with being ranked at all at the end of the season. And I'm happy that they beat then-#3 Oklahoma. Boy am I happy about that. After all, BYU is a school, and it's a school with a special mission. The mission doesn't require winning every single football game. And this year's BYU Bowl - er, Las Vegas Bowl - opponent, Oregon State, is probably the best team we've ever faced there. Just think - only six more years and BYU might have the chance to play every Pac-10 team in the Las Vegas Bowl.

We're looking forward to going to see the Cougs play in Talahassee next September.

Two Observations about the Mountain West
1. This is the sixth year in a row where the conference champion went undefeated in conference. Utah did it in 2004, TCU in 2005, BYU in 2006 and 2007, Utah in 2008, and TCU in 2009. Sounds like BYU is ready to do it again in 2010 and 2011.

2. If you take a look at the final conference standings, you'll see something interesting. No two teams have the same conference record - they go from 8-0 all the way down to 0-8. Each team lost to every team above it and beat every team below it.

BCS Selections
Okay, now on to the postseason. I've said before that althoug I'd prefer a playoff, I'd be happy if they just did away with the automatic berths for particular conference champions. They should just give automatic bids to the top six conference champions according to the final BCS rankings. Last year, for example, Boise State was the sixth-highest-ranked conference champion, and it got left out.

Well, guess what? It got done right this year. The top six champions are Alabama, Texas, Cincinnati, TCU, Boise State, and Oregon. Those teams are all playing in BCS bowls. In fact, this is the first year that I can recall (and I'm too lazy to look it up to see if I'm right) that the ten teams in the five BCS games are actually ranked #1 through #10. So I guess I should be pretty happy about that.

Fiesta Bowl Matchup
Of course, I'm on the side of the people who think that it's a shame Boise State and TCU are playing each other in the Fiesta Bowl. Yes, I realize that it will be a better game than Boise State-Iowa or TCU-Georgia Tech, which I was expecting, and it's a more worthy opponent for each team, and they're treating the teams like equals (sort of). But here's the problem: one of them has to lose the game. Yes, TCU can indeed prove more by beating Boise State than it could by beating Georgia Tech. It's possible the winner of the BSU-TCU game will end up ranked #2, just like Utah last year. But the problem is that the loser will be forgotten and will drop like a stone in the rankings. Say TCU wins (as I expect they will). Boise will be discarded and people will still say "they didn't beat anyone except a fluke of a game against Oregon." I don't know which team to cheer for. I'm an unabashed Mountain West Conference fan, but I've also been on the Boise State Bandwagon for a long, long time. I really was looking forward to watching two different BCS games and watching the "underdogs" beat up on the "big boys" (even if the underdogs were ranked higher).

The thing is, we all have to watch this game. We need to show the Powers That Be that these smaller, non-tradition-rich schools can draw an audience. That's the main reason they don't get the credit and respect they deserve, especially in the postseason, where it really is all about money.

Playoff
Of course, all these problems could be solved if they would just implement a playoff. My ideal playoff scenario would be a 16-team field involving all 11 conference champions and 5 at-large teams, very similar to the scenario outlined by Dan Wetzel in this article. Yes, as he points out, there might be a little controversy as to whether LSU is better than BYU, but even as a BYU fan, I can accept his selection of LSU and be happy because I know that neither of those teams is likely to make it through the playoff. (Actually, I think I would support a 2-team-per-conference limit, which would put BYU, not LSU, into the playoff). What's not to love about this plan? As it is, we could end up with as many as three unbeaten teams. Which one of them is the best? We'll never know.

Tubachristmas

2009-12-15T11:34:00.004-05:00

Last night we went to the Kennedy Center as a family for what has become a true Astle Christmas Tradition: the Merry Tubachristmas concert. Shelly and I have both talked about it before on our blogs in past years - it's a rare chance to hear about 350 tubas play Christmas carols while your toes pick up the vibrations on the floor. It's a pure analog joy to listen to, even if the music quality isn't great (they've only rehearsed for an hour, they are of all sorts of skill levels, and there are just so many of them it's hard to keep them all together).

This year Ellie decided she wanted to go up to the front to sing "Jingle Bells" with the tubas - they invite kids up every year. And so I went to the Kennedy Center website this morning to see if she got on camera (they archive video of each day's free concert), and lo and behold, she did! Here she is in her favorite "Big Sister" shirt, singing along with the tubas like she belongs there.

And amazingly, during that song they panned the audience and caught the rest of the family straining to get a glimpse of Ellie. The cameraman sure had a better view of her than we did.

The Name: The Finalists

2009-12-14T21:46:00.003-05:00

We're down to three names: Leah, Mary, and Kate.

Shelly and I had a few conversations a little while ago, and we both agreed that while the eight names we had on our list are all wonderful, we both kind of realized that it was going to be either Leah, Mary, or Kate. I say "a few conversations," because it seems like this development dawned on us slowly, each of us gradually realizing that such-and-such a name was not going to make the cut. Leah, Mary, and Kate were the top three names in our quantified list that I described recently, and they were the clear-cut favorites.

Also, interestingly, we both find ourselves referring to them not in alphabetical order, as we have tried to do throughout this process, but in order of the points they got in that quanitification exercise: Leah, then Mary, then Kate. I think this has somewhat subconsciously led us to the conclusion that this might be the final placing.

Ellie is still doing her thing with Kate, urging us over and over to choose that name, and refusing to believe that there are other possibilities out there. Usually she's been kind of demanding, but Shelly just told me that today she said softly, "Mama, when you and Daddy decide on the baby's name, could you please pick Kate? I really want her to be named Kate." Shelly said that when she puts it like that, she's really hard to refuse. And overall, Ellie has actually kind of warmed me up to the idea, contrary to what I had expected. I like Kate because it sounds different from Ellie and Annie - it's got a couple of hard consonants and a bright vowel, and it's short and sharp. But its disadvantages are that it is very similar to Ellie and Annie in that the given name, Katherine, would be different from what we actually call her, and there's always the looming possibility that the name will lapse into Katie, which is just another -ie name to add to the list. One evening, I realized during a conversation with Shelly that I kind of want this child's name to be different from my other two daughters' names, and with the Katherine and Katie angles, I'm beginning to feel that Kate just may not make the grade.

Mary has been a name that I've been thinking about for a long time, and frankly I'm surprised that I've been as persuasive about it with Shelly as I have been. I like its old-fashioned bona fides, and I like its simplicity and plainness (just like Jane). It also is the only one of the three names left on the list that has any meaning, as the name would definitely evoke for me the mother of Jesus, even if my daughter isn't directly and explicitly "named after" her. But in the way of disadvantages, Mary is very similar to the sounds of Ellie and Annie, even if it does end with a -y instead of an -ie. I just have a hard time picturing myself saying, "These are my daughters: Ellie, Annie, and Mary." And to the extent we have solicited feedback, the attitudes of other people about Mary have been decidedly lukewarm. My mom has come out and said she in fact doesn't like it, because it's so common and plain. (Of course, for our daughter's generation, it won't be nearly so common as the name of our new neice Isabelle.) I don't think anyone has said that, among the final three, Mary is their favorite. Not that popular opinion should rule the day, but it does say something that this name is not inspiring much praise.

Leah, on the other hand, has received almost universal high marks from people we've asked. Some have said they prefer Kate, but all agree that Leah is a wonderful, beautiful name. It has the advantage of being a given name that we will actually use in day-to-day life, it doesn't have any -ie forms, and it's somewhat different in form from my other girls' names (though I have half-joked to Shelly that Leah is just Ellie with the syllables reversed). Shelly has commented more than once that she likes how it's different from our other girls' names but still fits with them stylistically. And I must admit that the name doesn't really have any distinct disadvantages other than the fact that I haven't been in love with it for a very long time like I was with Annie and am with Jane and Mary. Of course, I wasn't in love with Ellie, either, but now I can't imagine my girl being called anything else.

It's come to the point that the other day Shelly - kind of out of the blue, as we weren't having a conversation about it - indicated that she's ready to cast her vote for Leah.

That was a shrewd move by Shelly if she really wants that name, because it gives Leah a decided advantage. Shelly's statement has caused me to start really imagining my daughter with the name Leah in a way I haven't done before. Shelly pointed out, rightly, that we both really like all three of the names, and whichever one we choose is going to be great, and we'll love it and we'll love the girl it's attached to. We just need to decide, she said. And she chose Leah.

I haven't cast my vote yet, but I don't think I'm going to choose Kate (sorry, Ellie). But perhaps even more tellingly, I don't think I'm going to go to the trouble of fighting for Mary. I really like all of these names. And so does Shelly.

It really is getting to the point where we just have to pick one. So should we pick Kate (Ellie's first choice), Mary (mine) or Leah (Shelly's)?

The Name: Ranking the Eight

2009-11-16T20:29:00.003-05:00

We've been sitting on our list of eight finalists for a long time now. We can both rattle them off pretty quickly (in alphabetical order) when people ask what names we're thinking of: Jane, Julia, Katherine, Leah, Maria, Mary, Rachel, Sarah. We tell people and sometimes they give feedback. It is actually surprising how little feedback we get, though - I guess some people are afraid of saying they don't like one of the names we obviously do like, or else they don't want to sway the process by expressing outright partisanship in favor of a name they do like. Or, more likely, they're ambivalent about all eight names and really don't have anything to say while they're thinking, "Gosh, those are boring - how about something exciting like Brooklyn?" To which I say: "Brooklyn is a place, not a girl."

But even among Shelly and me, we didn't have much luck narrowing the list down. I started to express my lack of enthusiasm for Maria on this blog, and Shelly has made her non-support of Jane well-known since Ellie was on the way. But Shelly clung to Maria and I to Jane, so we didn't even get very far that way.

A while ago we decided to try to break the deadlock using a quantitative method. Each of us would rank the eight names in order of preference, and we would assign points based on the combined rankings. We had done this before in a previous round, and it had worked, so we decided to try it again. Here are the results, assigning 8 points for a first-place vote, down to 1 point for an eighth place vote (the three names Shelly couldn't decide between for second place each got 6 points - the average of what a second-, third-, and fourth-place name would get):

Matt's List
1. Jane
2. Mary
3. Leah
4. Katherine
5. Julia
6. Rachel
7. Sarah
8. Maria

Shelly's List
1. Leah
2 (t). Katherine
2 (t). Mary
2 (t). Sarah
5. Maria
6. Rachel
7. Julia
8. Jane

Total Points
1. Leah (14)
2. Mary (13)
3. Katherine (11)
4. Jane (9)
5. Sarah (8)
6 (t). Julia (6)
6 (t). Rachel (6)
8. Maria (5)

This left us with the unmistakable impression that we have a top three, a middle two, and a bottom three. We mentioned that fact to each other, and then went off and lived our lives for several days and weeks. It turned out that we have kind of stopped talking about the other names besides Leah, Mary, and Kate. These are, after all, the three names that appeared in the top four for both of us. It's kind of funny, actually. We haven't officially eliminated any other names, though I think we both realize that at least Julia, Rachel, and Maria are not going to happen. Jane and Sarah are still technically in the running, but they're not too likely right now. One thing that has helped out the cause of Leah is that to the extent we have received feedback, Leah is the name that has received almost universal positive reviews.

Of course, Ellie has her own ideas. Ask her, and the baby's name is Kate. It's decided. Kate, Kate, Kate. She's got Annie saying it too, but every now and then, Annie will say she likes "Arah." We think maybe Annie only says "Kate" because it's easy for her to say. I keep reminding Ellie that she's not in charge. Frankly, it's a little sad because the fact that she's so enamored with Kate is almost making me go against it, when it's a name that both Shelly and I really do like. We kind of need to insulate ourselves against our opinions of Ellie's opinions. I just hope she can handle it if we go with a different name.

Ellie's Art Show

2009-11-10T21:48:00.004-05:00

Ellie is in preschool now, and one of the things she does every day is make art. For some reason, at the preschool they don't call it "art" - they call it "crafts." But it's art. She's learning how to use paints and construction paper and everything. Every couple of days she brings home a whole stack of art to show us, and it's getting more and more impressive. Here are a few samples of her work.

First, a family portrait. This is the first time we've been able to actually see the baby in Mommy's tummy. And when I asked her why I have such long hair (that's me in black), she said, "Daddy, I told my teacher that you have sorta long hair in the back."

Next, a piece of abstract art, created using a slice of an apple dipped in poster paint as a stamp (the paper got kind of crinkly with the paint; hence the wavy look).

Fingerpainting (this paper was quite large, and this cropped version is all that would fit on our scanner). Look closely and you can see whole handprints.

Finally, this picture was actually drawn at home, around Halloween. The guy in the middle is a monster, and the figure on the right is a witch. That's all I know about it, except that she's getting really good at drawing faces.

Happy Birthday Annie

2009-11-09T22:41:00.002-05:00

I'm a couple of days late, but here's a big birthday shout out to my favorite two-year-old in the whole wide world: my little Annie.

Annie is in a transitional phase of her life right now. She still does some baby-ish things (she puts things in her mouth that she shouldn't, and she cries a little too often, though thankfully she has stopped crying when we put her to sleep - just a couple of months ago), but she's working on some decidedly non-baby skills like talking (today when we were walking into Baskin Robbins for some birthday ice cream, I asked her what kind of ice cream she wanted, and she said, "Pink! And Mama brown ice cream!" - she knows her mom loves chocolate) and climbing (she can get into her carseat by herself, and somehow appears to be able to get out of the Pack-n-Play. I still call her "Baby Annie" sometimes, but I need to remind myself that this name is not going to apply for much longer, if indeed it still applies at all.

The more Annie grows up, the more I love her. She is a ton of fun to be around (when she's not crying), and she's even starting to develop a sense of humor - she loves to do things she thinks are funny. She adores her sister Ellie, and I know she'll be a good big sister soon, too.

I love you, little Ann.

Happy Birthday to a Little Angel

2009-11-04T13:07:00.003-05:00

Ellie is four years old today. That means I've been a daddy for four whole years. It's been quite a ride.

In honor of Ellie, I'd like to tell a story about a recent experience that I think demonstrates perfectly one of the reasons I love Ellie so much.

Last Friday, the day before Halloween, we went to a Halloween party at some friends' house. As we left (well after normal bedtime for the girls), Ellie and Annie each got a bag containing some candy. We dropped Shelly off at the home of another friend who needed some help, and I was in charge of getting the girls to bed.

As we got into the house, Ellie pulled a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup out of her bag and asked if she could eat it. I said no. She had already had way too many sweets at the party and earlier that day, it was late and time to get in bed right away, and Annie had left her candy in the car and the last thing I needed was an Annie who was crying because she didn't have candy too. Ellie protested that she was "hungry." When I offered her a carrot and she refused, I said too bad. Probably due to the late hour more than anything else, Ellie proceeded to throw a tantrum. This is very atypical of her. She's usually pretty even-tempered. But that night it all came crashing down, and Ellie threw herself on the floor, screaming that she wanted the candy. I said no one more time, and put the candy on the little end table in our living room. I picked up Annie and went upstairs to get her into her PJs. I told Ellie to come with me.

For a few minutes, Ellie stayed downstairs, crying. Once I had Annie ready for bed, I called down to her that she'd better come up right now. "One, two..." Before I got to three, Ellie, still sobbing, started coming up the stairs. When she arrived, she stopped crying and was a good girl about getting ready for bed.

After I said good night, I went back downstairs and saw the candy still sitting there right where I had put it on the end table. Ellie had been left alone with it for a few minutes, and it was right within reach, but it hadn't been touched. A bad kid would have just grabbed it and eaten it, since that was the source of the breakdown and no one was watching.

But Ellie, even at her worst, was an angel. She obeyed me and left the candy alone. She was very unhappy about doing it, but she managed the self-control to do it. I felt a moment of love and gratitude for a daughter whose heart is so pure.

I love you, Ellie. Happy birthday.

The Name: Kyrie

2009-11-01T22:52:00.002-05:00

With all the talk and anguish we've been having about our new baby girl's first name (and no, there hasn't been a whole lot of progress in the last several weeks since we announced the Top Eight Contenders; what progress there has been will be the subject of a separate post), it's been easy to kind of forget that we intend to give this girl a middle name, too. And there's one name that has emerged as a clear-cut front-runner for the middle name: Kyrie.

That's Kyrie, pronounced "KEER-ee-ay." It's a Greek word, transliterated into Latin, meaning "Lord." It's featured in a particular portion of Christian liturgy, particularly Catholic masses. The complete text of the Kyrie is: "Kyrie eleison, Christe eleison, Kyrie eleison," meaning "Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy." (I've also heard "eleison" translated as "save us.") People who are familiar with either liturgical Catholicism or good solid classical music may recognize it (there are plenty of great classical Kyries - if we go with this name, one of them might have to be this girl's song, just as Ellie and Annie each have a song about them, written by Beethoven and John Denver, respectively). Also, for the lower-brow set, recall that Mr. Mister had that song in the '80s with the words you didn't understand: "Kyrie eleison down the road that I must travel..."

Why is this the front-runner for our daughter's middle name? Well, we've been stewing about it ever since we were thinking about Ellie's name. Although I was familiar with the Kyrie in the liturgy, the first (and frankly, only) time I'd heard it used as a name was a girl in our ward in Cambridge whose parents were both professional musicians. Shelly and I both thought it was a daring and insightful name, though we agreed it was a little too much for a first name. After all, most people, upon seeing it in the context of a girl's name, would pronounce it wrong (probably "KIE-ree"), and that violates one of the fundamental rules of naming. Conversely, upon hearing it spoken, it's not obvious how to spell it. Kyrie is also not clearly and obviously a female name (after all, it's a title for a male person), thus violating another one of the fundamental rules.

But the fundamental rules don't apply to middle names. No one is actually going to call our girl "Kyrie," so we don't have a problem with giving her such an unusual and, frankly, esoteric name. People who are cool enough (or Catholic enough, I guess) to have heard of the Kyrie will manifest themselves* and those who aren't will just pass it off as an odd name. Which it is.

But I think Shelly and I really like it because of what it means. Who better to name your child after than Jesus Christ, the Lord himself? In fact, I'm really taken with the notion of naming this kid Mary Kyrie Astle (if she's born on Christmas Day, I just might insist on it) - it's a very religious, reverent name, in my opinion. Whereas Ellie's name looks forward and Annie's name looks backward, a girl named Kyrie - especially Mary Kyrie - would look upward.**

It's not a done deal yet, of course. The middle name depends heavily on the first name, so that rhythm and sound matching can be taken care of. But don't be surprised if our daughter comes with a middle name you can't pronounce.

* It's a lot like my friends who named their son Thelonius. One reason for doing so is that they wanted to see who was smart enough to know who Thelonious Monk was. They misspelled his name (or did Monk misspell his?), but the same principle is in place. Oh, and lest you think the poor child is doomed to a life of a crazy name, he goes by Theo.

** Does that mean that a fourth daughter would need a name that looks downward? Gaia Terra Astle, anyone? Nah.

My Mission Book

2009-10-27T22:21:00.007-04:00

Perhaps it's appropriate to break a month-long blog silence with a post that I've been failing to get around to for several months. Way back in March, I completed a major personal project that deserves crowing about. I made myself a Mission Book.

I don't really recall where or when I decided that this is something I wanted to do. It might have been as far back as 2007. But as soon as I latched on to the idea of collecting the records of my mission into one place, it got a little more and more elaborate. The finished product took me over a year of working on it during nearly every moment I could spare (and some that I couldn't), and it's quite an elaborate thing. But it's going to be a priceless record for me and for my family.

My Mission Book is a compilation of everything I could find that documents my mission to Brazil from 1995 through 1997. The first (and most tedious) step in the process was to transcribe all of my mission journals. Having mostly kept my mission goal of writing in my journal at least every other day, that's a lot of text.

Then I transcribed all of the letters that I wrote to my parents. My saintly mother had saved them all in a nice three-ring binder - she even had transcribed some of the mini-tapes I had recorded (which have since been lost). With both the journals and the letters, I added commentary, translating the random Portuguese words I used, and explaining to a reader who didn't know me in 1995 about the identities of people I talked about and events from my personal history that were alluded to but never explained. I also wrote a three-page introduction.

As if that textual work weren't enough, I then scanned all of the over 300 photographs I took as a missionary.

Of course, these prints have been sitting in a binder for years, and thanks to less-than-stellar Brazilian developing shops, they weren't brilliant and vibrant to begin with, so the next step was to Photoshop every one of those pictures, removing the scratches and discolorations, and tweaking the color levels so the people didn't look like yellow aliens.

Along the way I digitized a few other things - I scanned my missionary nametags, my transfer cards, my visas, my Brazilian driver's license, the newsletters I had written while in the mission office, my release letter from my mission president, and my notes for my homecoming talk. I even scanned a bumper sticker I got at Sin City Cycles in Lynn, Massachusetts while I was waiting for my visa to get into Brazil. I also created a few maps of my areas from Google Maps, and photographed my beat-up White Bible.

A year or so later, after I had all of my content assembled, I started the project of designing the book. I first tried Scribus, an open-source desktop publishing program, but it proved a bit cumbersome to use for a neophyte like me, so I opted instead for Adobe InDesign, one of the industry standard programs. The problem was that InDesign costs several hundred dollars, and I didn't want to spend that much money. But no worries - you can download a 30-day free trial. So all I had to do was to put all of this into a beautiful graphic design. This was the hardest part - working against the clock to pull it all together. I think I did a decent job - I used a different color theme for each of my areas, which nicely divided the 300-plus pages into chapters.

Then all I had to do was take the resulting PDF and upload it to Lulu.com, where I fought the file-format demons for a week before going ahead and ordering a single copy of print-on-demand goodness. The price was a bit steep (they charge by the page), but it was definitely worth it. I still have the electronic copy up there, so I can print other copies for my kids later on. The printing quality was awesome - the book looks great, and I couldn't be happier (unless it had cost less).

This was a very difficult and time-consuming task, but it was one of the most fulfilling personal projects I've done in a long time. Yeah, this blog is cool, but that mission book is a hefty reminder of one of the most important - and certainly the most unique - times of my life.

Here are some pictures of the covers, a chapter title page, a representative page, and a view of the Appendix, where I stuffed all the miscellaneous stuff (this is a couple of the mission newsletters).

"Cocoon" and Eternal Families

2009-09-22T23:22:00.003-04:00

I watched the movie "Cocoon" last night, and found it to be not just a well-made and well-acted movie, but quite a thought-provoking one as well. Like all quality science fiction, it focused more on the human reactions to the supernatural circumstances than on the supernaturality itself, and those human reactions made me think, oddly enough, about the LDS doctrine of eternal families.

Here's a little plot summary so I can make my point (and if you haven't seen this movie in the 24 years since it came out in 1985, then you can't complain that I'm going to spoil the plot here).

There's a lot more to the plot than this, but the important part for my purposes comes near the end. There's a group of benevolent aliens who have power over something they call "life force," who invite a bunch of old people from a rest home to join them in outer space. If they decide to go with the aliens, they will never get sick, grow old(er), or die. For its final half hour or so, the movie grapples with questions of life and death, as the old folks decide whether to go or to stay, and figure out how to say goodbye to Earth.

The most poignant part for me was when one man, Joe, who has terminal cancer and who has recently had a falling out with his wife due to his infidelity, tries to convince her to a) forgive him, and b) join him on the spaceship. He said, "I want to go. But if it's a choice between six months here with you and eternity by myself up there, I'd rather stay with you." Another touching moment was when another old guy, Ben, tells his grandson goodbye, assuring him they will never see each other again, but that Grandpa and Grandma will be happy where they are going.

The movie doesn't make the themes explicitly religious (except when a minister who believes the old folks have died assures everyone in the final funeral scene that they're in a better place), but "outer space" here is very analogous to "heaven." I, like Joe, can't imagine going to heaven without my wife. It wouldn't be heaven to me without her. Fortunately, I don't have to worry like he did - we have been sealed in the temple, so I am certain that although one of us might get there before the other one, we will both be on that spaceship together. And like the old folks on the spaceship, we will then have the rest of eternity to spend together. (Though of course, if, like Joe, I'm not faithful to my marital vows, that promise of eternal togetherness isn't there.) In fact, some of the most memorable parts of the movie were simply the looks that the old married couples gave to each other as they made up their minds to do it, knowing that they would, indeed, be together forever. Contrast that with their one friend, Bernie, who doesn't really believe in the aliens - or at least doesn't want to have anything to do with them. His Alzheimer's-suffering wife passes away before he tries to use the aliens' life force to help her, but it's too late. Then, by himself, he still refuses to get on the spaceship because that isn't what he wants. He thinks it's "unnatural." But I bet if his wife were able to go with him, he'd do it. (I guess that's why we do work for the dead - unlike with Bernie, it's never too late.)

I know that I'll never have to leave my children and grandchildren (or my parents and grandparents) forever, as these characters did when they boarded the spaceship. In fact, that's the glory of the whole plan: the door to the spaceship is always open, and if we remain faithful, we can all get on it, and we'll all be there. In the movie, the decision to go was bittersweet, but in the Gospel, it's only sweet.

It's a rare sci-fi movie that gets me a little choked up as I watch it, as "Cocoon" did. It's an even rarer sci-fi movie that gets me a little choked up because it reaffirms my testimony of the Plan of Salvation, Heavenly Father's love for his children, and my love for my own family.

The Name: Down to Eight

2009-09-15T00:04:00.002-04:00

Soon after I got all my recent posting done about our heavy work on the name-choosing front that one Saturday, Shelly cornered me one evening and insisted that we take the Fifteen Contenders and cull them down further. During the course of the conversation, we realized that the 15 names could be divided easily into three equal groups of five: names that I was the primary proponent of, names that Shelly was the primary proponent of, and names that we both seemed to be joint proponents of. My five were Jane, Paige, Mary, Tessa, and Faith. Shelly's were Katherine, Jenna, Georgia, Hazel, and Maria. The joint names, of course, were Sarah, Julia, Leah, Rachel, and Melanie. (Shelly thought that I would have jointly sponsored Maria with her, but she was surprised to learn that I am an advocate of the English version of the name, but not the Spanish/Portuguese/Latin version - Maria and Mary are the same name, after all, so one cannot endorse both versions).

Shelly's suggestion was that we each voluntarily eliminate one or two of the names in our own sponsorship category. Under duress, I admitted that of the five that I was sponsoring, Faith was lowest on my list. Faith got axed.

Shelly's turn. She picked Hazel, and it summarily bit the dust.

She pressed me for another elimination. I was torn. Jane has been my personal top choice pretty much ever since Annie got crossed off the list, so it was untouchable. But I got the sense that Shelly really had negative feelings towards Paige and Tessa (in contrast to the fact that I actually kind of like all of the names she's sponsoring (okay, except for Maria, about which I'm lukewarm at best, given that it's the same as Mary, which I really like)). And I didn't want to eliminate a name that, given her feelings, possibly had a chance. So I asked her which name she liked least - Paige or Tessa. I would eliminate the one she had the most negative feelings about. She didn't like having to choose between two names she didn't really like, but she chose Paige.

Shelly's turn. She admitted that as much as she likes Georgia, it's probably not one she wants to use as a first name. She made sure to reserve its use as a possible middle name (we haven't even really discussed middle names very much, but I think we're agreed that we're both open to some crazy ideas for middle names that we wouldn't consider for first names*), and she eliminated it.

Then we both realized that of the five jointly sponsored names, as they say, "One of these things is not like the others." Melanie, though it is a fine name that we both like, isn't in the same league with Julia, Rachel, Leah, and Sarah. Gone.

That left us with ten names: Jane, Jenna, Julia, Katherine, Leah, Maria, Mary, Rachel, and Sarah, and Tessa.

Just to see where we were, I suggested that we each use a secret ballot to rank those ten names in order of our preference. We could then compare how we each feel about each of them, and see where we're in agreement - whether it be that we agree we like a name, or we agree that we don't like a name as much. We assigned 10 points to each of our first choice names, 9 to second choice, and so on, down to 1 point for our tenth choices. Our lists looked pretty different from each other. But when you totaled up each name's points, there were some pretty striking things. The scores went like this:

Leah (15)
Julia (15)
Rachel (14)
Sarah (14)
Katherine (13)
Jane (12)
Maria (5)
Mary (5)
Jenna (5)
Tessa (4)

Two distinct tiers. Of course, the jointly sponsored names were probably bound to do well, but it was also interesting that Katherine was so high, thanks to the fact that I actually ranked it higher than Tessa, which I was sponsoring. Jane only got to where it is because it got ten points from me. For the record, Shelly's ten-pointer was Leah.

It became obvious to me that, based on the scores, a couple more names needed to go. Tessa didn't get much love from either of us. I was sad to see it go, because it's such a wonderful name. But it's gone. Jenna was also eliminated. Mary and Maria were allowed to stay on the list because they're essentially the same name and therefore count as ten points. In fact, I tried as hard as I could to convince Shelly to eliminate Maria because it's the same name as Mary, but she wouldn't budge. Yet.

This whole process and conversation probably took less time than it has taken me to write about it here. We went from 15 names down to 8 in just a few minutes. This was more than a week ago now, and we haven't really discussed names since then. Up until now, it's been a process of making sure we have considered all of our possible options, and eliminating non-contenders that we're not serious about. I think we've finally arrived at a list of names that we're serious about (except for Maria, which (as I think I've mentioned) is the same name as Mary and therefore needs to be eliminated because the baby's native language will be English). The points listed above aren't necessarily going to come back into play. I think we're going to stew over this list for a while.

Again, the final eight, in alphabetical order:

Jane
Julia
Katherine
Leah
Maria
Mary
Rachel
Sarah

* I mean, look at our two daughters' middle names. Virginia is a brash forward-looking tribute to our adopted home state, and Lynn is deliberately intended to be a little funny, as it is my Dad's name.

Go Cougars!

2009-09-07T15:24:00.002-04:00

"[H]eck, I'll be happy if they lose to Oklahoma by less than 21 points."

As you might imagine, I'm pretty happy. BYU beat Oklahoma by one point on Saturday, though they should have won by a lot more, the way both teams were playing. I couldn't sleep very well on Saturday night, just thinking about it all and saying to myself over and over: "BYU just beat Oklahoma. BYU just beat Oklahoma."

Of course, now BYU has the same problem they had last year, which was supposed to be better for this year: unrealistically high expectations. Now everyone expects them to run the table and actually contend for not just a BCS game, but the national championship (I've read a few national stories that mention this as a possibility). Going undefeated is a tall order for anyone - even the teams that do win national championships generally lose a game or two along the way. I just hope the Cougars can keep down the cockiness, remember to have fun, continue to see themselves as an underdog instead of a team with a target on its back. No matter what happens from here on out, this is going to be a fun season.

Which leads me to want to post just a few of the reasons why college football is my favorite sport.

1. There are lots of teams - so many even I can't keep track of them all. What this means is that with all the games going on, something awesome is bound to happen.

2. College players aren't as good as professional players. What this means is that any team can beat any other given team. Turnovers and mistakes and lack of speed or technique are common in college football and that keeps it interesting. Even when it's my team who fumbles the ball just before crossing the goal line (as BYU actually did on Saturday), I'm frustrated, but it sure does mix up the game.

3. Cool mascots. Where else are you going to find Boilermakers, Longhorns, Horned Frogs, and Hokies (whatever a Hokie is)?

4. Turnover. From year to year, teams don't stay the same - they lose players to graduation and the NFL, which means there's always someone new to root for or against, or to get to know. It builds loyalty to a team, not to a player.

5. The system sucks. I'm going to try not to rant too much against the BCS this year. Really, I'd just like to see them do away with the automatic-qualifying-conference thing altogether and just give the automatic bids to the top six conference champions, regardless of who they are. Sure I'd like a playoff (but if there were a playoff, would Oklahoma be as nervous as they are now?), but railing against the system and rooting for the little guys is really one of the fun things about it all.

Ah, Fall!

2009-09-03T12:35:00.000-04:00

When I was younger, I didn't really have a favorite season of the year. I guess if I did, it would be summer, because school was out and my birthday is in August. But the older I get, the more I like fall. Fall rocks.

On Monday morning, I stepped out of the house to go to work, and there was a discernible nip in the air. It made me smile. I like the weather of fall. It's comfortable. You can wear a jacket, or if you don't mind getting a little chilly, you can leave it off. The heat and humidity of summer (see, the older I get, the more often I spend the summer in Washington, DC) are over, and it's actually nice to be outside again.

Along with that comes the beautiful changing of the leaves. Although I don't live in New England anymore, maybe it's the case that once you have lived there for a couple of falls, every fall brings back the vivid colors they enjoy there. I remember a drive through Vermont and New Hampshire one October where I was actually gasping at the foliage all day long.

Halloween is an awesome holiday. The only problem is that Ellie told me theother day she wants to repeat her costume from last year: a cupcake. She was adorable as heck, but if she sticks to it, we won't be able to come up with a new fabulous costume. And I should start thinking already about what I'll do for my pumpkin.

Football season, of course, is the other main reason to love fall, and it starts tonight, when I'll stay up late to see if Boise State can win the only difficult game of its season against Oregon. Summer is the cold dry spell for sports, but both football and basketball start up in the fall (though football is more important while the two overlap). This year, I'm particularly excited to see what happens to my BYU Cougars. They have what I believe is the perfect schedule. A national superpower (Oklahoma) at a neutral site, a former national power that should still be ranked respectably (Florida State) in Provo, a road game at a respectable C-USA team (Tulane), and kid brother Utah State on the Friday before General Conference for the guaranteed win. Plus, Utah and TCU both come to Provo in odd-numbered years. I don't expect this year's team to go undefeated (heck, I'll be happy if they lose to Oklahoma by less than 21 points), but I do expect them to win at least 9 or 10 games and end the season ranked. That's about all one can expect as a BYU fan. Of course, there's also that tantalizing possibility that if the only loss is a close one to Oklahoma, BYU could be the first one-loss BCS buster.

I love fall!

The Name: The Fifteen Contenders

2009-09-02T23:36:00.001-04:00

On Saturday evening, immediately after vetoing 18 of my 56 names, Shelly remarked that it was silly to still have so many names on the list when we both know a lot of them aren't serious contenders. Let's go through it again and pick out the ones that we really think have a chance, and not just names that we think are a little bit cool, she suggested.

This process actually went much quicker than the previous run-through. It consisted of me reading out a name, and if one of us said, "Yes," we kept it. When we didn't say "Yes," we usually said not "No" but "Eh...," meaning that we didn't hate the name, but we didn't love it enough to speak out on its behalf. Some very lovely names fell by the wayside, simply because we weren't in love enough with them.

And thus we ended up with a list of 19 names. But a couple of them were suspect. Monica, for example, struck both of us as a name that was fairly popular in our generation ("Do you know any Monicas younger than Lewinsky or older than Gellar?"), and might sound like a "Mom" name to a girl born in 2010. This is an important consideration. So Shelly went downstairs and quickly looked up each of the 19 names on the Baby Name Voyager (of which I'll explain the virtues in a later post) to determine their popularity history. When she returned with the results, four more names bit the dust, based on the fact that they had dramatically risen and fallen in popularity a few decades ago, leaving a spike that will forever brand it as a "Mom" name for our children's generation: Julie, Laurie*, Monica, and Wendy. Four beautiful names.

The result? We have our Fifteen Contenders. We're both pretty much agreed that our daughter's first name will be one of these names, though I don't know what the next step in the process will be.

Faith
Georgia
Hazel
Jane
Jenna
Julia
Katherine
Leah
Maria
Mary
Melanie
Paige
Rachel
Sarah
Tessa

At the end of this process, I said, "I would like to make a prediction. I'm not necessarily advocating this, but I am predicting, based on all of our conversations tonight, that the name will be Sarah, Rachel, Leah, or Julia. Those are the names we seem to agree on the most."

We'll see...

* Lauren was the name on the original List of 56, but we changed it to Laurie because we both liked Laurie better. Shelly remarked that she might even like to spell it "Lori," but I reacted strongly and negatively to that suggestion. "Names that end in '-i' are by definition white trash," I said. (Of course, this does not necessarily apply to people with such names. One of my dearest high school friends, who bears such a name, isn't even white!)

The Name: The First Casualties

2009-09-01T12:04:00.001-04:00

So continuing the story from Saturday evening, after the girls were in bed, I was reading, but Shelly wanted to talk. So I went downstairs and got the paper on which I had written the List of 56. We started going through them one by one. Shelly offered comments ranging from "Eh..." to "I like that one" to "No."

Going through it the first time, Shelly exercised her veto power (I didn't have any veto power over this list, since I had compiled it and presumably had excluded any names I would have vetoed from it when I did so) over a few names. Since they were all names that were borderline for me anyway, I acquiesced. The following names were axed (in order of 2008 popularity):

Grace - Shelly can't pronounce this name without a thick Southern accent, and always makes it "Gracie." When she says it like that, I can't deny her a veto.

Vanessa - We both admitted we can only think of Vanessa Huxatable.

Charlotte - Shelly has nothing against the city - she just isn't keen on the name.

Angela - Shelly doesn't like the short form Angie, which will definitely come up, and I agree if we're going to have another name that ends with -ie or a similar sound, there are better candidates.

Piper - I'm not sure why I put that one on my list in the first place.

Lila - Just an odd name, I suppose.

Violet - Shelly doesn't like nature names, of which flower names are a subcategory.

Clara - It's the name of a cow (and one good friend of mine from high school).

Hope - Shelly's not big on virtue names, and I agreed that Faith is greater than Hope (incidentally, Charity, supposedly the greatest of all, didn't even make the List of 56...)

Josie - Shelly insisted that it would have to be a short form of Josephine, and that realization made me vote against it as much as Shelly.

Cora - "No."

Alice - Shelly can only think of the Brady Bunch housekeeper, whereas I think of Wonderland. I only let it go because it's too close to Elise.

April - But since she'll be born in January, maybe Jan as a middle name! (Or is that too Brady Bunch?)

Helen - Shelly has no respect for ancient Greece. And it sounds a lot like Ellie.

Norah - As with Cora, apparently it's the "or" sound that is offensive.

Marie - We already had Mary and Maria on the list; the Frenchies lose.

Tess - Tessa > Tess.

The Name: Dinner Discussion

2009-08-31T12:05:00.001-04:00

Shelly came downstairs immediately after I had completed the List of 56, and she read through it. She reacted with surprise to a few of my suggestions: "Vanessa? Tessa? Cora?" As we headed out the door to Chili's (we had a gift card), we left the list behind, but had a general idea of its contents. One of the first things I mentioned in the car was that of this long list, there were only two new names that hadn't really been discussed seriously before that I think I would put in my "serious" tier: Monica and Tessa. Shelly wasn't too taken with Tessa, and said that when she hears Monica, she can only think of Monica... (I thought she was going to say Lewinsky, but she said)... Gellar.

At dinner, we talked about our most favored names. I asked Shelly which ones were in her top tier, and she said (in no particular order): Sarah, Kate, Leah, Rachel, Rebecca, Jenna, Maria, and Julia. I answered the same question as: Jane, Paige, Mary, Leah, Rachel, Julia, and Faith.

I asked her about the forms of the names she would prefer for Kate and Rebecca. She would be all for the given name of Kate, since Katherine isn't what she's likely to call a kid with that name. She would prefer an interchangeable combination of Kate and Katie. I wondered if Katie isn't overused, as some of our kids' cousins apparently have cousins on the other side named Katie. Not that that should stop us.

Shelly wasn't as clear on her preference between Rebecca, Becca, and Becky. The way I perceived it, I think she would like one of the nicknames at least while the kid is a kid, with the option of the more sophisticated full name as she gets older (this is sort of our philosophy with Elise and Johanna). She commented on all the wonderful people she's known and loved throughout her life named Rebecca/Becca/Becky. I commented on the fact that I dated a Becky for a long time at BYU, and that might be a bit weird for me.

We talked about how we both seem to like the Jewish Matriarch names Sarah, Leah, and Rachel. (Rebecca, of course, is also in that category.) Shelly talked a lot about all of the Rachels she's known, whom she's had both good and bad feelings about, depending on the Rachel. I haven't known very many Rachels very well. Interestingly, though Monica Gellar looms over her name, Rachel Green apparently doesn't.

Shelly tried to explain why she's not as big on Jane as I am. It's too traditional, simple, unflashy, and unexciting for her. I said that's the main reason I like it. In fact, I lumped Mary and Sarah into the same category and said I like them for the same reasons. I tried to explain how Paige is great because it's so unusual but with bright, lovely sounds, but Shelly said it just sounds like a page of a book.

No conclusions were reached in this conversation except one - Rebecca should probably come off the list. Becky, if you're reading this, it's nothing personal. I really do like your name, but it's so tightly associated with you, I'm not ready to give the name to my daughter.

That was the dinner conversation, but it wasn't the end of our naming activities for Saturday. More to come...

The Name: Getting Down to Business

2009-08-30T09:33:00.003-04:00

Now that we know we're having a girl, it's time to start getting serious about her name. Yesterday was a day of big progress on that front - so much that it's probably going to take me a few posts to document it. I knew Shelly and I would have a lot of time in the evening to discuss names (we were going out to dinner without the kids, thanks to a babysitting swap we participate in every Saturday), so in the afternoon, I went to the Social Security Administration's website and pulled up the official list of the top 1000 girl names in America for 2008.

I scanned through the list, looking for all the names I would possibly consider. I was struck by a couple of things as I went through it. First, there are a lot of Latino names represented - names like Esperanza, Alejandra, Camila, and Mariana. That's just fine. I was also surprised that some names - like Natalie, Ashley, Neveah, Evelyn, and Jennifer - were as high on the popularity list as they were. Most distressing was the fact that there are a lot of misspelled names, like Makayla (#37! Don't these people know that there isn't a word in the English language with the sequence -aka-?), Lillie (it's in the dictionary!), Madalyn, and Kennedi.

But I was able to come up with a list of 56 names that I had positive feelings about. I used kind of a low standard, so that there would be plenty of names on the list and none would be missed. When in doubt, I wrote the name down. Shelly had no input into the assemblage of this list - she first saw it when I was done. Here is the list I came up with, in order of popularity in 2008 from most popular to least:

Olivia
Natalie
Sarah
Grace
Lily
Victoria
Lauren
Julia
Leah
Katherine
Brooke
Maria
Rachel
Vanessa
Melanie
Charlotte
Paige
Faith
Caroline
Mary
Molly
Nicole
Jenna
Sadie
Rebecca
Amy
Angela
Erin
Piper
Lila
Violet
Tessa
Clara
Scarlett
Hope
Josie
Georgia
Monica
Bethany
Cora
Alice
April
Julie
Hazel
Rose
Helen
Jane
Wendy
Norah
Heather
Marie
Teresa
Tara
Rosemary
Tess
Laurel

Literary Variety

2009-08-27T14:38:00.003-04:00

I just updated the sidebar of my blog here, as I often do, to reflect the fact that I have finished reading a book. I've found that I've done that quite a bit in recent weeks - a lot of books that I've been reading in some form or another simultaneously and sequentially have all come to a finish lately. Looking at the new sidebar, I'm impressed with the variety of the kinds of books I read. the last seven books on there are all wildly different.

Scalia Dissents - Starting today, I am reading a collection of the best dissents from the Supreme Court's best writer. A book mostly for law junkies.

Free - A businessy book about pricing models and economic theories.

Watchmen - The most highly acclaimed graphic novel of all time. Or, if you ask Shelly: a comic book.

Grimm's Fairy Tales - The original (okay, translated into English) violent, random stories told by the peasantry of 18th Century Germany.

Reading the OED - A lighthearted book about words and the English language

The Believing Heart - A faith-promoting LDS book.

Gone With the Wind - The Great American Novel.

I mean, I think I'm pretty cool and everything, but who else do you know who would even be interested in reading all of those wildly different books, let alone in rapid sequence? I am a unique animal, that's for sure.

Abu el Banat

2009-08-21T22:30:00.002-04:00

My Grandpa Astle was the second-to-last child of his family. He had four boys. Of those four boys, my dad was the second-to-last. He had four boys. Of those four boys, I was the second-to-last.

When I was younger, I always thought that meant that I, too, was destined to have four boys. Well, perhaps I got it just backwards.

We had our 20-week ultrasound today to celebrate my birthday, and it's official: we're now up to three girls. The little one growing in Shelly's tummy gave us a really good look such that even to our untrained eyes it was pretty obvious. She is healthy and well-developed, and she's a girl.

I'm happy. Yes, I would like to have a boy. There are different experiences that come from raising boys and girls, I suppose, that I would like to experience. But I sure do love my girls, and we sure do a good job of making cute ones. I'm excited. Besides, we already have the clothes and things.

This has been a really good birthday.

The Name: The Current Lists

2009-08-20T11:49:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow we find out whether this baby is a boy or a girl. It's a momentous occasion for many reasons, and high on the list of reasons is the fact that we can then narrow the field of names down significantly and start getting down to business.

As I've mentioned, Shelly and I have had several name-related conversations already, involving both genders. From time to time, one of us will just say to the other one, "Hey, what do you think about this name?" Or we bring up names that were minor contenders for our first two children - especially the boy names we had batted back and forth in the early months of those pregnancies.

So there are quite a few candidates that have been proposed. Some have been endorsed principally by me, some by Shelly. Some, believe it or not, we both agree we like. And before half of the names get disqualified, I'd like to set out for the world the list of suggestions as it currently stands.

One of these lists is going to be eliminated tomorrow. I've always gotten a somewhat weird pleasure from knowing that if I had been a girl, the name my parents had picked out for me was Christine. Of course, back then, they didn't know my gender till they met me, and it was important to have one name of each gender ready. Nowadays, we don't need to narrow it down so far before knowing the gender. Our child can thus look back on the wrong-gender list here and wonder which of these candidates would have been the winner.

This is my attempt at making a complete list of names that have been proposed as candidates for our baby's first name. Having made these lists, I'm surprised that the boy list is so much longer than the girl list, when both Shelly and I agree there are a lot more fabulous girl names than fabulous boy names. I attribute the discrepancy to 1) us having made an effort to think of fabulous boy names because it's harder to do, and 2) (more importantly) the restriction on -ie and -y names, which eliminates a huge number of fabulous girl names. Anyway, whichever list makes it past tomorrow is certainly not closed to new suggestions (and there are probably some that I've inadvertently omitted anyway), but there's a good chance our baby's name is here.

Girls
Caroline
Faith
Georgia
Hazel
Hope
Isabel
Jane
Jenna
Julia
Katherine
Kyrie
Leah
Maria
Paige
Rachel
Rebecca
Sarah
Sasha

Boys
Aaron
Adam
Barack
Benjamin
Bradley
Brandon
Charles
Daniel
Darren
Enoch
Ezekiel
James
Jared
Jeffrey
Joel
Joseph
Kyle
Noah
Owen
Peter
Quinn
Scott
Seth
Todd
Trevor
Tyler
Tyson
Zachary

The Name: Cousins

2009-08-15T09:47:00.004-04:00

This is a very opportune time to note another naming proposition. Last week, Ellie and Annie got a new cousin. My brother in Alaska had a new baby girl (though he didn't bother to tell us about her arrival on Monday until we called his house on Saturday to wish my dad a happy birthday). Her name is Maren, and I'm sure she's great. Therefore, our baby will not be named Maren.

I wouldn't think this would need to be said, but cousin name-cannibalism is a prominent trend in Shelly's family. She has a brother named Steven and a cousin named Steven. She has a sister named Elizabeth/Lissa and a cousin named Elizabeth/Lissa. Her mom's side of the family especially is very into naming kids after ancestors, and there's only a limited pool of names, resulting in many cousins with the same or related first names and middle names (i.e. another brother's middle name is Victor and a cousin's first name is Victoria because of a grandfather Victor). It's prevalent to the point I joke that they are incestuous with their names.

But I believe that there are enough names that members of the same family can have a different one. It's probably all right for my kid to have the same name as my aunt (my wife has the same name as my aunt!) or something, but my kids shouldn't have the same name as one of their cousins.

Therefore, the following names are off-limits as far as I'm concerned, at least for first names. These are the first names of all of Ellie and Annie's cousins.

Boys
Aydon
Bryce
Chase
Conner
Johnathan
Joshua
Marcus
Nicholas

Girls
Bryanna
Dana
Elizabeth/Lissa*
Erneke
Hannah
Leanna
Loretta
Maren
Savannah
Sophie

Note also that another brother of mine is expecting another girl next month. We don't know what her name is yet, but once we do, we'll scratch it off our list (assuming it ever was on our list).

* Yes, despite the sister and the cousin, Shelly's other sister has decided the family needed one more.

Gone With the Wind

2009-08-07T11:13:00.005-04:00

Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell is the best book I have ever read.

I've been thinking a lot about that statement for the past three weeks, trying to determine if it's true. I have come to the conclusion that it is.

For the past four and a half years, I have actually kept track of every book I have read (the lists appear on this blog every January). And then, I can also think back to books I read prior to 2005, and only a few jump to mind as really, really good books. My list of favorite books includes such disparate titles as The Baby Name Wizard by Laura Wattenberg, John Adams by David McCullough, and The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. I really enjoyed The Quincunx by Charles Palliser last year, and Endurance by Caroline Alexander has stayed with me for years, though I'm not sure it was the book itself or the incredible true story it told that made it so gripping. I sympathized with the monster in Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, and with John Wilkes Booth in Manhunt by James L. Swanson. My eyes were opened by Blink and The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell, and I was taken in by the surprise ending of Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game. There are few pleasures in life equal to sitting down with The Complete Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson, and thanks to a college English class that studied it, I think often of the themes of A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean.

But none of those books can touch Gone With the Wind. It is, hands down, the best book I have ever read. By a considerable margin.

I didn't expect this going in. I watched the movie a long time ago, but had forgotten everything except that there was a swear word and a fire. I actually sort of had the impression that the novel was a bit "girly," a romance novel more than anything else.

But Gone With the Wind is much more than a romance. It is more than a war novel. It is a partisan, wistful, strong-minded homage to the Old South and the crumbling of a way of life. Throughout the book, like petals off a dying flower, the traditions of the antebellum plantation life to which Scarlett O'Hara was raised dry up and fall away, one by one, and blow away, "gone with the wind that has swept through Georgia." It starts seemingly small, and you think it can't get any worse when Sherman's army blows through and rips the heart out of Georgia. But that's only the mid-way point of the novel.

Mitchell proves herself a genius storyteller, gluing me to every one of the nearly one thousand pages of the book. I read it in less than three weeks. The plot and the action were paced perfectly - every day when I went to bed I would think about where I was in the story that morning, and so much had happened since then. Lurking at every page turn, at every new chapter, was some exciting new development, some entertaining conversation, some heartfelt lamentation for the Confederacy.

Yes, after reading Gone With the Wind, I almost sympathize with the Confederacy. Surely Mitchell presents a glorified view of it, where every man is a gentleman and every slave is happy and well-treated. But the book opened my eyes to the sufferings and longings of the everyday civilians of the Civil War - especially the women of the South. I understand what they believed in, why they believed in it, and why they were willing to die for it. I don't, ultimately, agree with them. But for the first time, I think I really understand what they mean when they call the part of Virginia - the nexus of the Confederacy - in which I live "occupied Virginia."

When I finished the book at 12:50am last night, having read the final 50 pages in a single trance-like sitting, as each of the pillars that had supported Scarlett were toppled from under her, I felt the pain of war and the pain of the South, and Scarlett herself became the embodiment of the American spirit, rising above it all because "tomorrow is another day."

Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler are two of the most real characters I've ever encountered in fiction (or even nonfiction, for that matter). The paradox is that neither of them is a particularly good person. Scarlett is selfish and vain and immoral and unscrupulous. Rhett is a blackguard, a murderer, a philanderer, and a narcissist. But they fascinate me. I cannot like Scarlett, but I respect her, for she is strong and driven to get what she wants. I cannot respect Rhett, but I like him because of his cavalier attitude and his way with words. They both make some terrible choices that I hope I would never make in the same situation. But I was swept away by them, particularly by their interactions with one another.

More than anything else, I think the reason Gone With the Wind is now my new favorite book is that it appealed to everything I enjoy about reading. Well-phrased language, compelling characters, historical insights about things I thought I knew but didn't, detailed and overwhelming ability to conjure up a particular time and place, unexpected plot turns. This is a masterpiece of literature, and it deserves its place as the most popular and highly acclaimed American novel of all time. If you have not read it, do so. My only regret is that it took me this long to discover it myself.

The Name: Ground Rules

2009-08-06T13:14:00.006-04:00

The first step in naming a child is setting the ground rules. A lot of the ground rules don't really need to be explicitly stated (i.e., no Islamic names, at least one vowel, no punctuation, watch out for embarrassing sequences of initials, etc.). But setting restrictions and limitations from the outset, I've found, is one very helpful way to cull the enormous list of potential names down to something at least manageable, where you can start to pick the ones you like.*

The first and foremost rule for me and Shelly is that we have to spell the name right. No desire to make the child's name unique will make me name a kid something like Stefanee, Jayson, or Mishell.* When you hear the name spoken aloud, you should be able to know how to spell it. It makes things ever so much easier for the kid, especially with a last name like Astle, that does need to be spelled out. Whenever I am giving my name over the phone to a stranger, I always say exactly these words: "Last name Astle, A, S, T, L, E; first name Matthew." I am always glad that at least I don't need to spell out my first name.** There are certain names with more than one acceptable spelling. For example, a name that appears toward the upper end of our girl list right now is Katherine/Catherine. I have a feeling that if it comes down to that name, there may be a conflict between me and Shelly as to how to spell it. But the fact that the kid might forever more have to say "That's Katherine with a K" isn't as likely to make me shy away from that name as something like "That's SanDeE* - Big S, little A, big D, little E, big E, and there's a star at the end."***

Just as you should be able to spell a name upon hearing it, you should also be able to tell what gender the person is upon learning their name. None of these popular androgynous names like Taylor or Morgan. And definitely no giving a girl a boy's name like Ryan or Cameron. My dad's name is Lynn, and I can't tell you how many times he's been thought to be a woman.

There's a fine line to walk with regards to popularity. No one wants their kid's name to be too popular. But on the other hand, I do want it to be a recognizable name that people have actually heard of. When Ellie was on the way, we quantified this rule and declared that we would name our kid only a name that appeared on the previous year's Social Security Name List between number 30 and number 1000 (Elise was #225 in 2004). I don't know that I want to be all that rigid this time around - after all, there are some really good names that are really popular. And my life hasn't been so bad having the second most popular boys' name of my generation. Everyone has heard my name before, everyone knows how to spell it (as I've mentioned), and I'm certainly not embarrassed by it. The only drawback is that from time to time in crowded places, I turn and look when someone yells "Matt!" to someone else. We Matts even get a kick out of talking to each other: "Hi, Matt." "How's it goin', Matt?" There's a secret sense of understanding between us. So it's not the worst thing in the world to give your kid a super-popular name. All the same, I'd rather do something kind of in the middle of the road.

On the other side of that coin is the rule against completely made-up names. I've known a couple of these people in my life, and so have you. Heck, I married one. Shelly's name is really Shellyn, which her parents literally made up. But she has the saving grace of going by a name that everyone's heard of. Unusuality is great, but literal uniqueness - one-of-a-kind-ness - is a little too much for me. That's why last time we didn't go past name #1000 on the Social Security list.

This time around, there's a new rule that was never considered with Ellie or Annie. Because my two girls' names are so similar to each other, I think we need to make a conscious effort to make this child's name not fit into the pattern. Some people like patterns. I have a cousin whose first and last names both start with J, and she named her three kids all J names. Shelly has a relative whose first two girls' names (coincidentially, I think) rhymed, and then when the third girl came, they purposely chose a name that would rhyme with the other two just to keep the trend going. That's fine for them; that's not me. So no name that ends with -ie. Probably no name that ends with that sound at all (which eliminates a whole lot of girl names I really like, such as Mary, Molly, Wendy, Abby, etc.). I mean, can you imagine me introducing my kids: "This is Ellie, Annie, and Charlie." In fact, I am beginning to feel that we should even shy away from names that begin with a vowel. I'm not going to say that should be a hard-and-fast rule, but Ellie, Annie, and Olivia is just about as bad as Ellie, Annie, and Molly. In fact, we've already decided that if it's a girl, our "joke name" (that is, the name that we tell people just to get a laugh) is going to be Allison. "Then we'll have Ellie, Annie, and Allie!" we'll say.****

And finally, I guess I should mention that it has been made explicit that, with our last name, first names like Jack, Harry, and even Justin are out of the question.

* As I go about this process of documenting the naming process, I will of necessity have to specifically say that I don't like particular names. Some of my readers may have one of these names I disapprove of, or at least know and love someone who does. I hereby state that in this post and in all future similar posts, my disapproval of a particular name is not intended as a disapproval of any person bearing that name (or even their parents), and it is not meant to give offense to anyone. I am just expressing my opinions here, and in that process, I must necessarily say that there are certain names I don't like. Sorry.

** Of course, I've actually met people who spell it Mathew with only one T. It's right there in the Bible, people. Look it up.

*** Name that movie.

**** Pity. I actually really like Allison/Allie. Surprise, surprise, eh?

What Really Needs to Happen in College Football

2009-08-04T12:52:00.002-04:00

I know the college football season is still a month away (I'm counting down the days till the BYU-Oklahoma game, which I'm still upset I'm not going to attend), but it's time to start thinking about it. It's also always the time to be thinking about ways to hurt the BCS or to rectify the injustices it perpetrates. Some people just whine for a playoff, and I have been one of those people in the past. But we might as well wish for a pony, because we're not getting one. That's why I enjoyed this cnnsi.com article so much. It offers a realistic perspective on what BYU, Utah, TCU, Boise State, East Carolina, and the like can actually do right now under the current system to 1) get the national respect they think they deserve, 2) put the BCS in its place and work within the system to make the whole thing a little more fair, and 3) make money doing it. Definitely worth a read for any fan of a non-BCS team.

The Name

2009-08-03T23:01:00.003-04:00

So as you may have heard, we're expecting our third child in either early January or late December (date yet to be determined). We don't know yet if it will be a boy or a girl, but we'll find out on my birthday (August 21 - send presents!). And I've thought about it and talked with Shelly about it, and I've decided that since I've had such a hard time lately coming up with things to talk about on my blog, I am going to thoroughly document the process of naming our child for all the Internet to see, right here at the Welcome Matt.

A lot of people keep the name-picking process very private. For example, when my oldest brother was expecting his first kid (my first nephew), we asked him, "What are you going to name your kid?" and he answered, "We're not telling." So I said, "Ok, then, it doesn't matter what you name him - I'm just going to call him 'Scrappy.'" And I do. He's nine now, and I still call him "Scrappy." I think he has a real name, but I don't use it.

Even Shelly and I have been somewhat reserved about advertising our name choices before the birth of our two girls. With Ellie, we did tell people that the final four contenders were Elise, Johanna, Melissa, and Jane, but beyond that, the process was kind of private.

I suppose that's because people are possibly afraid that if they talk about what they're thinking of naming their kid, other people will make fun or offer unwelcome suggestions, or otherwise disapprove. And that's certainly a concern. But if you decide on a stupid name that other people don't like, they're going to find out eventually and disapprove anyway when they do. Maybe the difference is that once you've actually named the kid, it's not kosher to criticize the name.

But I don't care about that. Shelly and I really like to think about names (she suggests we put more thought into it than most couples, but I'm not sure - I think everyone just keeps it to themselves), and my blog is a place for me to think about things I like to think about. So in the coming months, I intend to lay it all out there for anyone who cares to see: what contenders we're considering, why we're putting certain restrictions on ourselves, why we eliminate certain choices, and where we're getting our suggestions. If someone happens to comment and criticize the name we like before the kid comes along, perhaps that will help us change our minds and the kid will avoid a lifetime of a stupid name. Don't worry - if I disagree with your comment or suggestion, I will just ignore it.

This third time around is a better time to do this than our first two times were, anyway. With Ellie, everything was so new and exciting, naming was just one of many great things to think about as we were preparing for her arrival. Now it's just about the only thing (unless it's a boy, in which case we'll have to buy some blue clothes too). Also, ever since Shelly heard that a couple in our Cambridge ward had named their daughter Ellie, she was pretty strong-minded about it, and my other suggestions didn't hold much sway. The opposite was true for Annie. I have wanted to name a daughter Johanna Lynn Astle for a very long time - much longer than I've even known Shelly. And since Shelly picked Ellie's name, I got the right to pick Annie's name. There wasn't even another name that was seriously considered (I humored some of Shelly's suggestions, but she knew as well as I did that this would be our Annie).

This time, it's wide open. Right now, there are probably 15 or 20 names of each gender that Shelly and I have batted back and forth (yes, we've already had several name-related conversations, even before we know which half of the name pool to disqualify). I'll disclose them soon (this post is already long enough). Any one of them could be the final pick - there is no overwhelming favorite. Heck, there aren't even three or four names that seem more likely than the others right now. It's going to be an interesting process winnowing this down.

And that interesting process is something I want to share with you, dear reader. Watch this space.

Brownie Bites

2009-08-02T20:36:00.002-04:00

A moment ago I did something I haven't done in a very long time: I made brownies when Shelly wasn't in the house. It was a significant occasion because Shelly is a Snitch Nazi. She thinks that the only point of making brownies, for example, is to eat the finished, cooked brownies. She doesn't realize that in actuality, there are two purposes: eating the finished, cooked brownies AND eating the batter. I'm not sure which I like more - brownies or brownie batter.

So as I whipped up a batch this evening, I realized that for the first time in who knows how long* that I had an entire bowl of brownie batter in front of me and I could eat as much of it as I wanted.

You know how much I ate? Not a whole lot. I dumped the batter into the pan and started scraping the sides of the mixing bowl. All I did differently was I stopped before I had thoroughly cleaned the entire bowl. My last scrape or two went into my mouth instead of the bowl. Oh, and I did take a spoon to the pan after I'd put it in the oven, but I did that mostly just to be able to tell Shelly that I'd done it, to see how much it would get her dander up.** All in all, I got maybe a fourth of a cup of batter, or something similarly insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And that's all I wanted. As a matter of fact, all that raw sugar made my mouth sting a little bit. So it's not like I would go crazy if I had the chance. Tonight I had the chance, and I had a small but satisfying snitch.

* If ever - surely there's always been someone, be it my mom or a roommate or someone, to lurk over my snitches.

** I'm writing this as the brownies are still cooking, before she comes home, so I don't know to what elevation her dander will rise.

Look Who's Talking

2009-07-20T10:58:00.002-04:00

Annie is starting to talk. Most of the time she just babbles, but she's learning a lot of words. Every now and then she'll get into a mood and just start repeating the last word of every sentence we say. It's pretty cute.

But yesterday was momentous. We were sitting in sacrament meeting at church and Ellie had to go potty, so Shelly took her out. Annie was sitting with me. She pulled out the word cards we've made for Ellie to learn to read - they have a word on one side and the matching picture on the other. Annie happened to grab the card marked "Mama," which has a picture of Shelly. She looked at it, and gleefully said, "Mama!" Then she kind of snuggled up to my leg and in a wistful way said, "I love Mama!"

Thus I was the only witness to Annie's first complete original sentence. Although she's happy that she was the subject of the sentence, Shelly is jealous that she didn't get to hear it.

Arthur Fiedler, Villain

2009-07-06T22:16:00.004-04:00

I have stated in this space before that my number one Fourth of July pet peeve is the insistent playing of Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture" during fireworks shows. It's the most patriotic time of year, when we all gather together to celebrate our country and its greatness, and we listen to a performance of Russian music that celebrates Russia's victory over Napoleon, complete with excerpts of the French national anthem "La Marseillaise" and Russia's former national anthem "God Save the Czar." I mean, really. Just because it has cannonfire doesn't mean you have to do it while other things are going boom.

I was just discussing this with Shelly, and decided it was time to get to the source of the problem. Shelly asked the astute question: "Whose idea was it to start playing the '1812 Overture' with fireworks on the Fourth of July?" We kind of understand why the decision was made (Boom! Ha ha! Boom!), but who is the culprit?

Google led me to a very enlightening article from July 4, 2003 in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Your culprit, ladies and gentlemen: Legendary Boston Pops conductor Arthur Fiedler.

Apparently on July 4, 1974, Fiedler took it upon himself to perform the "1812 Overture" on the Esplanade, and the idea stuck. He sorta looks like the kind of guy who would betray America's values in the thick of the Cold War, doesn't he? I mean, that mustache is pretty slick, even for the '70s.

So while the article argues that Tchaikovsky's work is now "as American as apple pie," I still find its very literal elements of Russian vs. French warfare quite unamerican.

The Power of Prayer

2009-07-01T22:10:00.002-04:00

On Sunday I felt kind of under the weather. Throughout the day I was sneezing and my face was itching and my nose was running. It was kind of not a pleasant experience all day long. And every time I sneezed in front of Ellie, she said, "Daddy, are you sick?" I would be obliged to say, "Yes, Ellie. I'm a little sick today." She responded, "Oh, Daddy! I don't want you to be sick!" She was a little upset by the distressing prospect of having a sick daddy (and who can blame her?).

So when we gathered for prayers that night, Ellie said the prayer, and she asked Heavenly Father to bless me to not be sick. It was really sweet. Then, I'm not sure why, but Shelly encouraged Ellie to say another prayer for her sick daddy after we had said goodnight and left the room. As we were leaving, we saw Ellie sitting up in her bed to do just that. I, too, went straight to bed (which is unheard of for me at that hour), kind of expecting to take my first full sick day in almost four years of employment at my current job.

But, despite a kind of rough night, I finally awoke in the morning surprised to find that I didn't feel that bad. In fact, as I sat up in bed, I realized I could breathe through my nose just fine, and my head felt pretty normal. It was a bittersweet moment, because I realized I would have to go to work after all.

But when Ellie got up, I asked her if she had said another prayer for me. She said yes. "Daddy, are you still sick?" I told her I felt good now. Her reaction was priceless. "Oh Daddy! I'm so glad you're not sick anymore!" she cried, jumping up and down. I made sure to point out to her that Heavenly Father had answered her prayer. Hopefully this experience will help build her little testimony. It's helped mine a bit - I didn't have much faith that I would feel better in the morning, but I guess the faith of a three-year-old trumps whatever lack of faith I had. If we truly believe as a little child, God can work wonders.

Once Burned, Twice Cautious

2009-06-29T11:15:00.003-04:00

Some good friends recently moved to Arizona (for reasons we'll never understand), and on their way out they sold us their big outdoor propane grill for $30. This was great, because I've been wanting a grill for some time, but have never made the effort to try to sell Shelly on the idea. So our new grill isn't exactly new, but it's great.

Yesterday for lunch, I decided I would grill up some hot dogs on the new machine. It would be only the second meal we'd made on it. But I understood how it all worked and invited Ellie out onto the deck with me to light it up. Although at the time, I thought I was doing everything right, I now realize I wasn't. I left the propane on too long before trying to light it up, and it didn't light on my first couple of tries, and a few other things weren't exactly right. Then on maybe my third or fourth try, it lit. As there was a cloud of propane gas hovering over the grill, a huge ball of fire appeared and raced toward my head.

Ellie screamed. I jumped back. In less than a second, the fireball was gone and the grill was simmering just like it should. But Ellie was inconsolable. "Fire! Fire!" she cried. And boy, did she cry. She ran back inside and refused to go back out. It took both me and Shelly holding her for several minutes before she calmed down. Frankly, I don't blame her. The fireball was big enough that for that split second, all I could see was the color orange. I felt the whooshing of warm (but not really hot) air on the left side of my face. Ellie wasn't nearly as close to it, but she saw the fire near her daddy's face, and that can upset a three-year-old.

I joked to Shelly, "Do I still have an eyebrow?" and fingering it, found that I did. After getting Ellie calmed down, I went back onto the deck to put the hot dogs on. For some reason, I put my hand on top of my head, and that's when I noticed it: I had singed a good portion of my hair.

I looked in the glass sliding door like a mirror, and saw tiny curls of charred hair like the flocking of a tacky Christmas tree, all over the left side of my head. I rubbed my hand briskly on the area, and little burnt pieces fell off. I showed Shelly and we had a good laugh, but then I realized how serious this could have been. The fireball wasn't even so hot it was even a tiny bit painful, but it had gotten me nevertheless. Before leaving for church, Shelly had to give me a little bit of a trim, to eliminate those few singed hairs that didn't fall off when I rubbed them. I'm no worse for wear, and you can't tell the difference now, but I'll certainly be more careful in the future when I play with fire.

And who knows if Ellie will ever agree to eat a hot dog again.

Word Is Out

2009-06-16T23:36:00.002-04:00

I fail to blog for a while and big things happen. Like a week-long vacation at Myrtle Beach. And Ellie announcing to the world that Shelly is pregnant. Both events are well-chronicled over at Shelly's blog, which is updated far more faithfully than mine these days. But yeah, we're due to have another kid on January 8. It's an exciting time - we're about to be a family of five. We're trying to decide if it's better to try to get the doctor to schedule the C-section in December. Ellie is very happy, and keeps asking me if the baby is still in Mama's tummy. I think she doesn't want Mama to lose the baby and forget where she put it.

Now that I've broken the ice of the blogging hiatus, hopefully I can post more frequently about things that aren't as momentous as a new member of the family.

Farewell, Longfellow Park Chapel

2009-05-18T16:05:00.006-04:00

I just learned that the LDS chapel in Cambridge, where I attended for the year and a half immediately before I got married, burned down yesterday due to an electrical fire during Stake Conference.

This news has saddened me more than you'd think I would be saddened by the news of a building fire. It's just that this particular building has more emotional connections to me than most. I could mention the fact that my first trip there was as a missionary, waiting for my visa to get to Brazil, where I dropped off my first companion and picked up my second. Or the countless fun ward activities like the Halloween dances or the date night where the ward activities committee set everyone up with someone they thought was right for them. I could mention the late-night BYU football games, including the attempt Shelly and I made at keeping the chapel from being looted by a hoodlum at 2am. I could mention two of the most spiritual baptismal services in my life, one of a guy in the singles ward who had been going to church for years and finally realized that he was going to be able to keep the very serious commitments baptism entailed - a baptism that was so crowded it packed the chapel and I didn't even bother trying to watch the actual ordinance - and the other of a single mom in our family ward who expressed the most touching testimony (my parents were there for this service, and they remarked how this kind of convert spirit is rarely felt in Utah). I could mention the architectural features like the gorgeous rose window behind the podium or the chapel balcony where you sat if you were late. I could mention so many things. But as I consider all of the wonderful things that happened to me in that building, clearly the most wonderful were the sessions I had in the bishop's office on the second floor, talking with Bishop Hoffmire about the fact that I was ready to propose to this wonderful girl Shelly Camacho, and then later, sitting with Shelly in his office as he took the time to give us several pre-marital counseling sessions, preparing us for the exhilirating life together we would share. The Longfellow Park chapel is where I had many of the spiritual experiences that directly led up to my marriage. It's sacred ground to me. I mourn the loss of that building.

A Lifetime of Discrimination

2009-05-14T14:14:00.002-04:00

I have a memory - or, rather, a series of memories - from my childhood. Whenever my mom and I would go shopping for new clothes for me (usually around the back-to-school season), we would look around for clothes that fit me, and we would discover that, in general, stores tended not to carry clothes in precisely my size. They would have clothes a little too big for me, and a little too small for me, but rarely just right. It was like there was a hole in the range of sizes, and that hole was exactly my size. Worse, as I grew, the hole moved with me, so that even over the course of several years as my size changed, it was always difficult to find clothes that fit.

Upon reaching teenager-hood and then adulthood, I finally grew out of the hole, and was able to generally find what I wanted in the size I wanted it. I didn't think much about my clothes sizes.

For the past several years, I've been wearing pants with a waist size of 36. I used to be skinnier, but I figured as I aged I was slowly starting to expand. But then, over the past year or so, I lost some weight. I correspondingly also lost some girth. Now not all of my size 36 pants fit so well anymore. I still wear them, but I have to cinch up my belt a little bit, and I'd rather not do that. I've discovered that size 34 is still too tight, but size 36 is just a bit too big. So I'm a 35. That's a fairly middle-of-the-road waist size: not too tiny, not too fat. You'd think it would be easy to find pants in that size.

You would be wrong. Last night I went out looking for a new pair of jeans with a 35 waist. I covered Old Navy and Sears (including the Lands' End section, since I love them so much), and I must have seen a few hundred pairs of jeans. Only one of them had a 35 waist, and it had an inseam of 38 (I take a 32) (plus it was an ugly color). It appears that with my recent weight loss, the "hole" of my childhood has caught up with me again, and clothing manufacturers are conspiring against me and refusing to make apparel that fits my particular size. My kingdom for a size 35 pair of pants!

It's been tough being a minority - one of those rare people who don't grow or shrink in two-inch increments - my entire life. I feel the discrimination and hatred, but my plight is generally unnoticed.

My only options appear to be: 1) buy a 36 and cinch up my belt, 2) pig out on Mothers' Day cheesecake and get back to where a 36 is comfortable, 3) continue losing weight (an unsure proposition) until a 34 fits, or 4) go to landsend.com and buy a pair of 35 jeans that are available only online. I went with option 4.

Mother of the Year

2009-05-11T10:35:00.001-04:00

Not to brag or anything, but my wife is pretty cool. Check out this video that came out yesterday (on Mothers' Day).

A Sharp-Dressed Man

2009-05-01T20:30:00.003-04:00

In an effort to get back into the blogging thing a little bit, today I address a very unimportant subject. The other day the Lands' End mens catalog arrived in the mail. I flipped through it and was able to come to only one conclusion - a conclusion I have come to several times when looking at the Lands' End catalog: I need about a thousand dollars to spend at Lands' End and I'll be wardrobed for life. I just have a lot of good feelings about Lands' End, from their coats (which I own and love) to their T-shirts (which I own and love) to their shoes (which I used to own and still love, but I wore them out and now they don't make that model anymore, which was one of the most tragic pieces of news I've ever heard, but fortunately L.L. Bean, which is otherwise not quite as good as Lands' End, makes the same shoe so I own two pairs of those and love them). Of course I'm not spending any money there anytime soon (probably). But if you want to get me a gift I'll absolutely love, you can do a lot worse than a Lands' End gift card.

April Sadness

2009-04-07T09:50:00.001-04:00

Oh phooey.

April Madness

2009-04-06T20:43:00.003-04:00

The NCAA Mens Basketball Championship Game starts in less than an hour. It's an important time for me right now because I still have the potential to beat Shelly in our annual family bracket pool. We've each filled out a bracket every year of our marriage, and Shelly so far is 5-0. This year I tried not to pick so many upsets as I usually do (that's Shelly's primary strategy for filling out her bracket), and I think I've done better than I usually do. As things stand right now, I'm 10 points ahead of her.

But the interesting thing is that I picked Michigan State to win it all. She picked North Carolina. Those two teams will be stepping onto the court in a few minutes for all the marbles. Little do the players know that in the Astle household, this game is for all the marbles as well. How unlikely is that?

Go Spartans!

Everybody Yells at Toby Redux

2009-03-15T10:58:00.012-04:00

Back in December, I presented the findings of my scientific study of The West Wing. Specifically, I explained how I had watched every episode of the series with the intent to calculate how often the character Toby Ziegler was yelled at. Sadly, though, the data I had collected for the first season were lost, and I was only able to present data for Seasons Two through Seven.

Well, I have good news for all of you who, since that time, have been wondering if the first season was any different. During a routine cleanup of our filing cabinet, Shelly discovered the Season One data. I can now present a complete picture of how often Toby gets yelled at. (Unfortunately, I simply didn't collect data on how often Toby yells at others until Season Six, so I leave the completion of that project to someone else.)

Originally, I presented a number I called the Toby Ratio, which was the number of instances of someone yelling at Toby divided by the number of scenes Toby appeared in. Essentially, it was the percentage of Toby's interactions that resulted in someone yelling at him. For Seasons Two through Seven, the Toby Ratio was almost 17%. I surmised that "If anything, more people yelled at Toby in Season One than later on."

I was wrong.

The Toby Ratio for Season One was only 10.3% - the second-lowest of all the seven seasons (Season Six was 9.9%). That brought the total Toby Ratio from nearly 17% to 15.88%. Here is an updated graph showing the season-by-season Toby Ratio.

Toby Ratio By Season

In my original report, I presented an episode-by-episode graph showing the number of scenes in which Toby appeared graphed against the number of times he was yelled at (and for Seasons Six and Seven, the number of times he yelled). Here's an updated version of that graph, showing the percentages (as well as noting episodes in which Toby didn't appear at all - you see how they started shoving him out at the end). Apologies for the bad picture quality.

Total Toby Yelling By Episode

As for the people who yelled at Toby, Season One didn't stray too far from the patterns of other seasons. C.J. is still Toby's top yeller; the only significant change to my chart of yellers is that Mandy Hampton, a regular character in Season One who mysteriously disappeared without explanation in Season Two, did get in one yell, keeping her off the list of main characters who never yelled at Toby. Toby's ex-wife Andy only appeared in one episode in Season One, and she yelled at him. That means she yells at him in a total of 8 of the 16 episodes she appears in throughout the series, meaning that fully 50% of the time she's in the show, she yells at Toby. (Also remember that she's in one episode that Toby is not in.)

Who Yells at Toby

Now the data are complete, we can all rest easy. Hopefully someday someone will do a complete study of when Toby yells at others, because my hunch is that that is where the really interesting facts lie.

Outliers by Malcom Gladwell

2009-03-06T21:03:00.003-05:00

This week I finished reading Malcolm Gladwell's new book "Outliers." I, like everyone else who has read them, really enjoyed his previous books, "The Tipping Point" and "Blink," so I was anxious to see the next thing he'd come up with. I even got on a waiting list at the library that was originally over 200 people long.

Honestly, I have mixed feelings about the book. I think he presents a very interesting and illuminating thesis, and he does it well, but in the end, I don't think I was as convinced as he wanted me to be.

Essentially, the idea presented in "Outliers" can be summed up in two statements: Sometimes the thing that makes one person better at something than anyone else is a random circumstance largely out of his control. And practice makes perfect.

Surely it's no huge revelation that someone who has more practice at a given thing will be better than someone who has less practice. Gladwell goes so far as to quantify it, though, claiming that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become a master musician or a master computer programmer. That's a lot of time. But upon this initial stepping stone he places another wrinkle: sometimes people get their 10,000 hours of practice because they were simply lucky enough to be in a place that allowed them to do so.

He gives examples of the Beatles, who played thousands of hours of concerts in their early days in Hamburg, and of Bill Gates, who logged thousands of hours of programming on a free computer when he was in high school (when most people didn't yet know what a computer was). The Beatles just happened to get the invitation to play in Hamburg, and Gates just happened to attend a school that had a computer and lived within walking distance of the University of Washington, which let him use their computer after hours. The most convincing example was a demonstration that Canadian hockey stars are generally born in the first few months of the year, because the best players in age-group-based little-league hockey are the oldest and biggest ones, so they get the best training and get sent on to the next level.

The question is, though: Weren't there other bands playing every night for eight hours at a stretch in Hamburg? Didn't all the other kids in Bill Gates' high school also have access to a computer? Gladwell doesn't dismiss talent and initiative, but I think that even with his selected examples, those factors played a far bigger part than the random happenstances he focuses on.

In the second half of the book, which focuses on the effects of cultural inheritance, he totally lost me. He spends a huge number of pages talking about airplane crashes, and claiming that two particular crashes - one with Korean pilots and one with Colombian pilots - would not have happened if the pilots had come from a culture that believed more in standing up for yourself. (The co-pilots could have averted the crashes had they asserted themselves more about how to fix the problems.) He makes huge generalizations based on these two isolated incidents. There just wasn't enough evidence that it was the pilots' nationalities and not their personalities that doomed them for me to buy into the premise. But even if it were true, I'm not sure the point is related to the thesis of the book. He's trying to say that cultural forces shape us and at least partially determine whether we'll succeed, but he's focusing entirely on failures in a very specific and unusual circumstance (flying a plane in dangerous conditions). That doesn't help me understand how someone can be an outlier - better than everyone else like the Beatles or Bill Gates.

He closes with an extended anecdote about his mulatto Jamaican mother, who by chance got some really good opportunities in life, which allowed her to meet the man she married and live a wonderful life. Again, he's trying to show that chance determined her destiny. But Mrs. Gladwell is not an outlier. She's not better than anyone else in the world. Sure, she had a better life than many of her Jamaican peers, but she's no Bill Gates. No one will dispute the point that chance plays an important role in determining the course of your life. Make a wrong step and get hit by a bus. Your first choice is already booked when you ask her for a date so you ask out your second choice and end up marrying her. Big whoop.

But here's the really crucial point. Malcolm Gladwell is such a good writer, I don't really care about all of these criticisms I've just leveled against him. "Outliers" is a great book. I highly recommend it. Even when he's getting bogged down making his airplane crash point, the stories and language are well-paced and engaging. I still didn't want to put the book down, even though I wasn't really being convinced of anything and even when the whole second half felt like filler. It was engaging filler. Somehow, Gladwell must have been able to put in 10,000 hours at writing, because I will still anxiously read anything he writes.

So Long, Kandinsky

2009-02-08T10:29:00.004-05:00

It might have happened a little while ago, but it was just a couple of days ago that I noticed Ellie has made a major developmental milestone: she has started making representational art.

Some time ago, I blogged about another three-year-old's confusion at an adult's attempt to figure out what she had drawn. I decided then that I wouldn't push my kids to draw a picture of something - pretty colors on the page are good enough. Nevertheless, Ellie has started drawing pictures of people. Here's a family portrait she drew yesterday:

The big long purple thing is me (I'm very tall, you know). See my red head, with hair and one eye and a mouth? Ellie herself is the blue figure on the right. Isn't that a great face for someone who has just graduated from scribbling? Baby Annie is the little red thing at the top, and Mama is the red person next to me. She doesn't really have a face, but she has lots of hair (just like Mama really does), and all the little lines going downward are all her "feet." Not sure about that one.

This is evidence that my little girl is developing both greater mental capacity and greater motor skills. She can even write her name in an almost legible way. Sometimes I still accidentally call her "Baby," but she is clearly correct when she insists, "Daddy, I'm not a baby!"

PS - as I type this, Ellie is playing with Play-Doh, singing to herself the tune of the hymn "Now Let Us Rejoice." I have no idea how she picked that up. She never ceases to amaze me.

Fantastic

2009-02-07T10:10:00.002-05:00

A monumental milestone was recently reached in our marriage. For the first time in over five years of marriage, Shelly went with me to a symphony concert. Not an NSO Pops Christmas concert, but a real live National Symphony Orchestra concert featuring music composed by dead Europeans I studied in my music courses at BYU. This was technically a Father's Day gift, but it was worth the wait.

We went to an all-French program with music by some modern composer, a piano concerto by Ravel, and Symphonie Fantastique by Berlioz. We actually sat in the choir seats behind the orchestra. We were on the first row, so we could lean over the edge and look at the bassists' music, as they were standing right in front of us. It was an interesting perspective on the concert. We could see the facial expressions of the conductor (once, after the trombones hit a tricky passage, he looked over at them with this look of triumph, as if to say, "Yeah, guys! You nailed it!" I wonder if they were having trouble with it during rehearsal.) The balance was a little off - the French horns were pointing straight at us and therefore were a little louder than usual, and for the concerto, the piano was opened out toward the audience, and that combined with the fact that the whole orchestra was between us and the piano, it was a little hard to hear when the orchestra was playing loudly.

But the music was great. The modern piece was OK. Both of us really liked the Ravel concerto (Piano Concerto in G Major), which we had never heard before. But I particularly liked the slow second movement, which I found to be moody and beautiful, and Shelly preferred the flashy third movement for its theatrics. Shelly didn't care for the second movement, and I thought the third was just a little too theatrical. Interesting, eh?

But then came the Symphonie Fantastique - the reason we (that is, I) chose this particular concert for my Father's Day gift, and the reason I was willing to wait till January. My dad's favorite composer is Berlioz, and when I was a child, he had a habit of going into the living room in the evenings, turning off all the lights, leaning back in his reclining chair, and listening to records of Symphonie Fantastique and Berlioz's Requiem (also Orff's Carmina Burana). I had no idea at the time, but I think that even though I was never actively involved in these listening sessions, this is one of the most influential things my dad ever did for me. That habit played a great part in developing my musical tastes and propelling my interest in music.

So hearing this great music performed live for the first time was a thrill. I had no idea the oboe solo in the third movement was to be performed offstage, but off he went. And the brass fanfare in the fourth movement was one of those rare musical moments where your body physically reacts to the power of the movement - it's more than just chills down your spine. I had tried to prepare Shelly beforehand by telling her the story of the symphony, this being the first major work of explicit program music. She claimed she would have liked it better if she hadn't known it was about a drug trip, but I enjoyed the guillotined head falling into the basket and could imagine the witches dancing wildly. The dies irae in the fifth movement rocked.

We're going to a performance of the Saint-Saens Organ Symphony in a couple of weeks (my birthday present). If I'm lucky, I can get Shelly to be willing to make a habit out of this.

How the University of Utah Is Like Obama

2009-01-22T23:36:00.002-05:00

On Tuesday, Shelly and I, like everyone else, gathered around the TV to watch President Obama's inauguration. Ellie was complaining loudly that she would rather watch Little Einsteins, but we tried our hardest to get her to at least notice what was going on. This is an important piece of history, we told her. The pageantry and promise of this particular inauguration did indeed inspire me.

Then I took a step back and said, "Wait. This is the guy who, when asked in a debate what federal programs he would cut, went on and on about new programs he would start! This is the guy who has pledged to raise my taxes as high as he can to pay for all sorts of needless governmental bureaucracy!"

Yes, I am glad the barrier has been broken and America has elected an African-American president. But I am sad that the particular African-American president we elected is Barack Obama.

Just like I am glad the BCS has been busted several times now and a team from a non-BCS conference trounced former-#1 Alabama in the Sugar Bowl and ended up ranked #2 with a legitimate claim to #1. But I am sad that the particular non-BCS school that did so is the University of Utah.

There are certain things I believe in about the role of government and the way political policies should be run. There are certain things I believe in about the glory of BYU football. Sometimes, higher purposes come along, like ending the specter of racial prejudice or the fork-tongued, cackling, fiery demon of the BCS. Usually, my interests are aligned. A lot of what I believe politically goes along with racial equality. And a lot of what I believe about BYU football goes along with the destruction of the BCS.

But this January, I have been unfortunate enough to have my interests conflicted. The higher purpose has been advanced by someone who opposes my fundamental, basic beliefs. Obama won. Utah won.

I guess all I can do as a freedom-loving BYU fan is to wait until next season.

What I Call A Successful Weekend

2009-01-21T13:43:00.002-05:00

I just finished a four-day weekend. Monday was Martin Luther King Day, and Tuesday was Inauguration Day, which means that Washington, DC was completely shut down. My office wisely gave us an official holiday, because it would have been next to impossible for anyone to actually show up for work. So I spent the weekend at home. In fact, here is the complete list of what I did outside my house between Friday night when I got home from work, and this morning (Wednesday) when I left for work again.

1. Saturday early afternoon - The whole family took a trip to Wal-Mart to get a furnace filter, a dustbuster filter, and some sandwich baggies.

2. Sunday afternoon - I went to church.

3. Tuesday morning - I took the trash out.

4. Tuesday evening - I stepped over to our neighbor's porch to collect her packages that had arrived while she was out of town.

That, friends, is it. And that, friends, is why I am so happy today.

Sizzlin'

2009-01-20T20:12:00.002-05:00

You know how families will sometimes come up with their own vocabulary - words they use in their house to describe certain things that no one else uses? Well, here's one of ours. The other day we had fajitas for dinner. Today, I heated up some leftovers for lunch. In our family, we don't call leftover fajitas "leftover fajitas." We call them "re-heatas."

The Movies of 2008

2009-01-19T09:18:00.004-05:00

It's time now for me to list all of the movies I watched in 2008. The total number is 32, which is down from the 46 I watched in 2007, but I was able to meet my goal: it's less than the number of books I read in 2008 (38). I didn't watch a single movie in the theaters in 2008 (the most recent movie I've seen in the theater is Harry Potter 5) - I just can't bring myself to pay that much for something I can get for so much less if I just wait a little while. I simply don't understand people who have to see a movie the weekend it is released. If it's good now, it'll be good a year from now. So 24 of my movies were on DVD, 6 were recorded off TV with our fancy new DVR, one I saw on an airplane, and one I saw at a ward party.

I've listed the movies here in more or less the order in which I enjoyed them, though especially in the middle, you could give or take a few slots. An asterisk means I'd seen it previously at some point in my life.

1. WALL·E (12/29/08) - I really, really wish every movie in the world were made by Pixar. This movie had excitement, romance, comedy, and a compelling story. Head and shoulders above every other movie released in 2008. There are so many wonderful things to say about this movie, but I'll settle for just this: I was even moved by the sound design - the beeps and electronic voices and sound effects. No other movie has ever done that for me.

2. The Incredibles* (12/9/08) - Probably one of my very favorite movies of all time, if not THE favorite. I only rank it below WALL·E because I'd seen it before. Besides all the excitement and entertainment value and hilarious characters, this movie involves very touching themes of family and uniqueness that make me think every time I see it.

3. Hairspray (3/10/08) - Not deep by any means, but absolutely a joy to watch. From the excited teenagers to John Travolta in a fat woman suit to Michelle Pfeiffer as the incarnation of evil, I just couldn't stop smiling. And that's all you can really ask for in a musical.

4. Enchanted (3/26/08) - Another musical with such a high enjoyment quotient, I'm able to overlook the plot holes and silly stuff. I need to check out more Amy Adams movies, because she's enchanting.

5. Martian Child (2/28/08) - I bet this is a lot higher on my list than it is on anyone else's. You may not even have heard of it (John Cusack (who doesn't love John Cusack?) plays a widower who adopts a very weird kid). It gets this ranking from me because of the way it made me value my fatherhood. As I watched Cusack's character grow to love his son, it increased my love for my daughters. It's a rare movie that actually changes your perspective about your real life, but this one did.

6. Get Smart! (11/28/08) - Okay, enough with the moving movies. This was was just funny. Put Anne Hathaway in it too, and her gorgeousness is just gravy.

7. The Maltese Falcon (7/12/08) - I've never really been a Humphrey Bogart fan. He always seems stiff to me. But after reading the novel it's based on, I understood Sam Spade, and let me tell you, Bogey nailed him. Smart, self-concerned, and a little bit of a jerk.

8. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (6/16/08) - If ever there's been a movie that's the incarnation of whimsy, this is it. It doesn't really mean anything, but it makes you want to take the world a little less seriously. The world is full of wonder.

9. Stardust (5/1/08) - How can you resist a fairy tale where Claire Danes plays a literal fallen star, and Michelle Pfieffer plays an evil witch? The best was the swordfight scene where one of the fighters is already dead.

10. The Simpsons Movie (1/15/08) - Worth watching just for the Spider-Pig scene. I don't think I laughed that hard all year (and I read a lot of Calvin and Hobbes!).

11. Cloverfield (5/3/08) - I am not a horror fan. But I heard this was good, so I rented it while Shelly was out of town. While at times it was difficult to watch (as much for the shaky camera as for the mayhem), it thoroughly succeeded in both creating a terror-filled atmosphere and making us care about and understand the characters. Right up until the point where they climb to the top of a collapsing skyscraper to save an ex-girlfriend, that is. No one would do that.

12. Leatherheads (10/10/08) - If Michelle Pfeiffer is at her best when she's evil, George Clooney is at his best when he's funny. I get nothing from the "smooth" Clooney in shows like Ocean's Eleven, but he's the shining light in shows like this or O Brother Where Art Thou?.

13. Nancy Drew (9/4/08) - A pleasant little snip of a movie, which would not have worked at all except for the blazing charisma of Emma Roberts. I wish her a long and successful career.

14. National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets (9/27/08) - Just like the original, I liked this sequel not because it was good (it wasn't really), but because it was so over-the-top, it was just enjoyable to watch.

15. The Bourne Ultimatum (7/11/08) - I've heard that James Bond nowadays just wants to be Jason Bourne. Understandable. My only regret is that Julia Stiles' character didn't die. And she had so many chances.

16. The Hunt for Red October* (8/2/08) - Other than the fact that I don't buy Sean Connery as a Russian for a second, I really enjoyed this thriller. I think Shelly would rank it in her top five for the year if she did rankings. Maybe she has the hots for Alec Baldwin.

17. Becoming Jane (6/27/08) - At least they didn't fictitiously make Jane Austen end up with the guy at the end. It puzzles me why the producers decided to make a biopic of Austen rather than adapt one of her novels besides "Pride and Prejudice" ("Northanger Abbey," anyone?). But put Anne Hathaway in it, and the gravy of her gorgeousness makes it all worthwhile.

18. A Midsummer Night’s Dream* (8/9/08) - Okay, so Michelle Pfeiffer isn't exactly evil. And I don't understand why nobody wears any clothes. but my biggest complaint is with Shakespeare himself. That final sequence with the play is a little funny, but it's way anticlimactic.

19. Waitress (1/21/08) - I enjoyed the conceit of creating a new pie to express one's attitudes and frustrations with the world. But I didn't enjoy the celebration of infidelity. But I did enjoy Andy Griffith as a cantankerous old fogey.

20. Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End (1/1/08) - Weird.

21. The Errand of Angels (12/8/08) - A "Mormon movie" about some sister missionaries in Austria. I thought it was fine in its portrayal of missionary challenges, but nothing really ever happens, and the central personality conflict is resolved a bit too easily.

22. It’s a Wonderful Life (12/25/08) - Not until this Christmas had I ever watched this movie all the way through from beginning to end. Yeah, it's fine. But I'm not such a fan of George Bailey. He's a nice guy normally, but when he's upset, he can get mean and even violent. He could make some personal changes and his life would be even more wonderful. And what the heck does anything have to do with Christmas?

23. Plaza Suite (12/30/08) - Starring Walter Matthau, Walter Matthau, and Walter Matthau. Matthau does a great job of establishing three different characters, but only the third act is really any funny. I say "act" because this movie was based on a play, and it plays like a play. The actors even take a bow at the end.

24. Bee Movie (4/11/08) - I enjoyed the silly bee world and the relationship with the human, but maybe it was just a little too silly for me. Should have given it to Pixar - they would have used their genius to make it a masterpiece.

25. The Shakiest Gun in the West (9/12/08) - An old Don Knotts vehicle about a dentist who ends up in the middle of an outlaw escapade in the Old West. Very silly and contrived, but you just can't hate a movie that has Don Knotts in it.

26. Young Frankenstein (10/3/08) - I expected more out-loud guffawing from a Mel Brooks film, but mostly this just provided a constant smirk. The plot really didn't go anywhere, but it had some great gags.

27. Herbie Goes Bananas* (2/8/08) - There is no point to see this movie (or, probably, any Herbie movie) except for the fact that you see a car covered in bananas. We go to the movies to see things we don't see every day, right?

28. Passage to Zarahemla (11/3/08) - Another "Mormon movie" about a dimension-warp that allows a girl and her "imaginary" friend who turns out to be a Nephite sentinel to enter each others' worlds. It was a good idea - especially the comparison between Gadianton's robbers and modern gang-bangers - but the execution just didn't do it for me.

29. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (11/10/08) - I'm sorry. Yes, it was nice to see Indiana Jones again. Yes, there was plenty of familiar action. Yes, all of the previous Indy movies featured supernatural forces. And yes, I'm even aware that Indiana Jones was conceived as a tribute to old-school B-movies, but: Space aliens? Really? That's just a bit much.

30. Transformers (2/23/08) - A lot of badmouthing has been done of this movie, but my complaint is really one-fold: You spend millions of dollars on computer animation for these robots, and in an effort to make it really cool, you lose sight of the fact that this is a car changing into a robot. They would have been better served to remember the toys. You can't tell what part of the robot makes up what part of the car, and there are certainly too many moving parts to follow it during the transformation. That is the reason Transformers were cool (I had several dozen as a kid), and they totally missed it.

31. Amazing Grace (2/9/08) - This is a biopic about the anti-slavery crusader William Wilberforce. I guess I felt good about his struggles for a just cause, but it mostly just left me feeling meh.

32. 27 Dresses (5/24/08) - Scanning my list, I am way impressed that I only allowed myself to watch one true-blue formulaic romantic comedy all year. (WALL·E is sort of close to one, but it is so much more than that, it doesn't count; Enchanted is a musical, so it doesn't count either. Maybe Waitress counts.) It's not that I found this incarnation of the standard formula so poorly done or out-of-the-blue unrealistic, as is often the case. Really, I didn't like this movie because the characters were unlikable. The girl is a spineless whiner and the guy is an annoying jerk who doesn't know when to stop.

There's A Way

2009-01-05T12:45:00.003-05:00

Well, folks, I'm testate. This past weekend Shelly and I finalized and signed our wills. Now that's in place (along with the life insurance we bought this fall), I can die in peace.

It was an interesting experience, contemplating my death. And not only my death, but the death of nearly everyone I love - one of the hardest parts was figuring out what to do if Shelly, Ellie, Annie, and I are all dead (we might all die in the same car crash, for example). Who gets the kids? Who gets the kids if the first choice isn't available? How old do the girls have to be before we'll let them control their own inheritance? Should we restrict our bequest to BYU from using our money for athletic scholarships (and is that wise in light of what the University of Utah did to Alabama on Friday?)? Whom should we name as executor and stick with the responsibility of paying our debts and selling and distributing our belongings? Should I make some crazy requirement like you have to spend a night in a haunted house in order to get my piano?

We used a software program called Quicken WillMaker Plus, which was great for a basic will (although I was disappointed in its lack of Virginia-specific knowledge - for example, it spat out a sentence saying that I live in the "State of Virginia" when everyone knows Virginia is not a State). But I also went the extra mile of taking a Continuing Legal Education Course which provided some helpful insights and language that I wanted to include. So I exported the WillMaker will to a Word document, and it yelled at me several times: "DO NOT CHANGE A WORD OF THIS WILL! YOU COULD TOTALLY INVALIDATE IT!" I proceeded to change a lot of stuff. But I figure that's okay - I'm a trained lawyer. Let's just hope a 3-hour CLE course is enough training to avoid the invalidation of my will.

When all was said and done and written and adapted into a separate will for Shelly too, we took the unsigned copies to a neighbor's birthday party and asked the crowd who would like to be our witnesses. Will-signings are supposed to be a solemn occasion, but we moved the cake and ice cream out of the way on the dining room table to sign. But hey, according to my extensive legal training, that's valid. Then we went home and put the legal formalities in our fire-safe box. Now we can start living dangerously, I guess.

The Books of 2008

2009-01-03T09:38:00.004-05:00

It's a new year, so it's time for me to disclose to the world the entire list of books I've read over the past year. I started keeping track a couple of years ago, and it's been an enjoyable exercise. One of my firmest goals is to have the list of books I read over the course of a year be longer than the list of movies I watched (which I'll talk about in a later post). Last year I didn't do it. But this year, I did. I read 38 books and only watched 32 movies. I was surprised at the number of personal memoirs/autobiographies I read this year: 10. The fiction to non-fiction ratio was 18 to 20, I try to keep them pretty even, so I did a good job.

Here is the complete list of books I completed in 2008 (this doesn't include scriptures or books I didn't finish). This year I've decided to list them in order of how much I liked them, with the date I finished them in parentheses. The ranking is kind of subjective, and most books (especially in the middle) could probably give or take a few rankings. Also bear in mind that I really liked most of the books I read this year - if I think a book is truly bad, I don't finish it.

1. The Quincunx by Charles Palliser (4/10/08). The longest, most demanding book I read in 2008, but clearly the best. I gave an extensive review at the time. This book is not for the faint-hearted, but the investment the reader has to make is well worth it.

2. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes, Book Three by Bill Watterson (10/18/08). Reading Calvin and Hobbes is both an exhilirating and depressing experience. Exhilirating because nearly every strip literally makes me laugh out loud. Depressing because I realize how cruddy every other comic strip in the world is by comparison.

3. Manhunt: The 12-Day Chase for Lincoln’s Killer by James L. Swanson (10/16/08). This is a gripping narrative of John Wilkes Booth's escape and capture. Swanson does a great job of presenting the information in an exciting way, almost making us cheer for Booth, but in the end, happy to see him brought to justice. I would really like to see a movie based on this book.

4. The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett (6/5/08). Excellent mystery novel, with interesting characters and plot points. One of the things I liked best about it was the way Hammett cleverly "wrote around" the things his characters did that would be scandalous to a 1930 audience. He never uses the swear words, and he never describes the sex scenes, but they're there. Modern authors could take a cue - Hammett comes off as a better storyteller while still keeping his characters real and a little despicable.

5. 1776 by David McCullough (7/18/08). McCullough is a fabulous writer who can bring history to life like few others can. This history of the first year of the Revolutionary War is divided into different sections about the siege of Boston, the Battle of New York, etc. I hope he writess 1777 through 1783, because he left George Washington in the lurch!

6. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien (5/2/08). I don't know if there's a more likable character in all of fiction than Bilbo Baggins. Or a creepier one than Gollum.

7. Dracula by Bram Stoker (10/30/08). For a book in which very little action ever happens, and on top of that, for a vampire book in which vampires rarely appear, this was an enjoyable read. It's a lot more about the people who face Dracula than it is about Dracula himself, and I learned a lot about vampires.

8. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson (5/3/08). We all know about how Dr. Jekyll turns into Mr. Hyde, but the fascinating part is how he deals with it after it's done.

9. The Hunt for Red October by Tom Clancy (6/17/08). Exactly what you'd want and expect out of this kind of book, Clancy keeps the action going, uses a lot of Naval terminology that is somewhat confusing but ultimately gritty and realistic, and he makes us cheer when the good guys win.

10. Dinner with Dad by Cameron Stracher (3/3/08). A memoir of a year when a New York lawyer makes a goal to be home with his family for dinner (and to make their dinner). I related more to the themes of caring for one's family and being a good father and helping your kids grow and learn than to the themes of work-life balance for a lawyer.

11. The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux (1/19/08). I was surprised at how closely the musical hews to the book. The Phantom comes across more as a monster than as a misunderstood genius, though.

12. My Man Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse (4/8/08). I honestly can't separate in my mind all the various Jeeves stories I've now read. This collection was on audiobook, a format which I recommend for Jeeves - you cannot read the text of a Wodehouse story without hearing it in a thick British accent, and hearing it that way helps a lot. Funny, funny, funny.

13. The Long Tail by Chris Anderson (11/13/08). This book was based on a magazine article by the author, and at times it felt like there was only enough material for one substantial magazine article. He explains how today's markets are concentrating more on a wide variety of things that only sell a few copies each, but doesn't do a lot to extend his theories outside of the intellectual property markets like music and movies.

14. The Worst Journey in the World by Apsley Cherry-Garard (9/3/08). A first-hand account of Robert Scott's ill-fated attempt to be the first to reach the South Pole in 1912 (the Norwegians beat him there by a couple of weeks, and Scott and three others died on the way back). Parts of it bog down with way too much detail, but parts of it really affected me emotionally as various members of the party made great sacrifices for each other.

15. Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen (8/29/08). I think this is my favorite Jane Austen novel (and I've now read four of the six), because the characters are more believable, the guy is likable, and Austen is - get this - actually funny sometimes.

16. Seventh Son by Orson Scott Card (7/24/08). I've meant to continue reading the other books in this series of fantasy novels based (very!) loosely on the life of Joseph Smith, but haven't gotten around to it. I imagine the more I read and the more I get into this alternate magical America Card has created, the more I'll like the books.

17. How the States Got Their Shapes by Marc Stein (12/10/08). Great idea, poorly executed. Stein endeavors to tell us the "why" behind every state border in the country, but he makes the inexplicable decision to organize it alphabetically by state, rather than geographically. This means when you're reading about Alabama, you have to flip forward to Mississippi to learn the details of their shared border, and by the time you're reading about Virginia or so, you already know everything he's going to say because you've read all the states that border it. That said, it's fascinating to learn things like the reason Michigan, not Wisconsin, has the Upper Peninsula (it was a consolation prize because Ohio got Toledo).

18. Musicophilia by Oliver Sacks (1/16/08). Kind of a clinical history of the author's patients with music-related mental disorders. Due to to his background, it's focused more on the neurology than the musicology, but it's an interesting read nonetheless.

19. Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ by Lew Wallace (2/27/08). The best-selling American novel of the Nineteenth Century (and the first third of the Twentieth!), and with good reason. Sometimes Ben-Hur can be a little superhuman, and I had trouble understanding and relating to his motivation (really - revenge should only take one so far), but he sure gets into some exciting situations.

20. The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells (4/22/08). The Invisible Man, it turns out, is a nasty meanie who uses his invisibility for his own advantage. He really has no redeeming qualities about him. It would have been better had Wells made him more of a real person with conflicts and personality.

21. Marley and Me by John Grogan (4/17/08). Pleasant memoir about life starting a family with "the world's worst dog." I've heard the movie that just came out can't decide if it's a movie about a dog or a movie about a family, and I guess I feel kind of the same way about the book.

22. Sojourner in the Promised Land by Jan Shipps (8/3/08). A collection of essays and articles by the foremost non-Mormon scholar of Mormonism, whom I met at a book club to discuss this book. It's interesting to get an outsider's perspective, and it was even more interesting talking to her about it.

23. My Grandfather’s Son by Clarence Thomas (1/4/08). This autobiography is just what you'd expect from Justice Thomas. It's a bit self-serving - he explains how underprivileged he was so you'll be impressed at where he ended up, he paints Anita Hill as a weirdo if not an outright villain, etc. - but I still feel that I came to understand him and where he's coming from.

24. The Backslider by Levi S. Peterson (10/7/08). Regarded as one of the preeminent examples of Mormon fiction, I was surprised at the amount of sex and profanity it contained, considering its primary audience. It's the story of the struggle of a rural Utah ranch hand in the 1950s to come to accept and believe in and - here's the hard part - live his religion. I'm not sure I agree with the doctrinal conclusion (the doctrine of the "Cowboy Jesus"), but it did give me a different (true or not) perspective on my people.

25. Boomsday by Christopher Buckley (7/3/08). This is a satirical novel in which it's proposed that the government give incentives for senior citizens to commit suicide ("voluntary transitioning," it's called) so as to save Social Security. The story is fun, but I felt like it just ended all of a sudden once the modest proposal is adopted, without exploring the consequences (maybe that was the point).

26. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby (9/17/08). The amazing thing about this book isn't so much what it says (frankly, I can't remember much of what it says only a couple of months later, and it's very, very short anyway), but the fact that it exists at all. Bauby had a stroke that left his mind intact, but his body entirely paralyzed except for his eyes. He dictated this memoir by blinking in code, letter by letter.

27. Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass by Frederick Douglass (3/1/08). I can understand why people at the time thought Douglass had someone else ghost-write his autobiography for him. I don't share their beliefs that blacks are inherently inferior, but I'm still amazed that someone with only a slave-level education could be so eloquent. A moving screed against the horrors of slavery.

28. The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson (5/10/08). I've never been able to get into Bill Bryson like some other people. He seems superficial and trite to me sometimes. Nevertheless, this memoir of his childhood (I wonder how much of it is actually true) made me wish I had grown up in the '50s too.

29. The Story of My Life by Helen Keller (3/20/08). Another autobiography of someone who overcame substantial odds. Keller and her teacher Anne Sullivan come across as heroes and angels, but I couldn't help thinking throughout, "Where are this girl's parents?" They totally left the raising of their child to Sullivan. Imagine what Keller could have done with familial support as well as a good teacher.

30. The Call of the Wild by Jack London (5/27/08). No dog is as tough as Buck. But I suppose that's the point. London is trying to show his progression from pampered lap-dog to fierce beast.

31. My Life by Bill Clinton (abridged) (11/17/08). My main criticism is a lack of detail, but that's probably what I get for getting the abridged version. I actually listened to this on audiobook, read by the author. His familiar voice expressing hatred for Newt Gingrich or regret for Monica Lewinsky added a lot to the emotion of the story. I learned a lot about what I was missing when I didn't pay attention to politics as a teenager and young adult.

32. Mormonism: The Story of a New Religious Tradition by Jan Shipps (8/7/08). I figured if I was going to meet Jan Shipps, I might as well read as much of her work as I could get my hands on. This one is just a basic history of the LDS Church, with the thesis that we are different from and equal to the other major religious traditions such as traditional Christianity, Islam, Judaism, etc.

33. The Search by John Batelle (2/4/08). A narrative history of search engines generally and Google specifically. It didn't leave that much of an impression on me.

34. I Love You, Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle (5/24/08). I haven't seen movies like American Pie or Superbad, but I hear they're making a movie based on this book, and I'm certain it will be just like them. This is the book from this year that I most regret finishing - it had more objectionable content than I should have been willing to put up with, and - the cardinal sin for a comedic farce - it simply was not funny at all.

35. The Wisdom of Crowds by James Surowiecki (9/16/08). Hey, guess what? When you get a bunch of people to guess the number of jellybeans in a jar, the average of their guesses is more accurate than any one person's guess. Who knew?

36. The Millionaire Next Door by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko (5/28/08). Hey, guess what? You'll get rich if you spend less than you earn.

37. The Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (5/20/08). The only horror is putting up with this slogging narrative about some guy's weird fascination with some other guy for an entire novel.

38. The Future of the Internet and How To Stop It by Jonathan Zittrain (11/24/08). I didn't have Professor Zittrain at Harvard Law School, but I met him and I liked him. He's a very interesting person with very interesting interests. It's a wonder he made this book so darn uninteresting and even soporific. His (perhaps important, but certainly boring) thesis is that security concerns will lock down the Internet until it's not something we can use to come up with new ideas anymore. While this was the worst book I read this year, by far it has the best cover - so remember the old adage.

Five Years

2008-12-20T13:26:00.002-05:00

Happy Anniversary, Shelly. The past five years seem to have gone rather quickly, but I guess that's just because I've been having so much fun with you.

I love you.

Music of the Season

2008-12-17T10:27:00.004-05:00

One of the best things about December and Christmastime is that it gives me and Shelly greater reason to get out and go to some concerts. We love Christmas music, and there are a lot of free (and otherwise) Christmas concerts around this great city of ours. Last week there was a stretch where we went to four concerts in a span of seven days.

First was the US Air Force Christmas concert at DAR Constitution Hall. It was free, and it was great. They did the most hilarious version of "The 12 Days of Christmas" I've ever seen - the musical style changed with each verse, including odd musical allusions (the "Five Golden Rings" verse was almost a direct quote of Dave Brubeck's "Take Five," for example). Plus, I saw one of the most unusual sights any human being could ever see over the course of a normal lifetime: a male harpist.

The next day we took the kids to a musical fireside put on by our stake at our church building. Our stake has a wonderful handbell choir, which was joined by a couple of other performances. Clearly the one that made the biggest impression on Ellie was a saxophone duet on "Carol of the Bells." Ever since, whenever that song comes on, she cries out, "Daddy! It's the saxophone song!"
The next day was the Merry TubaChristmas concert at the Kennedy Center. This is the third year in a row we've gone, so I think that qualifies it as a bona fide Astle Family Christmas Tradition. Shelly has her description and photos on her blog. There's something wonderful about the sound of 320 tubas. It's not the best musical performance in the world, as they have only rehearsed for an hour right before the concert, and the group is so large (and includes such varied skill levels - there were people from the military bands as well as several 11-year-olds) it's pretty much an impossible task to keep them all precisely together. But it's the only place you'll hear that wonderful carol, "Santa Wants a Tuba for Christmas."

We took three days off, and then we went to the National Symphony Orchestra Pops Holiday Concert for the second year in a row. This is Shelly's favorite concert of the year, and I think it's cute that she thinks it counts as going to the symphony. I guess, technically, there is a symphony orchestra there, and they did play some Tchaikovsky (Nutcracker) and Schubert (Ave Maria). But I also like the very non-symphony parts like the conductor bantering with the audience, and the guest performers. Last year they had an a cappella group, and this year there was a dixieland band and a gospel choir. That ain't no symphony!

Every time I go to a live concert I think how much I wish I went to more live concerts. There's something about being in the presence of the music as it's created, about feeling the actual sound waves that are created by the instruments and travel through the air with no earphones or speakers or other intermediaries to your ears (and let me tell you, 320 tubas make a lot of sound waves), and about the great feeling of comraderie with the musicians and other audience members that I really enjoy.

For Father's Day and my birthday this past year, Shelly let me choose two real symphony concerts to go to, and they're coming up in January (Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique at the Kennedy Center) and February (Saint-Saens's Organ Symphony at the Strathmore Hall in Bethesda). Plus, Ellie is old enough to start going to some of the children's concerts around town all year. Hopefully that will be a good start to a 2009 full of more live music.

Everybody Yells At Toby

2008-12-13T14:18:00.021-05:00

The Project

For nearly two years, Shelly and I have invested a portion of our lives to a very serious project that we recently completed. We decided that we would watch every episode of The West Wing on DVD. I think it was Shelly's idea to choose that particular TV series (which is why I have taken the prerogative to choose that we next tackle Northern Exposure), but I had seen enough episodes to know one important thing about The West Wing.

Everybody yells at Toby.

Toby Ziegler is the White House Communications Director in the show, played by Richard Schiff. Toby is somewhat morose, a little combative, and often prickly. He's not your ideal co-worker. Which is why, when we started the endeavor of watching the entire series from front to back, I decided to make a scientific study out of it. I wanted to see if my theory that everybody yells at Toby is true. This is my scientific report.

The Procedure

First, I counted every scene in which Toby appeared. I did not count scenes where he did not have a line (for example, a big meeting or event where he sat in the audience and listened to someone else talking). Sometimes, due to cross-cut editing, I counted two shots of Toby separated by a shot of someone else somewhere else as a single scene. Frankly, it wasn't as cut-and-dry as you'd think it would be to determine the number of scenes Toby appeared in.

Second, I counted every instance in which someone yelled at Toby. Again, this was a somewhat subjective measure. There were scenes where people raised their voice to Toby but were not truly angry at him. There were times when people were very angry at him, but did not raise their voice (like his final encounter with the President). I did not count instances where voices were not raised, but may have counted some instances where true anger was not the emotion of the yeller. I also made note of who the yeller was in each instance.

Third, starting at the beginning of Season Six, I counted every instance in which Toby yelled at someone else. I really should have thought of doing this from the beginning, because, as the data from Seasons Six and Seven show, Toby yells more often than he is yelled at (he yells 28 times in those two seasons, and is yelled at 22 times). Indeed, most people who yell at Toby are really yelling back when Toby yells at them.

Sadly, although I collected them, the data for Season One were lost. I rejoiced when the very first scene in which Toby appears in the pilot episode shows him on a plane, and the stewardess yells at him because he won't shut off his cell phone. If anything, more people yelled at Toby in Season One than later on.

The Data

From Seasons Two through Seven (a total of 130 episodes), Toby appeared in 680 scenes. In those scenes, Toby was yelled at 115 times, for a Toby Ratio of nearly 17%. Yes, Toby gets yelled at in 17% of his encounters with his fellow beings. Who do you know in real life that can match that percentage? There are two episodes, both in Season Seven, where the Toby Ratio reaches 100%. There are ten additional episodes where it is 50% or higher. Here is a graph of the breakdown of the Toby Ratio, season by season.

Toby Ratio By Season

For a little bit more detail, here is another graph that shows, episode by episode, the number of Toby scenes, the times people yell at Toby, and the time Toby yells.

Total Toby Yelling By Episode

You can see how Toby was kind of left by the wayside starting toward the end of Season Six and into Season Seven, when he got in trouble with the law. But you can also see how the yelling per scene increased.

Toby didn't get along equally with everyone he encountered. Here's the breakdown of the 115 yells according to yeller.

Who Yells At Toby

That line labeled "Guest" is a conglomerate of all the guest stars and miscellaneous characters who yell at Toby. They include various Republican aides and elected officials, the White House press corps, and various lawyers, among others. In one episode in Season Two, Toby was yelled at by a crowd of several thousand WTO protesters, but I only counted it as one yelling. No individual guest yelled at Toby more than twice.

So it turns out C.J. is the top Toby-yeller, which makes sense since they work so closely together and have a longstanding friendship. In fact, Toby's last scene in the series is an encounter at his home between him and C.J., where they both end up yelling at each other. In one episode, C.J. pinches Toby in anger, but she doesn't yell. I didn't count that.

Josh is the second-biggest yeller, but he should get special recognition here as the only person to throw a punch at Toby. There's a scene during Season Six where they get into an argument about Josh's leaving the White House to run a presidential campaign, and the yelling escalates to violence. So while that only counted as one instance in my data, it should be noted that it was the zenith of anti-Toby sentiment in the series.

Honorable mention goes to the Secret Service agent in Season Five who yelled at Toby and then had to tackle him when Toby tried to get out of a locked-down room with Will Bailey (who yelled at him three times in that episode alone).

An interesting character is Andy, Toby's ex-wife. According to IMDB, she only appears in 15 episodes in Seasons Two through Seven (and one in Season One), but she yells at Toby seven times. That's an average of one yell per 2.1 episodes (and it should be noted that she appears in one episode - the second-to-last one - that Toby does not appear in. Compare that to CJ's average of one yell per 5.7 episodes. Clearly Andy is the character with whom Toby has the rockiest relationship.

A few notable characters are not on this list. Of the show's regulars, Charlie Young, Kate Harper, and Annabeth Schott never yelled at Toby (though, as shown below, Toby yelled at Kate and Annabeth, making Charlie the character with whom Toby has the best relationship).

The next graph shows the people Toby yells at in Seasons Six and Seven.

Toby's Yellees, Seasons Six and Seven

The Conclusion

So while it may not be literally true that everybody yells at Toby, he certainly does get himself into a lot of yelling situations. Yet I must admit that after spending two years of my life carefully watching his every move, Toby is one of my favorite characters. He is very complex and interesting, and I really missed him when he stopped appearing in every episode. He may be, in Andy's words, "too sad," but he's one of the reasons it was so enjoyable watching seven seasons of The West Wing.

The End of the Season

2008-12-07T22:03:00.003-05:00

The college football regular season came to an end this week, so it's time to address the injustices the system has perpretrated this year, and other related thoughts.

Boise State Got Jobbed
Two-loss Ohio State received the final BCS at-large bid over an undefeated Boise State. When it comes down to the merits of the football, this is close to an outrage. Although Boise didn't play the toughest schedule in the country, they did beat the #17-ranked team (at the time) on the road and didn't lose a game to anyone. Ohio State, on the other hand, lost to two very good ranked teams and their best win was at Michigan State, ranked #20 at the time. The reason for their selection is obvious: Ohio State will put more butts in seats than Boise will. That is the one and only reason, pure and simple, and it's no use complaining about it. What we should complain about is that the system cares more about butts in seats than it does about rewarding excellence on the field.

The silver lining for Boise State is that it gets a very good bowl match-up against TCU in the Poinsettia Bowl. This will be the best of the non-BCS bowls, and it will certainly be better than at least the Orange Bowl and maybe the Rose Bowl and Fiesta Bowl too. But I was hoping this game wouldn't happen. I want both TCU and Boise State to win their bowl games. Ranked teams from the non-BCS conferences need to win in the postseason to shore up the strength of the anti-BCS argument. Now, one of these teams will have to lose, and will drop in the rankings and in national respect. And I don't know how to cheer. Do I cheer for TCU, so that the Mountain West Conference will put one more feather in its cap for the best season it's ever had? (Can you imagine if the MWC goes 5-0 against Alabama, Boise State, Arizona, Fresno State, and Houston?) Or do I cheer for Boise State, my unofficial second-favorite team, to remain undefeated and show that it can play with tough teams and that it really deserved a shot at something bigger? I might just watch the game as a dispassionate observer. But I definitely am watching it.

Roll Over the Tide
I think Utah got its ideal matchup against Alabama. Alabama is a (suddenly) elite team in the supposedly most powerful conference that spent a good deal of the season ranked #1. Yet they're vulnerable and they'll certainly be smarting from their loss to Florida in the SEC championship game which could lead to a case of "I-don't-really-want-to-be-here." The only problem for the Utes is that the crowd will likely favor Alabama. This Cougar fan will be cheering for the Utes (as, I must admit, I generally do when they're not playing BYU).

Not All One-Loss Teams Are Created Equal
Let's all just accept that there's a glass ceiling for non-BCS teams. Utah and Boise State had no hopes of rising any higher than #6 or so, and they didn't, regardless of their records. But I'm puzzled at the logic of the selections for the championship game. There are a lot of one-loss teams from BCS conferences that could make a case that they should be in. And as it always seems to be, the teams whose one loss occurred earlier in the season fared the best. That's the only explanation why Florida, which lost in September at home to an unranked team gets in over Texas, which lost on the road in November to the then-#7 team in the country. Or Alabama, which lost at a neutral site to the #4 team. OK, you may say, but Texas and Alabama didn't even win their conferences,* and the head-to-head matchups between Texas and Oklahoma (would we really have wanted a rematch for the national title?) and between Alabama and Florida (called a de-facto semifinal) have to count for something. And that's so. But when you stack up their body of work over the season without regard to when the losses happened, you can make a pretty good case that Alabama, Texas, Texas Tech, and even USC had a better season than Florida. And Texas is clearly better than Oklahoma because they beat them. Can't we get a playoff?

How It Should Work
I stated at the beginning of the season that I would stop harping for a playoff that will never happen and instead simply advocate one simple rule change (that, incidentally, will also never happen): do away with any automatic bids to BCS games. Instead, I wish they would just select the six highest-ranked conference champions and then fill the games out with at-large selections. I also wish the at-large teams were the four highest-ranked non-conference-champions, regardless of the butts-in-seats factor. Under that scenario, we'd actually have the same scenario we currently have, except Boise State (WAC Champ) and Texas Tech (third-highest ranked non-champion, after Texas and Alabama, which did get at-large bids in real life) would be playing in the Orange Bowl instead of the crappy Cincinnati-Virginia Tech game no one wants to see. (See, the Big East and ACC's automatic bids would be usurped by Utah and Boise State, since the MWC and WAC champions were ranked higher.)

If you want to keep the current rule that no single conference can send more than two teams to the BCS (and I can see the logic in that rule), then TCU, as the fifth-highest-ranked non-conference-champion, would take Texas Tech's place against Boise State, who, incidentally, they are playing in the Poinsettia Bowl. So I guess this year things did work out pretty well. I just have to pretend that the Poinsettia Bowl is a BCS game and the Orange Bowl isn't.

All that said, my ideal scenario would be a 16-team playoff including all 11 conference champions and five at-large bids (again, the five highest-ranked non-conference-champions). Seed according to the BCS standings (and in this scenario, I say it's OK to allow as many teams from one conference as deserve it). Play the first round at the higher-ranked team's home field the week after the conference championship games and then use bowl games for the eight winners. Here's how it would look this year:

#16 Buffalo (MAC Champ) at #1 Oklahoma (Big 12 Champ)
#15 Troy (Sun Belt Champ) at #2 Florida (SEC Champ)
# 14 East Carolina (C-USA Champ) at #3 Texas (At-large)
#13 Virginia Tech (ACC Champ) at #4 Alabama (At-large)
#12 Cincinnati (Big East Champ) at #5 USC (Pac-10 Champ)
#11 TCU (At-large) at #6 Utah (MWC Champ)
#10 Ohio State (At-large) at #7 Texas Tech (At-large)
#9 Boise State (WAC Champ) at #8 Penn State (Big 10 Champ)

Who wouldn't love to see that? The only downside to these results is that TCU already played and lost at Utah. Assuming all the higher seeds win in the first round (which in college football is never a given - that's why we like it so much), the losers could go play their regular bowl games, and you'd then have:

Oklahoma-Penn State in the Orange Bowl
Florida-Texas Tech in the Cotton Bowl
Texas-Utah in the Holiday Bowl
Alabama-USC in the Gator Bowl

Every one a spectacular game. The next round could feature Oklahoma and Alabama in the Sugar Bowl, Florida and Texas in the Rose Bowl, and then if they earned it by getting through it all, Oklahoma and Florida could finally meet the second week of January in the championship game (which needs a name like the Ultimate Bowl, the Diamond Bowl, or at least the Champion Bowl). That would be a championship game they deserved.

In the words of Susie Derkins, as long as I'm dreaming, I'd like a pony.

* Unlike most people, I don't support changing the Big 12's three-way tiebreaker that put Oklahoma instead of Texas into the Big 12 title game (a simple referral to the BCS standings). It's designed to give the league its best possible chance to have a team play for the national title by allowing its highest rated team play for the conference championship. The SEC's tiebreaker, which just refers to the BCS standings to throw out the lowest of the three tied teams and then reverts to head-to-head results between the top two, could create some even uglier scenarios. Imagine if Texas had lost a nonconference game or two. The SEC's tiebreaker would have sent them to the league championship game anyway, but they would have been ranked much lower and wouldn't have a chance at the national title.

Taking Your Medicine

2008-12-01T23:29:00.003-05:00

This is now old news, but the other day Ellie came down with an ear infection. She was crying and complaining about the pain in her ear, and I volunteered (and simultaneously was assigned by Shelly) the task of taking her to the doctor in the evening when we were able to get a last-minute appointment. I still get a weird sort of joy of taking care of a tired or sick child, because they are very cuddly and clingy, which is kind of endearing, even if they are going through pain or discomfort.

So for the next ten days, Ellie was supposed to take her medicine twice a day, which brings me to my point. Ellie just loves medicine. Sometimes she'll just ask for medicine, out of the blue, when she's well, like it's candy. Over the course of her treatment, it was Ellie who remembered she needed to take her medicine almost as often as it was us. She - not I - would insist on sucking every last drop off the dropper.

Perhaps I just have a weird kid, but I'm convinced that at least part of it is some major advances in medicine techology since the time I was a child (which already featured leaps and bounds beyond what my parents had to deal with as children). Medicine these days actually tastes good. So much for the spoonful of sugar.

Baby Steps

2008-11-14T13:20:00.002-05:00

It happened last night. Annie took her first unassisted steps.

We were getting ready for the bath, and I had Annie in the bathroom and was taking off her shirt. She was standing up and relying on my grip on her shirt to keep her balance. As the shirt came over her head, she took two wobbly but fast steps toward the tub so she could grab onto the side.

It wasn't pretty, and she certainly isn't likely to do it again anytime soon (she has a mental block - she doesn't think she can stand up and balance by herself without holding onto something, even though she can), but she did it and the whole family was there to witness it.

Does this mean she's not a baby anymore?

All That Jazz

2008-11-13T14:12:00.005-05:00

Last night the Utah Jazz were in town to play the Washington Wizards, so a couple of friends and I decided to go. We got cheap tickets in the upper bowl, where the view looked a lot like it looks on TV.

Perhaps the most entertaining part of the evening was during the pregame shootaround, when I noticed Andrei Kirilenko was talking to and then hugging a gray-haired man in a suit on the side of the court. When Kirilenko left and Carlos Boozer came over to shake the man's hand, I noticed that it was Senator Orrin Hatch. Each Jazzman, in turn, made the rounds to greet the senator, though a couple of them clearly (from the upper bowl, even) appeared to be thinking, "Who is this guy? He thinks he's so important he can just interrupt our shootaround and shake everyone's hand?" I looked away for a moment, and then Orrin was gone. He'd done what he came to do: greet some of his most famous constituents. (But apparently the non-U.S.-citizen Kirilenko is his biggest supporter on the Jazz, since he was the only one who gave a hug in addition to a handshake. I was hoping someone would give Orrin a pat on the bottom, but alas.)

Another non-basketball comment. The previous evening during a game in Philadelphia, Paul Millsap had sustained a small cut on his cheek that required three stitches. He wore a Band-Aid on his face. I could see the Band-Aid from the upper bowl. Ever since I was small, I have wondered: why don't they make Band-Aids for black people? You'd think if dark-colored Band-Aids existed, an NBA team would be able to get its hands on one. Oh well. Maybe that's something President Obama can work on.

As for the game itself, it was a lot of fun. Although the Jazz lost thanks to a last-minute collapse, they led for most of the game, and it was fun to listen for the cheers of the scattered Jazz fans throughout the Verizon Center, especially when Ronnie Brewer drained a near-half-court buzzer-beater at the end of the first quarter. My friends and I chatted and ate disgusting popcorn and talked about how great Kosta Koufos might turn out to be, how it's weird that Kyle Korver has the reputation for being a three-point specialist when he can't hit a three-pointer to save his life, and how the Jazz have a disproportionately high number of players with K names (Koufos, Korver, Kirilenko, Knight). It probably would have been a different experience had we been closer to the action, able to hear the players' words and feel the vibrations of their feet on the hardwood, but the live sports atmosphere was great. It sure beats a baseball game, anyway.

The Source of Frustration

2008-11-12T18:35:00.002-05:00

Saturday evening Shelly and I took advantage of our babysitting swap program to go out to eat at a fancy restaurant in DC. In May, I had received through a work contact a gift certificate for $150 for this particular place.

We went back in May and spent $77 on good but still overpriced food. The waitress gave us a receipt showing that we still had $73 of our $150 left. She told us to bring the receipt in the next time and it would act as our gift certificate for the remainder of our credit. So we saved it and brought it in on Saturday.

We had a great meal. My chicken was excellent and Shelly enjoyed some kobe sliders ($4 mini-hamburgers). When it came time to pay our $80 bill, we handed the waitress the receipt from last time and my credit card to cover the difference. She left to go process it.

That's when the fun started. Over the course of the next 20 minutes or so, we were approached three times by two different manager-level types. Rather than describing each frustrating conversation, suffice to say that we were informed that the restaurant's official policy was that any unused portion of a gift certificate is forfeited (in fact, it goes to the waiter as a TIP!). We protested that this is not what we were informed, as evidenced by the fact that we saved the receipt for six months, showed up again, and ordered $80 worth of overpriced food. Back and forth, back and forth. They tried to convince us that the line saying "No cash refund for any unused portion" on the gift certificate meant that we forfeited the store credit. Then they tried to go halvsies, claiming that's what would be "fair for everyone," essentially offering to allow us to only pay $40 for a meal that was all-but-$7 already paid for. Yeah. Fair.

We resisted and resisted, insisting that they honor the full value of the certificate until the manager threw up her arms and said, "Fine. I'll pay for it. I don't want you to be unhappy" in a very guilt-inflicting tone of voice. She even went so far as to try to stop us from paying the $7 difference and the tip, but we prevailed on that, insisting that we were just trying to be honest.

I'm not posting the name of the restaurant to shame them because in the end they did the right thing and honored their gift certificate. But it didn't come without a fight. Next time I try to use store credit at a restaurant, I'll talk to the waiter BEFORE ordering. If we'd done that this time, I'd have missed out on an excellent but overpriced dinner.

Do We Still Have A Shot?

2008-11-06T23:43:00.004-05:00

Now that Utah's victory over TCU is in the books, the picture is a bit clearer for the BCS and BYU. The big Nov. 22 BYU-Utah game we've been talking about all season just got bigger.

Of course, if Utah wins the BYU game, they go to a BCS bowl. They'd be ranked near the middle of the top ten in the BCS standings and no other non-BCS team could pass them. I'm all about BCS-busting, but frankly I'd rather it not be Utah. Especially since Utah has already done it and BYU hasn't.

What is interesting is what will happen if BYU wins out. A big road win over a top-10 foe (one which proved against TCU that it belongs) would be huge for BYU. There would be a three-way tie for the Mountain West championship, as BYU, Utah, and TCU would all have gone 1-1 against each other. But what matters is the BCS standings.

I think BYU still has a legitimate shot at a BCS bowl if:
      1) BYU wins out, AND
      2) Either of the following happens:
           a) Boise State loses a game, OR
           b) Both of the following happen:
                I) Ohio State loses a game AND
                II) Oregon State loses a game.

If Boise loses, the Cougars would rise above them and quite possibly be the top-ranked non-BCS team once again. The only question would be where TCU would fall, but as all college football programs know, if you're going to lose, it's best to lose early. Plus, TCU now has two total losses. I could see a one-loss non-BCS BCS-buster, but not a two-loss one.

Problem is, Boise probably isn't going to lose (plus, I like Boise State, so I don't want to root for that to happen). So we turn our hopes to the BCS conferences for some help. As I explained recently, if the Big Ten finishes with only one team in the top 14 of the BCS standings (i.e. Penn State), then there won't be enough eligible BCS-conference teams to fill all four at-large spots for BCS bowls, given the mediocrity of the Pac-10, ACC, and Big East. That means two BCS-busters, and BYU could make it along with Boise. But I harbor no delusions that any bowl game, BCS or not, would voluntarily choose BYU when Ohio State is available.

Why do I mention Oregon State, an unranked 5-3 team? Because if they don't lose, they win the Pac-10 with one conference loss by virtue of their tiebreaking win over USC. Oregon State would then go to the Rose Bowl and USC would certainly be picked over BYU (or any other team at all for that matter) as a BCS at-large.

You know, sometimes, deep down in my heart, I really don't wish that they would institute a playoff. This BCS mess is so messy, it's kinda fun sometimes.

Moral of the story: Go BYU, and Boo to any team named OSU.*

* Apologies to Oklahoma State, but I mean you too. Recently I was wishing you in the title game, but after your loss to Texas and Texas Tech's win, my new, more realistic hope, is that Texas Tech gets to the title game. That means they must defeat Oklahoma State on Saturday.

Happy Birthday to Belle

2008-11-06T10:21:00.002-05:00

As if one birthday this week weren't enough, it's now Annie's birthday too. As I write at about 10:20 in the morning, it was almost a year ago right now that she was born. And life has never been the same since.

Annie is so sweet and cute. She's always anxious to explore and smile and be with people. She's beginning to do things that, when she perfects them, will qualify her as a non-baby, such as standing up (and hopefully walking soon), communicating via sign, and eating real food. Just this morning, she crawled up to the chair where I was sitting and I said, "Hi, Ann!" She said, and I kid you not, "Hi, Da!" I doubt she was really trying to say hi to me, but it's so exciting that she's gaining this type of skill.

I look forward to many more years of my sweet little Annie-Belle. I sure do love you, Sweetie.

Happy Birthday to Boo

2008-11-04T10:12:00.002-05:00

Today when I came home from voting (which took about an hour and a half!) before work, Ellie was hiding under the piano. Her current thing is hiding from people when they come into the room. When she came out, I said, "Come here, Ellie. I have something to say to you."

"What is it, Daddy?"

I grabbed her and snuggled her on my lap in the middle of the living room floor and sang "Happy Birthday" to her.

Three years ago today I became a daddy. The most incredible and demanding and fulfilling stage of my life began. As she's growing up, Ellie is turning into a real person with a cute personality all her own.

But what I love most about Ellie right now is the fact that she just unconditionally loves me and her mom. Every now and then, she'll tell me, out of the blue, "Daddy, you're my favorite daddy!" or "Daddy, you're the funniest guy in the whole world!" The other day I let her stay up a little late to watch "Pooh's Heffalump Halloween Movie" with me. She snuggled up in a blanket on my lap and we had a really fun time together.

I love my little Ellie-Boo. Happy Birthday, Sweetie.

Everything I Needed to Know About Vampires I Learned from Bram Stoker

2008-10-31T10:06:00.004-04:00

Yesterday (right on time) I finished Bram Stoker's classic "Dracula." And what an eye-opener it was. I thought I knew all about vampires, until I went to the source. Sure, some semblance of the mythology of vampires probably existed before 1897, when Stoker published his masterpiece, but as the man who codified and popularized that mythology, Stoker is the ultimate authority. It turns out there are a lot of untrue myths we've come to accept about vampires. Here's a sampling of some of the things I learned.

Myth: Vampires don't like garlic.
Fact: It's not the garlic bulb (the part we use as a spice) they don't like - it's the flowers. Make a wreath out of garlic flowers and put it around your neck - that'll protect you.

Myth: Vampires die if they're out and about when the sun rises.

Fact: Vampires can survive in the daylight just fine, thank you very much. They just can't work their special powers, such as turning into a bat or mist. Therefore they choose to be awake during the night when they're more powerful.

Myth: The way to repel a vampire is by using garlic or a crucifix.
Fact: Those will work, but the best way is to use some sacred wafer from the Holy Communion. Put a crumb trail of that in a ring on the ground, stand inside it, and you're 100% safe. Also, put a bit in the vampire's empty coffin and he can't ever come back to it (Dracula always kept spares for this reason). I wonder if Mormon sacrament bread would have the same effect.

Myth: Vampires go around biting people willy-nilly all the time.
Fact: Vampires only bite people of the opposite sex, and aren't very promiscuous about it; they'll focus on one person till they join the vampire in vampirehood. (Brand-new vampires, however, appear to fixate on children.)

Myth: When a vampire bites you, you die and turn into a vampire.

Fact: When a vampire bites you, you lose some blood, but not enough to die. However, when you do die (of whatever cause), you then turn into a vampire if the vampire who bit you is still alive - er, undead. A vampire may continue biting the same person over the course of several days, gradually sucking their blood until there isn't enough left to sustain life. Repeated blood transfusions can help.

Myth: To kill a vampire, drive a wooden stake through his heart.
Fact: Any sharp implement will do (not to spoil anything, but Dracula met his end at the wrong end of a Bowie knife). But you should also cut off his head and stuff his mouth with garlic flowers.

What to Cheer For

2008-10-22T22:00:00.004-04:00

Now that my BYU Cougars have been beaten by what was, at least last Thursday night, a superior TCU team, the principal aim I've been hoping for in the college football world - a BYU berth in a BCS game - seems nearly impossible. The far-fetched idea of BYU playing for the national championship is truly impossible. So what's a Cougar-loving, BCS-hating football fan to do?

Fear not, I've come up with three things I'd love to see happen over the course of the second half of the college football season, each of which is certainly possible. The cards just have to shake out right.

1. Oklahoma State in the National Championship Game. The thing about college football is that not only does it discriminate against teams that aren't from one of the cartel conferences, but it also has a strong disfavor toward even cartel-conference teams that aren't one of the traditional powers (i.e. Ohio State, USC, Texas, Oklahoma, LSU, Florida...). A team like Oklahoma State, which has always been a middle-of-the-road team, always get the championship shaft. But OSU is undefeated and looking pretty good. If they keep playing as well as they have been, they could wind up in the national championship game, and a barrier will be broken similar to the one broken when Utah went to the Fiesta Bowl in 2004.

2. TCU in a BCS Game. TCU has a chance to break yet another barrier: they can be the first one-loss BCS-buster. Their only loss of the season was on the road to then-de-facto-#1 Oklahoma. TCU has already knocked off #9 BYU, and in two weeks Utah should be in the top 10 and TCU will beat them too. If they were in the SEC or Pac-10 or probably even the Big East, a resume like that would get TCU into the championship game. Coming from the Mountain West, it should at least get them into a BCS game. Then we will never have to say that a non-cartel-conference team has to go undefeated to get into a decent bowl game.

3. Two BCS Busters. TCU should not have to be alone. The way things are shaping up, it's not unlikely that there could actually be two non-cartel-conference teams in BCS games. Only one such team can be guaranteed an automatic berth; other non-cartel-conference teams can qualify for and be selected for a BCS game just like any cartel-conference non-champion. But to get in, a BCS bowl would have to voluntarily select them over an eligible cartel-conference team. Unless there aren't enough eligible cartel-conference teams.

BCS rules state that no one conference can have more than two teams in a BCS game. They also state that to be eligible for an at-large berth, a team must be ranked #14 or higher in the final BCS standings. This year, the Big 12 and the SEC have lots of highly-ranked teams, and that can work in favor of the BCS busters. All we need is for no other cartel conference to have a second team ranked in the top 14. And in the initial BCS standings that came out this week, the Big Ten is the only cartel conference that does. Therefore, we should all root hard against Ohio State for the rest of the season. Let Penn State do as well as they want, but do not let a second Big Ten team into the top 14. (There's no way the second-place Pac-10 team will be even close to ranked, let alone #14, and the ACC and Big East champions themselves will be lucky to be in the top 14, let alone the second-place team.) In this scenario, the ten teams in BCS games will be the six cartel conference champions, the second-place teams from the Big 12 and SEC, and two BCS busters - probably the Mountain West champion and Boise State, though if Boise loses a game, the second-place Mountain West team (BYU?) or maybe even Tulsa could make it to the top 14 and be eligible.

And that would be a wonderful thing.

A Night At the Improv

2008-10-20T10:14:00.003-04:00

Yesterday afternoon the whole family was driving in the car. Out of nowhere, Ellie starts singing the Spider-man theme song: "Spider-man! Spider-man! Does whatever a spider can!" Best of all, she had the tune down pat. I laughed and asked Shelly where the heck she learned that. Proudly, Shelly responded, "I taught it to her!"

Not to be outdone, I decided to expand Ellie's repertoire with the Simpsons' version. So I taught her "Spider-pig! Spider-pig! Does whatever a Spider-pig does! Can he swing from a web? No he can't, he's just a pig. Look out! Here comes the Spider-pig!"

Ellie immediately started singing the Spider-pig version, much to Shelly's annoyance. But then the fun started as Ellie realized she could change the words to the song as she pleased.

"Spider-cow! Spider-cow! Have you met the Spider-cow?"

Our laughter encouraged her.

"Spider-Daddy! Spider-Daddy!"

"Spider-duck! Spider-duck!"

"Spider-baby! Spider-baby!"

"Spider-mama! Spider-mama!"

And my favorite, because it rhymes with the original: "Spider-Ann! Spider-Ann!"

All I can say is, look out.

A New Way To Waste Time

2008-10-07T19:11:00.002-04:00

I don't know if this is a big coincidence, or if there's a cause-and-effect relationship going on, but the day before my last blog post (over a month ago) was the day they installed the DirecTV in our house.

We decided to change our television service as a means to be more loyal to the BYU Cougars. Nearly all of their games this season are on the stupid mtn. network (so stupid the official name of the network neither 1. spells out the word "Mountain" nor 2. capitalizes it), and the only way to get it out here is through DirecTV. And even then that's only because of a massive uprising of Mountain West Conference fans who have been pushing to get it distributed better.

So we took a look at the packages available, and found that when we do away with the expanded channel set and the sports pack that are necessary to get the mtn., we'll actually be paying a little bit less for TV service than we were through the local cable company, Cox. Plus, as Shelly has recently documented, we get DVR service for a mere $5 a month (she said $10, but she's wrong).

The best part about the deal was when I called up Cox to discontinue our cable TV service. We also get cable Internet through them and after searching through the available options, it was clear that Cox is our best bet, so I told them that I would like to discontinue the TV service but keep the Internet service. They asked me why I wanted to get rid of the TV, and I told them frankly that there was one particular sports channel that I wanted that DirecTV had and they didn't. Of course, the representative I was speaking with had never heard of the mtn. But then she did a very strange thing. She said, "OK, Mr. Astle. Now, in appreciation for sticking with us on the Internet, I'd like to offer you a $5 per month discount on your Internet service." I heartily accepted her offer, but wondered why she was making it. I had already told her that I was willing to buy her service at the regular price. And then she goes and sells it to me for a lower price. That's not good business. But it's good to me, so I'll take it.

And since we've had everything set up, things have been wonderful. We get all sorts of crazy channels we don't ever watch, XM radio music channels we don't ever listen to, and every single BYU football game this season. We've tried to be generous and invite anyone interested over to watch the games with us. I'm sure we'll be particularly popular on November 22, when the mtn. shows the BYU-Utah game, especially if everyone's dream scenario - two undefeated rivals playing for a BCS game and maybe even the National Championship Game - actually plays out. You're welcome to come over - just bring a snack.

My New Position On College Football (Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The BCS)

2008-08-28T11:03:00.008-04:00

Tonight the first college football games of the season get underway, and my heart is lifted up with joy that the long dark winter of summer (the season with good weather, but without good sports) is finally over. It's like a ray of light.

But the dark gloomy cloud of the BCS still hovers over the college football landscape. Indeed, one of the reasons I love college football so much is because I hate the BCS so much. If the system were perfect, I couldn't fill up with nearly as much righteous indignation, and many games would lose the "it's personal" nature they've taken on for me. In the past I've regularly expressed publicly my specific grievances against the BCS (search "BCS" on this blog and you'll find many entries), so I thought it would be appropriate to present my current stance toward my nemesis as this season begins.

Only, now that I think about it, I've totally changed my mind.

Well, maybe not totally. But today I am announcing that I am taking a new position with respect to the BCS. I'm still opposed to it, but I'm narrowing my reasons and shifting my focus. Most specifically, I am (temporarily) abandoning my previous position that the BCS should be replaced by a playoff.

The Problem

This offseason, I've spent some time every now and then considering what it is about the BCS that chaps my hide.

Is it the fact that it disrupted the old, traditional bowl system, and now you get things like Texas appearing in the Rose Bowl? No.

Is it that it's not a sensible or legitimate way to crown a national champion? That's a problem, but it doesn't bother me very much. There has been some controversy along the way (might Auburn or Utah have been the best team in the country in 2004?), but all in all, the BCS does a decent job of finding the best two teams in the country and letting them duke it out against each other. It's not as pure as a playoff, but it's certainly better than the old bowl system.

No, the thing I hate about the BCS is its artificial creation of a second-class tier of football teams. If you are a member of one of the five "non-BCS" conferences, you are automatically disqualified from the national championship discussion before a single down is played. It's a cartel. It's apartheid. And it's wrong.

That is why I am not going to waste my time this year pining away for a playoff. Besides the fact that it's just never going to happen, that still won't solve the problem. If we were to institute a playoff, it would probably give automatic bids to the six cartel conferences and leave the five second-class conferences at the back of the bus.

The Solution

So even though I realize that my personal opinions are even less likely to be heeded than the nationwide call for a playoff, I now set out my plan for how to fix the problem and bring the whole of Division 1A football onto the same playing field.

We're going to work within the BCS system as it currently exists: participating bowls are the Rose, Fiesta, Sugar, and Orange Bowls, as well as the poorly named BCS National Championship Game. That's ten teams that need to be selected. The problem with the selection process isn't so much the computer polls or the strength-of-schedule component; it's the automatic bid requirements that differ from conference to conference.

Therefore, the solution is simple: make one little tweak to the automatic bid rules. Instead of giving automatic bids to the champions of the PAC-10, Big XII, Big Ten (Eleven), ACC, Big East, and SEC, regardless of ranking in the BCS standings, I propose that we give automatic bids to the six conference champions who are ranked highest in the BCS standings. Most of the time, those will be the same teams.

Notre Dame (and Navy and Army - the other independents get the same treatment as Notre Dame), and teams that finish second in their conference will have to meet the same requirements that they do now. The seventh-highest-ranked conference champion will have to meet the same requirements that a second-place team does in order to be eligible. Then the bowls choose from among the eligible teams to fill out the four at-large spots.

That's it. Just that one change. That's all I'm asking for. It will do wonders for the sport.

A Tale of Two Adaptations

2008-08-27T22:43:00.003-04:00

While we were in Provo for Education Week, we decided to sample the theatrical offerings BYU was putting out there for us. There were two musicals playing at BYU last week, both based on books that are near and dear to many Mormons' hearts: First Nephi and Pride and Prejudice.

Neither one was an actual BYU production, though - the kids are all out of class and nowhere to be seen. "With Mine Own Hand" was written and produced by a group of amateur Mormons from Portland, Ore., and "Pride and Prejudice" was written by some BYU alums and produced by the SCERA Center in Orem (where it ran for a week or two before moving to BYU campus). Both being somewhat non-professional creations and productions, I was interested to see how they turned out.

I learned that not all non-professional creations are created equal.

The big difference between the two shows, and the main reason I liked one of them far more than the other, was in the conception behind the adaptaion. The creators of "With Mine Own Hand" were trying so hard to convey the truth and light of the Book of Mormon that they forgot that they were putting on a stage play. On the other hand, the creators of "Pride and Prejudice" were able to change and chop Austen's busy novel (a novel that resulted in a 6-hour A&E movie, mind you) into a play that built up characters, moved the plot along through various devices, and even paused every now and then for a song.

I kid you not: at least a third of the total running time of "With Mine Own Hand" is a guy (Old Nephi) sitting at a table in a spotlight on an otherwise completely dark stage, reading the exact words of the Book of Mormon to you. Minus the funny headband,* you get that in Family Home Evening. The other two-thirds of the show is when other actors (including Young Nephi) act out the stories he's telling you. It was clear the writers had no idea what is and what is not interesting on stage when they decided what to have the actors portray, and what to have the narrator just talk about. Nephi breaks his bow: narrated in front of a black stage. Nephi talks to his brothers about whether they have inquired of God: acted out. Nephi gives a powerful lecture to his brothers about the power of God and sends an actual shock through their bodies: narrated in front of a black stage. Nephi is shown Christopher Columbus in vision by an angel: acted out by an angel and Nephi pretending to see something. At least Zoram was worth a chuckle (his story is pretty hilarious when you think about it).

"Pride and Prejudice," on the other hand, was a fabulous adaptation. I don't have very much to say about it, because it was so good. I felt that the characters each got their due, the action was moved along by dialogue rather than scenes in order to save time - for example, Lizzie's tour of Pemberley (which would have been boring to act out) was just referred to rather than shown. The songs were catchy. And best of all, the writers gave the faintest inkling of an alteration to Mr. Darcy's character from the way Austen wrote him that almost - almost - made me realize what the circumstances could have been in which Mr. Darcy would come across as a sympathetic character to me. I left wishing they would have expanded some of his soliloquy songs to not just say how he is drawn to Lizzie, but to go a step further and say that because he is drawn to her, he's going to have to put away his pride and his prejudice and change his nature and stop being such a jerk. In the book and all the other adaptations I've seen, Darcy is just a jerk from beginning to end. But in this production, there was a glimmer of someone who realizes he's been a jerk and wants to stop being a jerk. That's the Darcy I want to get to know better. That's someone interesting and worth liking. But alas!

The moral of the story? Don't be so wedded to your source material that you forget what you're doing: entertaining an audience on a stage.

* I blame Arnold Friberg for, among other Mormon artistic ruts, the fact that Nephi is never depicted without a headband, and rarely depicted with a shirt.

The Voyage Westward

2008-08-26T22:03:00.003-04:00

The reason for the two-week-plus hiatus in blogging was our Great Adventure in Utah, some of which has already been chronicled on Shelly's blog. It was a big fat family reunion for the posterity of my parents, and we were all there. My brothers and I have produced 10 grandchildren for my parents so far, so you can imagine the fun and chaos that ensued as we were all together.

We went up to Park City for a couple of days, staying in a ski lodge hotel. We spent our time doing things like riding the Alpine Slide (fun but too expensive), the Alpine Coaster (a roller coaster that Shelly was actually pretty terrified of because it didn't give her a sense of security like the big roller coasters at expensive theme parks do), swimming, and hanging out together. Then the party moved back to Provo to my parents' house for a couple of days, which included the hike to Timpanogos Cave (a lot steeper and harder a climb than I remember it from my teenage years, although I admittedly was not carrying a 2-year-old on my back in those days) and a trip northward to see Shelly's brother and my grandma, who got along with the girls famously (Grandma always did like me best).

The second week of the trip, after all my other brothers had left, was Education Week at BYU. My parents watched the girls (and their cousin Loretta, who was abandoned by her parents when they went back to NYC) and Shelly and I spent all day every day on BYU campus going to classes on everything from the legal troubles that put Joseph Smith in Carthage Jail to be martyred, to how to de-stress your life, to the vision of Enoch in Moses Chapter 7, to the brain function of 3- to 5-year olds, to how to write a personal history, to Adam-Ondi-Ahman.

Overall, the experience was very awesome. Individually, the classes were a bit hit-and-miss. There were moments when I felt the Spirit powerfully or where I learned very interesting and helpful new things and left the class committed to be a better person. There were also times where it was all I could do to keep from falling asleep, or from wanting to slap the instructor around. Part of the frustration was nonconformity between what the instructor actually talked about and what the course catalog indicated would be the topic of discussion. Shelly and I have now decided that in the coming days and weeks we're going to have to have a series of sit-down meetings where we go through the notes we took and pull out the specific things we need to be doing to make our lives better. I left the final class of the week saying that all I needed to do was clone myself a couple of times and I'd be able to do all the things I'd learned I should be doing.

Some random but interesting points from Education Week:

* BYU campus is hugely changed from the way it was when I left there less than 8 years ago. It makes me wonder what it will look like when I drop Ellie off there in the fall of 2024.

* There was a class on, um, marital intimacy that we wanted to attend. The somewhat large room they had scheduled for it was filled to capacity and we ended up in one of at least two overflow rooms. Let this be a message to the leadership of the church: this is a topic the members of the church are interested in talking and learning about.

* In the middle of one class, I got a call from the University Police. It seems my dad's car that we had driven that day had rolled and hit another car in the parking lot (despite the fact that I DID have the parking brake on). There was only minimal scraping to both cars, so it ended up with everyone smiling and pretending nothing ever happened, but it was a harrowing few moments before I knew what exactly was going on.

* I found that I enjoyed the practical classes about how to specifically do something, or the history-type classes where they just presented a series of facts, better than the classes where they meant to inspire you or just talk in general about a particular problem people face in life. Education Week being one gigantic self-help session, I was crying out for more specific things I could to do have a better life (not that I didn't leave with a huge list as it was).

* A lot of classes focused on messages such as "Don't spend more than you earn," "De-clutter and simplify your life," and so forth. Then you step out of class and you're assaulted not only by the BYU Bookstore, which was offering signings signings by dozens of authors and artists throughout the week, but also the annual Piano Lab Sale or the official Bookstore Annex - a separate room where they stocked the books recommended for purchase by each Education Week instructor. It was kind of an interesting dynamic between what you were asked to do in class and what you were asked to do out of class. Fortunately, Shelly and I made it through making only minimum purchases (a Mormon novel and a couple of matching BYU hooded sweatshirts for the girls' birthdays).

Happy Anniversary!

2008-08-10T09:52:00.006-04:00

Tomorrow marks a significant milestone anniversary in my life. We've shared ten whole wonderful years together. Some of my most treasured memories are from the times we were together. True, we've had troubles along the way, heartache and frustration, but we've always been there for each other. For ten whole years.

I'm talking of course, about my car, Johann.

Johann is a cobalt blue 1993 Geo Prizm. I bought him on August 11, 1998 from a used car dealer in Lindon, Utah. I had spent that summer reading Consumer Reports and test driving various cars. Before I even met Johann, I had decided that I wanted a 1993 or 1994 Prizm.

I have never regretted the decision. Over the years, he's been a fairly reliable companion. I haven't had to worry too much about him. Sure, there was the time when my BYU roommate cranked his window crank (no, he doesn't have power windows) a little too hard and broke the mechanism, causing the window to plummet into the door frame never to rise until my dad and I took it apart. There was the time the transmission blew out soon after I moved to Virignia in 2001. And there was the fiasco of his persistently broken/repeatedly breaking starter that caused many headaches when we moved back here in 2005. And right now, the back left door doesn't open from the outside. More comically, the spring on his gas cap is broken, making it necessary to use a plastic figurine of Sneezy Dwarf (from Snow White) that came out of a McDonald's Happy Meal to prop up the little "Open Gas Cap" handle while I pry open the cap with my fingers.

But Johann has been literally all across this great country of ours with me. He's been to San Diego, and he's been to New Hampshire. The only speeding ticket I've ever received in him (or any car) was in Nowheresville, Nebraska, right in the middle of the country. Johann has boasted four different license plates since I've owned him: Utah, Virginia, Massachusetts, and now Virginia again. The first thing I did when I finished my last BYU final in December 2000 was march straight to the bookstore to buy a "BYU Alumni" license plate holder for him. I've given up the black fuzzy dice he sported for the first several years (though I think they're still rolling around on the floor in the backseat somewhere). He's been buried almost to his roof by a couple of different Massachusetts blizzards. He took me to work in Provo to the job I used to pay him off completely before I graduated. He met nearly every girl I went on a date with from 1998 to 2003 (I won't say exactly what he saw within his doors), and now Shelly exerts as much dominion over him as I do. To his credit, Johann has taken a shining to Shelly and respects her as he does me. Best of all, Johann has fulfilled the only longevity goal I had for him when I bought him ten years ago: I wanted to keep him long enough that my children would ride in him. They have.

It's true that he's getting on in years. We need to get his emissions and safety inspections done this month, and then we'll find out really what kind of shape he's in. But he's probably not going to be around a whole lot longer. Not another ten years, that's for sure. When our third kid comes along someday, we'll probably be in the market for a bigger car, and given that Shelly's car, Tommie J, is slightly newer and bigger than Johann, that might be the time that Johann and I part ways somehow. But I'm not sure I can bear that. He's been a trusty companion for ten years, and today I pay tribute to my car.

Jan Shipps

2008-08-09T17:44:00.002-04:00

I went to an unusual book club the other day. It wasn't just unusual for the fact that it was open to members of both genders.* Rather, the organizers of the meeting decided it wasn't good enough to just read a book and talk about it. They decided to invite the author.

So it was that I met Jan Shipps, the pre-eminent non-Mormon scholar of Mormonism. I'd heard much about Shipps before, but had never really read anything she'd written. Given the chance to meet her, though, I checked out not only the book that had been designated for the book club, but also her earlier book, just to make sure I understood her and her ideas.

One of our first topics of discussion was the Mormon sense of peoplehood, and whether we still believe, as we apparently used to, that Mormons are tied together not just by culture and belief, but by literal "believing blood." I commented that although I don't necessarily feel a literal kinship with my LDS brothers and sisters, I do feel an immediate bond with any Mormon I meet, because I know we understand each other and share a lot of the same background.

The weird thing was that Jan Shipps and I understood each other too, and she understood my background just as well as any Mormon. She speaks the lingo and seemed very comfortable in a group of Mormons. But I couldn't get it out of my head that she's a staunch Methodist. She used "you," not "we" when referring to the policies of the LDS Church. Here's a person who isn't a member of my church who understands my church perhaps better than I do.

The best line of the evening was when she was discussing her role as the person a lot of reporters come to when they're doing stories that involve Mormonism. She was explaining the difference between the press inquiries she received during the Salt Lake Olympics and during the Mitt Romney presidential campaign (she said the Olympics coverage of Mormonism focused primarily on behavior ("Those Mormons are sure courteous and clean-cut!"), whereas the coverage during the Romney campaign focused on belief ("Don't Mormons believe that Jesus and Satan are brothers?")). Rambling a little bit about Romney, she said, "Now, will he be the next vice-president? I don't know. In a lot of ways, I hope not - I'd really like to finish my book!"

The thing that impressed me the most was when she stated that she has taken a position of not looking at the anti-Mormon materials that reveal the sacred ordinances of the temple. "I respect that the members of the Church regard that as sacred, and something that isn't open to outsiders, so I stay out of it." She said that the Brethren allow her greater access to some of the materials in the Church Archives than the ydo to a lot of Mormon historians. She said, "I think it's because the Brethren trust me because of my position on the temple."

On the other side of the "impressed" spectrum was when someone asked her a question that I'd been wondering while I was reading her books: Where do you personally believe the Book of Mormon came from? She ducked the question, saying that she hasn't ever really taken a position on where it came from, preferring to focus on studying and discussing what happens to people when they decide it's true or false. A disappointing answer. But then she added, almost as an aside, an obvious but telling statement: "Of course, if I really believed that the Book of Mormon is exactly what it claims to be, I'd be a Mormon."

All in all, it was a fabulous meeting that made me think more about my faith, my people, and my history. Leave it to someone who doesn't share my faith, my people, or my history to make me do it.

* Pet peeve: Why is it that nearly every book club I've ever heard of is a women-only thing? Do people think that men don't read? I read! I'd like to discuss the books I read with other people!

Deserved Praise

2008-08-06T15:13:00.001-04:00

Shelly has something to say.

On Playhouse Disney: Little Einsteins

2008-08-04T22:43:00.003-04:00

My little Ellie has started watching TV. I'm not the one primarily responsible for monitoring her TV-watching habits, but this much I know: she really likes Playhouse Disney, the set of weekday-morning cartoons on the disney Channel, featuring Little Einsteins, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, My Friends Tigger and Pooh, and Handy Manny (except she doesn't like Handy Manny so much as the others).

Probably her favorite is Little Einsteins, a show that features four artistically inclined youths and their friend Rocket, who is a seeminly omnipotent rocket. I like Little Einsteins because they make an attempt at exposing the audience to culture, picking an artist and a composer of the day (take that, Sesame Street and your letter and number of the day!). Even if they do put silly words to great music,* at least it's still great music. And the animation, unlike the other Playhouse Disney shows, which are clearly cranked out by a low-budget computer, shows some creative skill.

But the more I've watched Little Einsteins, the more I worry about what it's teaching my daughter. They may have music and dance and art down pat, but they leave something to be desired in logic and problem-solving. Yeah, I know it's just a cartoon, but when the Einsteins** are flying in Rocket and they come face-to-face with, say, a tall building that they need to get to the other side of, instead of flying around it or using Rocket's rocket boosters to go a little higher, they say, "Oh no! We need to get over the building! The only way to do it is to clap our hands really fast. The faster we clap, the higher Rocket will go!" Or maybe they need to sing a high note to be able to swim across a river. Or they need to raise their hands really high and that will make the sun not shine so hot on the ice sculpture they don't want to melt. Or something equally ridiculous.

So I ask myself: it is good for Ellie to know the theme from Verdi's Aida, but is it good enough to outweigh the bad of one day my sweetie telling me that if she spins around in a circle, her room will be suddenly cleaned up?

To be continued...

*I don't know if I can ever hear Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake theme again without hearing the words, "Oh, don't feel sad, baby booby bird! We will get you to the ballet on time!" See, there was this blue-footed booby who needed to perform in the ballet, and, well...

** There's no indication that any of these children are German or Jewish or in any way related to Albert Einstein. They don't do physics or really any sort of science. The only reason they are collectively called the Little Einsteins (not to be confused with Baby Einstein, which has the same situation) is to make parents think their kids will be smarter for being exposed to them. As I explain in the text, this is not the case.

Master of the Claw

2008-07-21T21:19:00.002-04:00

Last week my big brother and his blonde family of six were in town to tour around for a few days. Shelly got to get together with them for some of the touring, but as I had to work, my contact was mostly limited to dinner each of two nights in a row. The second evening we went to Generous George's Positive Pizza and Pasta Place, an Alexandria mainstay.

On the way out, my brother handed his eldest, eight-year-old Scrappy,* a couple of dollar bills and told him he could play the Claw Game. You know, the one with the stuffed animals in a bin and you maneuver the big claw to try to grab one and drop it down the chute to you?

Scrappy got two tries for each dollar bill. The first attempt was utter failure. The second attempt he went after a teddy bear close to the chute - a wise choice. He was able to clamp down on the bear, but the claw let go before he moved it at all.

New dollar bill. The third try he nabbed the same bear again, and was able to nudge it right up to the edge of the chute. Then on the fourth try, he got the bear, brought it over the lip of the chute, and it fell with its head over the chute and its feet on the other side of the dividing wall. Fortunately, the bear's head was heavier than his feet, and he fell down into Scrappy's waiting arms.

I have never seen anyone win the Claw Game before. Granted, I don't know how many time I've ever watched anyone try, but I am now convinced my nephew has some extra-special powers.

* Not his real name, but that's really what I call him. Before he was born, when we asked what they were thinking of naming the baby, they were very tight-lipped, so I said, "It doesn't matter what you name him; I'm going to call him Scrappy." And I do.

Almost to the Future

2008-07-16T22:23:00.003-04:00

This past weekend, when the iPhone 3G was released (and even more so in the media hype leading up to it), I found myself almost to the point of wanting to go whole hog with this crazy machine. It's strange, because I don't have a BlackBerry or any other mobile email device, and I don't really want one. Sometimes people (at work) think I'm weird for that reason, but I don't care. All I have is a piddly little bargain-basement cell phone.

One of the reasons I have a piddly little bargain-basement cell phone instead of a more fancy-pants cell phone is that all the fancy-pants cell phones have features that I don't want or need. Why would I want a silly 1-megapixel camera on my phone (which has limited storage capabilities)? It would never replace my actual digital camera, which has 3.2 megapixels (I bought it five years ago - now that's pretty piddly too, but it gets the job done). Why would I want some pay-by-the-month music service? It would never replace my iPod.

But the new iPhone is tantalizingly close to what I've been waiting for all along: the all-in-one killer-app gadget. A single device that is: 1) cell phone, 2) iPod, 3) digital camera, 4) Internet, 5) email, 6) GPS, and 7) who knows what else. If there were a single device with good enough features that it would replace my camera, my iPod, etc., then I think I would be sorely tempted.

Probably that killer device will be the next generation of iPhone. The reason I'm not rushing out to get this version is that I still am waiting for the following: 1) better camera resolution (at least 3mpx), 2) video camera capability, and most importantly, 3) much larger hard drive so that I can store all my music and high-resolution pictures. I would also want to make sure it could play webcasts and make me a bowl of soup and just about everything. I think this day will come and then I'll be the coolest guy on the block. Till then, I'll just be a Luddite.

Sooner or Later, They'll Think of Something

2008-07-08T22:45:00.003-04:00

As an NBA fan, but not a Seattle SuperSonics fan, I reacted with interest, not sadness, to the news this week that the Sonics are officially moving to Oklahoma City for next season. Everyone seems very sad that Seattle is losing the team after 41 years, and if I were a Seattlan, I would indeed be distressed.

But I see this as a moment of opportunity.

See, the deal indicates that the city of Seattle gets to keep the Sonics' name, colors, and logos. The team will have to come up with an entirely new identity in Oklahoma. And that, to me, is very cool.

I can't understand why all the news coverage I've seen of the deal is focusing on the sadness of Seattle and not the happiness of Oklahoma City - and especially speculation about what the new team name and colors will be.

These are very important issues. If they mess up, they could end up like the Montreal Expos (a stupid name to begin with), who moved here to DC and became the Washington Nationals. The Nationals?! Are they serious? What's a National? Don't be giving me something silly like that, or something frozen in time like the Toronto Raptors who were obviously created in 1993, the year Jurassic Park came out.

I did some Googling and was finally able to find a message board where people were making their own suggestions. Most were stupid (Oakies? Sooners?), but some of my favorites included the Thunderbirds, the Bison, and the Dust Devils. I'm not a big fan of sports team names that are a singular noun (although my Utah Jazz fall into that category) or a verb. I'm cool with it having some connection to the area, but Indian names are taboo, and please don't call them the Oilers.

And please have some guts with the colors. It seems everyone (even my beloved Utah Jazz and BYU) are heading towards dark blues and reds, eschewing bright "unwearable" colors. But what happens now when the Jazz play the Mavericks play the Knicks play the Magic? It's all the same! I dare them to include brown.

Vacation Tales Part IV: Floating

2008-07-07T20:19:00.002-04:00

The highlight of the trip to Williamsburg (which was now two weeks ago!) was one particular moment at Water Country USA, the big waterpark they have there. Ellie and I were on the Hubba Hubba Highway, the lazy river (that's not so lazy - the current was pretty strong at times). They provided free life vests for everyone, so you could just float along and not have to worry too much about actually swimming. I was holding on to Ellie's hands or shoulders, helping her keep above the water, and she was having a great time splashing and twirling in the water as we bobbed along.

Then she said, "Daddy, I want to do it by myself."

So I let go of her and let the life vest do its work.

I can't describe the look of sheer joy and elation that overtook Ellie's face at that moment. I wish I had a camera. I tried very hard to burn the image in my memory, but I know it will fade with time. Not only was our little water horse having a great time immersed and splashing, she was doing it by herself.

Her expression said to me, "I am such a big girl now because I don't need any help to do this." It was a momentous occasion for her. She was just glowing, with the biggest smile I've ever seen on her. It was one of those moments as a dad that you just want to hold onto forever. So we went around the Hubba Hubba Highway about five more times, even making sure Mama got to join us. Every time was bliss, but that moment of revelation was one of the very best highlights of my fatherhood to date.

Vacation Tales Part III: Doffing My Hat

2008-07-02T21:47:00.003-04:00

I love my daughter more than I love my hat.

I'm not even really a hat-wearer. But when we were going to spend the day standing in lines at Busch Gardens, I knew I'd better put something on my apex, because the ol' follicles aren't the sunscreen they used to be, if you know what I mean. So I grabbed my old green hat with my firm's (former) name on it, which I received for free at the beginning of my summer associateship in 2004.

The first bad sign was when I left it on the second ride I went on - I didn't want it to get blown off in the wind of the roller coaster, so I sat on it. Then when it was over, I stood up and walked away. Fortunately, Shelly went on the next ride after me (we were swapping out the kids) and when I yelled to her to look in the seat I was in, the staff member handed her my hat. Whew!

Then came the log flume. Shelly and Ellie and I all got into the same fiberglass "log", with me holding Ellie on my lap and Shelly in front of us. This not being a fast roller coaster, I didn't think to sit on my hat this time. I mean, how bad could it be if they let Ellie on the ride? (Besides, the seat was wet!) There was a smallish drop before the really big one, and Ellie reacted with "I don't like that!" so I held on to her the tighter for the big one.

Halfway down, I could feel the air working against the bill of my cap. Jiggle, jiggle. We're screaming. I'm holding Ellie and she's doing OK. Down, down. I could grab my hat with one hand, but then I'd have to let go of Ellie. Jiggle, jiggle. I feel it getting higher on my head. Down, down. Grab the girl, not the hat. The girl, not the hat.

Whoosh.

"Daddy, did you lose your hat?"

I just hope that when they pull my hat out of whatever flume drain it clogs up, they won't be able to use the law firm name on it and the DNA in the hairs stuck to it to trace it back to me.

Vacation Tales Part II: In The Busch

2008-06-25T19:44:00.002-04:00

So here's my general review of Busch Gardens, where we spent a day and a half this past weekend. The thing I liked the best about the park was its theme. It seems every other amusement park I've been to has been themed after some entertainment property, like cartoon characters or movies. Even Knott's Berry Farm is inexplicably sponsored by the Peanuts gang.

But Busch Gardens' theme is simply: Europe. The park is divided into different sections, but instead of calling them Adventureland or Superheroes' Corner or something, they're simply called things like Germany, England, or France. And an effort was made to make the various areas look, feel, and sound at least like a commercialized amusement park's attempt to resemble those various places (though I thought Italy focused a little too much on Ancient Rome -- no gondolas? What the heck?).

They even piped in theme music for each country, though their choices made me wonder who it was who decided on the music. Italy has traditional Italian cafe music with accordians and stuff, Scotland has bagpipes, Ireland has Celtic dance music, and so forth. But Germany is blanketed in polka music. It's kind of funny at first, but we actually ended up spending most of one afternoon in Germany, because a lot of the stuff we wanted to do was there, and by the end of it I wasn't the only person who was answering the question "What do you want to do next?" with "Get the heck away from these polkas!"

Even stranger, although parts of England had British Invasion '60s rock bands playing, other parts had classical music playing. German classical music, specifically. I recognized Bach and Beethoven easily. Oh how I longed for a prelude and fugue when those tubas were oompah-ing my brains to death.

The park, I thought, was poorly designed, in that it was difficult to get from any given Point A to any given Point B. You'd think it would be in the park's interest to allow people to easily get where they want to go. That way, they're happy and they recommend the place to their friends and their legs don't fall off. But I guess Busch Gardens has opted instead for trying to keep lines shorter by making everyone walk for 20 minutes before they can even get to the line they want to stand in. It didn't work for me.

One thing I will say for the park, though: surprisingly good food. When you go to an amusement park, you expect outrageously overpriced food, and in that regard, Busch Gardens did not disappoint. But you also expect the outrageously overpriced food to be of only mediocre quality. But we ate in Italy the first night and the outrageously overpriced chicken parmesan and canneloni platter I got was actually really good. I mean, restaurant quality. I know Anheuser-Busch is a food company, but I didn't know they made chicken parmesan. Bravo.

My only complaint with the food is that, in trying to keep with the European theme, they offer European ethnic food. That meant that when we ate in Germany (where we actually were entertained by a live polka band and dancers), they were actually offering boiled red cabbage! (I didn't check to see if haggis was on the menu of the restaurant in Scotland.) Even weirder: people were paying outrageous prices for it and eating it! (I got a bratwurst on a bun; Shelly got a pizza.)

Vacation Tales Part I: Peace to my Stomach

2008-06-24T23:44:00.002-04:00

We took a couple of days off at the end of the week to head down to Williamsburg with some friends. We spent a day and a half at Busch Gardens (a big amusement park) and a day at Water Country USA (a big water park). It was one of those vacations that isn't really relaxing. We came home feeling a bit more tired than we felt when we left, but we also felt happier. It was great to spend so much continuous time with my girls.

Rather than a big long travel-log, I think I'll make a series of short posts over the next few days about a few of the more interesting events and thoughts related to the trip.

The first thought is my admission that I am not a big fan of big roller coasters. I'm quite fine with medium-sized roller coasters and even medium-big-sized roller coasters. But the ones that advertise themselves as the most death defying things ever just aren't for me.

There was one ride at Busch Gardens that I categorically refused to go on, even though the other adults in the party wanted nothing more than to ride it time and time again: the Griffon. I took one look at the 90-degree drop and knew I didn't need to have anything to do with this ride.

I'm not scared of big big roller coasters. I don't think I'm going to die or anything. I just know that they're going to make me feel feelings that I don't like. Once, back in my single days, when I was interning in L.A., I was trying to impress a girl and took her to Knott's Berry Farm. She wanted to go on the big free-fall ride they have, and I acquiesced, hoping that some relationship-related good would come out of it. Well, things never really worked out with her, and I've been regretting the decision to follow her on that ride ever since. I'm not so sure the few dates we went on after that point were worth the gut-wrenching feeling I felt at that moment as I hurtled downward and left my stomach at the top of the ride.

So not going on the Griffon was an easy choice for me. The girl I'm in now love with is already impressed with me, and I can still be assured of payoff in this relationship whether I do it or not. Shelly loved the Griffon. More power to her. I helped watch all the kids, and pointed up at the screaming people and told Ellie that "Those people are crazy."

And, for the record, I went on every other roller coaster they had there, and loved them all. I even loved the twisty, loopy, flingy Alpengeist more than Shelly did.

The Point of No Return

2008-06-16T23:24:00.002-04:00

I realized something this weekend.

On Saturday morning, we went to a local state park on the Potomac, where they were opening a new pirate-themed water park by hosting a live pirate attack at the shore. They had a little schooner, and there was musket and cannon fire back and forth till the pirates made a landing and the swordplay started. Ellie thought the cannonfire was "too loud," but she enjoyed the nearby playground when the pirates got a little boring.

Then we went to a birthday party for Ellie's friend Jasmine, where there was a moon bounce, a wading pool, princess crafts, and other 3-year-old fun.

As I was sitting quietly in a chair, watching Ellie lean into the pool to splash herself (before we got her swimsuit on her), a thought hit me. We've passed the point in life where we now start doing things not because we think they will be fun, but because we think Ellie will think they are fun. We're living vicariously through our children. Already.

Don't get me wrong - I think I was the person who most enjoyed the pirate attack, and I certainly had a good time at the party (and later that very full day we went to a more adult-oriented party where Ellie just ran around the house giggling). But when we think of fun things to do, we think of fun things for our little girl to do. And the fun of it for us is showing her and sharing the fun with her. Until the cannon fired, I held Ellie on my shoulders and was overjoyed as I showed her the pirate ship out in the water. At the party, the fact that she was having the time of her life bouncing in the moon bounce with her boyfriend Ryan gave me more joy than a lot of the things I actually do for fun for myself.

I guess that's part of being a parent: the thing that makes me happiest is making my girls happy.